


The Forever saga

by craploadsofawesome



Series: The forever Saga [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-03-31 13:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 44,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3980341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/craploadsofawesome/pseuds/craploadsofawesome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In 1697 , the first time Laurel Hollis sees Mircalla Karnstein , she thinks she is the most beautiful woman in the world . In 2014 , though , it doesn't take Laura Hollis long to realize that no matter how unfairly gorgeous Carmilla Karnstein is , she might possibly kill her from sheer exasperation .<br/>300 years on , two star crossed lovers meet again .</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction , and I may possibly not be very good at it . So , wonderful and kind reader , I only ask for you to be a little patient with me , while I try to navigate the murky waters of fandoms . I would really , really , appreciate it if you could comment , advise me or give suggestions . Thank you !

                                                                                                                                                                                

1697 -

_The first time Laurel Hollis sees Lady Karnstein , she thinks she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Which , as Lafontaine tells her , isn’t saying much , considering the fact that she has never been out of the small village in Styria where they live . Laurel shushes her though , caught up in the way Lady Karnstein looks with the sunlight hitting her face at the perfect angle ,that makes her skin glow . With her dark hair cascading over sharp cheekbones and an angular jaw , she looks like an absolute angel , even if she isn’t smiling ._

_‘Who is she? ‘ she asks Lafontaine , ignoring the smirk on her friend’s face ._

_‘Lady Karnstein ‘ , Laf replies ._

_She tries again ,’I mean , what is her name ?’_

_‘Karnstein ‘_

_Exasperated , she shoves Laf into the wall ,’Her first name ,you ignoramus!’_

_Chuckling , Laf obliges ,’ Mircalla ‘_

_Mircalla , Laurel muses , it sounds beautiful . Just like her ._

                                                                                                                                                                                 **************

2014

The first time Laura Hollis sees Carmilla Karnstein , she is not in a good mood . It might be something to do with the fact that she is tired ( from all the late night vlogging that has been going on ever since Betty disappeared ) , angry at Laf , who exploded eggs and got yolk all over her favorite yellow pillow (‘ It was an experiment , Laura ! How was I supposed to know the temperature was too much ?’ ‘Oh ,I don’t know , by paying attention , maybe ?’) , and has run out of chocolate chip cookies . So she can’t exactly be blamed for the less than welcoming ‘ Who the hell are you ?’ she throws at the newcomer .

The girl turns around , and Laura freezes .

Not because the girl is hot , because its not that ( although the girl is gorgeous , no doubt about that . With the dark , curly hair framing a perfect bone structure , an aquiline nose and pouty lips , she is devastatingly beautiful ) . And definitely not because of her sexy , rasping voice which shoots a ‘Carmilla , sweetheart . I’m your new roommate ‘ at her before she turns .

Its when she looks into her eyes , her dark , intense eyes , that the strongest feeling of déjà vu washes over her . She knows this girl , knows her , knows her inside out , better than herself . She thinks ‘ I found you ‘ , and then gets confused , because clearly , this is the first time they’ve met , right ? Then why does this girl look so achingly familiar , why does she feel like the memory of her is just out of reach ?

Laura has been staring for a while now , so she breaks off the eye contact and coughs . The girl ( Carmilla , she thinks ) had been staring too . When Laura shatters the moment , she looks away , embarrassed.

‘ Do I know you?’ Laura asks , because she has to know . Maybe there is a perfectly reasonable explanation , like meeting her at a party or something , but she doesn’t have a lot a hope . Meeting someone at a party wouldn’t explain the feeling that coursed through her veins , the urge to touch Carmilla , to make sure she is real .

‘I’m pretty sure I’d remember someone like you ,cupcake ‘ she replies , and thus is born the saga of the annoying names .

                                                                                                                                                                             ***************

 1697

_She’s lived in this place all her life . Its not the most profitable town in the country , and it doesn’t provide a lot of opportunities , but its home . It’s where she was born, where she grew up playing with Laf , Kirsch and Danny , where she lost her mother ( it took her a lot of time , but now she can say that with a minimal amount of flinching ) and where her father taught her how to protect herself , how to fight (as a man of law , it was the only way he could express his love and adoration for his daughter ) . Its familiar ._

_What she has been feeling ever since she saw Mircalla , though , is not ._

_Its been two days since she saw her for the first time in the marketplace , since the Karnsteins moved into their sleepy little village , and her mind is consumed by thoughts of the dark-haired mysterious girl .She hopes she’ll run into her and get to unravel the mystery that she seems to be . Laf ,who is usually good at guessing her thoughts , nudges her . ‘You’re thinking about her again , aren’t you ?’_

_‘Thinking about who ?’ she asks , though it’s a half hearted attempt ._

_‘Mircalla , of course ,’ Laf answers ,’Your lady love ‘._

_‘Laf , I don’t even know her ,‘and she sounds melancholy , because God knows she wants to ._

_‘So talk to her ‘_

_Laurel chuckles without a trace of humour ‘Yes , Laf , I suppose I’ll just walk into Karnstein hall , greet Dame Karnstein , walk into Mircalla’s room and demand an audience .’ Even here , they have heard tales of the cruelty and arrogance of the Dame , Mircalla’s mother , who doesn’t mingle with the lower classes , who has had countless servants and slaves flogged and thrown out of the province for small missteps and mistakes ._

_‘Actually , Laurel ,that is exactly what you are going to do’_

_‘I don’t understand’_

_‘You remember J.P , Kirsch’s gambling partner ?’, Laf asks , continuing when Laurel nods , ‘ Well , there is going to be a Grand Ball tonight at Karnstein Hall , which I suppose the Dame organized in order to show her influence in this province . J.P told Kirsch he was going to be serving at this ball , and promised he would let a secret door unlocked right in the vast gardens behind the hall . Which , basically means……’_

_‘I’m going to see her again’_


	2. Chapter 2

2014

Laura doesn’t know how its possible for somebody to be aggravating , insensitive , rude and drop dead gorgeous , all at the same time . Carmilla excels at this . She spends half her days sleeping (on Laura’s yellow pillow) , and the other half with her ‘study buddies’ (although with the sounds of giggling and whispering going on in her half of the room , Laura doesn’t think there is a lot of studying going on) . She steals her cookies , her chocolate and has absolutely no sense of personal space whatsoever . To top it off , she keeps calling Laura things like cupcake and sweetheart and Laura hates it (she also hates the shiver that makes its way up her spine when Carmilla speaks in her rasping voice)

They don’t interact much , except for short exchanges in which Carmilla tries to be as rude and aloof as possible and Laura tries not to scream at her . She doesn't know a lot about the other girl , except that she is a philosophy major , and even that she found out from those horrible sounding titles of books she leaves lying around .She also doesn’t know why she seems so familiar .

Laura had thought there would be some residual awkwardness after the whole ‘staring into each other’s eyes at their first meeting’ debacle , but Carmilla doesn’t seem to be affected . She acts as though nothing happened , and Laura would totally be convinced if it wasn’t for the fact that Carmilla keeps shooting her these curious looks when she thinks Laura isn’t paying attention .

The whole thing is weird as hell , and it doesn’t give her time to focus on Betty’s mysterious disappearance , which she should be doing instead of spending all of her time thinking of her stupid , annoying roommate .Her stupid , annoying , beautiful roommate.

 ***********

1697

‘ _Scoot over , Kirsch , I need to get in’_

_‘Well you can’t ! Let me go in and see if the coast is clear’_

_‘I can do that too’_

_There is a pause and Kirsch and Laf burst into laughter ._

_Laurel crosses her arms and scowls . This is the absolute last time she is going out with the two of them . She wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for her need to see Mircalla again .So her friends can laugh and make fun of her all they want as long as she gets to talk to the lovely Mircalla , find out what makes her smile and…………._

_‘Lost in thoughts of your ladylove again , Laurel ?’_

_‘Oh , quiet, you !’_

_It takes them twenty more minutes of Kirsch obsessively checking around the gardens but they finally make their way into the back room ,where Kirsch and Laf disappear into the servant’s quarters . Laurel is the only one who can attend the ball , mostly because she is the only one who could convince the town tailor to lend her a ball gown , but also because Kirsch and Laf would be really noticeable ; Kirsch because of his enormous size , and Laf because of their flaming red hair .She hates the thought of leaving her friends behind , but they are fine with it , telling her to go have fun at the rich people’s ball  ._

_So Laurel takes a deep breath , and steps into the ballroom ._

_************_

_2014_

_‘_ ‘What do you do at night , when you’re not here ?’

Carmilla raises an eyebrow , and she can feel herself blushing . ‘Not that’, she hurriedly tells Carmilla  . I mean , what do you……oh crap , I mean , I’m sorry , I was just trying to get to know you .’

‘Why do you wanna get to know me ?’

Laura looks at her , like she is out of her mind ‘Because we’re roommates ? Because we live together and study next to each other , and don’t you think  its , you know , normal to find out something about a person you reside with ?’

‘Oh , don’t worry about that . I know a lot of stuff about you .’

She looks at her , incredulous ‘Really ?’

‘Well , I know you’re tiny ,and annoying , and entirely too wound up , and addicted to sugar , and I think that’s the most important part , right ?’

She huffs out a breath ‘Ha , ha . I can say lots of horrible things about you too .I can say you’re mean , and disorganized ,and a cookie thief ,and you disturb me all the time by making out with your study buddies while I’m in the room……..’

‘Oh , I’m sorry , does it bother you ?’

‘Yes ! Yes it does!’

Carmilla smirks at her ‘Awesome’

_************_

_1697_

_Karnstein hall is huge  . And beautiful . There is a expensive silver chandelier adorning the ceiling that hangs over the slowly waltzing couples . Servers are milling about ,serving wine to every important person in the province Laurel has ever heard of . There is Lady Wright , Sir Abbenhaus and she can see Sir Habsburg talking to some duchess whose name she cannot remember . She looks around , feeling a little overwhelmed with all the high class air ventilating the room , and spots Dame Karnstein with Mircalla , with their backs to her talking to the son of Count Noreau . Casually picking up a wine glass , she wanders closer ._

_‘And of course you remember my daughter , Mircalla . As I recall , you two seemed to be having a lot of fun at our last gathering , didn’t you , darling ?’_

_Mircalla nods ,though the movement seems disinterested to Laurel . She watches as the son asks Mircalla for a dance , and they go off together , waltzing beautifully , but then pretty much anything Mircalla does seems beautiful to her ._

_After the dance , she waits till Mircalla goes near the dining section , and then , casually says ‘ You should run while you can’_

_Mircalla whirls around , surprised , and the world stops turning ._

_She had known Mircalla was beautiful , but this close , her beauty hits her right in the face . She has got the most intense dark-brown eyes that sparkle even through the expression of apathy that Laurel had seen her dole out to her suitors tonight , her lips are full , and skin that Laurel wants (needs , craves) to feel under her fingertips . She thinks looking into her eyes makes her black out for a moment , because when she comes to , the other girl is looking at her curiously ._

_‘I beg your pardon ?’she asks , and Laurel cannot breathe , not when her voice sounds so divine , but she makes an effort , and speaks ._

_‘The son of Count Noreau ? You could really do so much better . That man isn’t a human being , he is a shopkeeper .’_

_‘A shopkeeper ?’_

_‘I may have overheard you talking to him , and I heard him criticize you for wearing your watch because its “too cheap” . Take it from me , that man will bore you throughout your life telling you the price of every single thing you come across . Its free advice  , take it , or leave it’_

_‘And that is your professional opinion ?’_

_‘Well , yes ‘_

_‘Well ,I think you’re very rude and impertinent , considering the fact that you're giving me suggestions when I don't even know you’_

_‘Oh , I’m Laurel . Laurel Hollis  , and I consider it my public duty to warn you against him . It should be a criminal offense to bore somebody as much as he does , and I really think  you’re too young to die of boredom’_

_She holds her breath , and after a moment , loses it again as Mircalla smiles , because , yes , she may look pretty all the time , but she looks positively angelic when she smiles ._

_‘Nice to meet you , Laurel . I’m Mircalla Karnstein’_


	3. Chapter 3

2014

Laura Hollis deserves an award for putting up with her roommate.

Today she returned to her room (after attending the most grueling literature class) hoping to collapse in her bed , only to find that it was occupied . By a pair of girls who were making out rather enthusiastically . One of those girls was her half naked roommate , who , after Laura screamed , resurfaced from the rather hungry and bottomless pit of the girls mouth (seriously , you call that kissing ?) to give Laura a ‘Hey , there , roomie’ and a smug smirk .

‘What the…..who the…….get the hell out of my room , right now ! God  , what is wrong with you ? Its like you want to annoy me…’

‘Caught on pretty soon , sweetheart’, Carmilla mutters ,then aloud ,she says to the girl ‘You need to leave ,Alice’

‘Alicia’, she says , to which Carmilla shoots her a look that says “Do I look like I care ?”

Alicia gathers her jacket , puts on her shoes , gives her a baleful look , and leaves the room .

Then Laura looks at her , really paying attention and after a moment , thinks she is close to hyperventilating , because Carmilla , Carmilla “Holy crap she is so hot” Karnstein is laying on her bed . In a bra . As in half naked . Laura tears her eyes away from her body (it’s a task equivalent to climbing Mt Everest) , searches for her shirt and throws it to her , telling her to get dressed .

After a minute of what might be the longest stint of putting on a shirt in history , which is punctuated by Carmilla stretching in every angle possible and smirking at her open mouth , she speaks again .

‘You need to stop bringing girls back to our room . Its gross , and irritating , and completely unfair of you…’

‘I agree . I’m the only one who’s getting laid , right ? I’ll find you some girl , too’

‘To have your study buddies over when I’m tired , or I want to study , which side note , is something people do in college . You should try it too’

‘Oh don’t remind me of study buddies . Why are girls so clingy ? We should have dinner together , Carmilla , or We should go out for coffee sometime , Carmilla , or Why were you flirting with Natalie , Carmilla . I am so exhausted’

‘Maybe don’t rub it in their faces when you aquire a new eye candy ? That could help . I mean , its free advice , take it or leave it’

Carmilla makes a sudden movement , staring right at her and says ‘Did you just…..’

Laura has the weirdest feeling about the words she has just said ,as though its not the first time she has said them . The feeling of repetition is stronger now and she looks back at Carmilla .

‘Have I ever said that before ?’

Carmilla looks confused , and strangely vulnerable , now ‘ I…..I don’t know , I feel like you have but not , like this………….at some party maybe , hell , I don’t know , I don’t know .’

She breaks off suddenly and stares into Laura’s eyes , as though all the answers are written there .

‘Do I know you ?’ Laura asks her , softly , and waits for Carmilla to answer (She has no idea why Carmilla should , but it feels very important for her to know if she can make sense of this mess inside her head)

She opens her mouth to reply , and Lafontaine and Perry burst in , dragging a boy in tow .

Laura wants to open her mouth and scream , but Laf says ‘ Laura , we found him ! The guy who was with Betty the night she disappeared !’

_1697_

_Laurel is dreaming right now ._

_Laurel is probably dreaming right now and would really really appreciate it if her father doesn’t wake her up ._

_Mircalla , beautiful , wonderful Mircalla is smiling at her and Laurel kind of wants to sleep forever if it means this dream would never end ._

_Meanwhile the other girl is saying something , and Laura tries to focus ‘I’m sorry , what did you just say ?’_

_‘I’ve never seen you before in one of my family gatherings . Hollis……are you the niece of the English Lord who just came over from England ?’_

_‘I…..no , I’m not . Its just , can you keep a secret ?’_

_‘That depends on what the secret is . For instance , if you tell me that you are secretly a man in disguise , though it must be a very good disguise , here to court me , then I will be obliged to raise an alarm .’_

_Laurel stares at her ,shocked ,and sees Mircalla smiling in a teasing manner ._

_‘Do I really look like a man ?’_

_‘No , you have a lot of feminine charms . You’re very pretty’, she replies and the look in her eyes makes Laurel’s throat dry up . She gulps, and starts talking ._

_‘I am the daughter of lawman Edwin Hollis , and I wasn’t technically, invited .’_

_‘You are a commoner , then . Maman has warned me not to interact with commoners  .’_

_‘I resent that term . We are all commoners , unless we make something of ourselves , and that does not include being born into money or having a lot of it . After all ,we are born with nothing , and at the end of our lives , will die with nothing .’_

_‘You really believe that ,’ Mircalla replies to her passionate monologue , with a curious look in her eyes ._

_‘Indeed , I do . Besides , do you always do what your mother tells you to ?’_

2014

‘So , basically , that night , Betty kept saying “I remember” over and over .’

The guy (he’s a Zeta Omega Mu , from what she remembers , and his name is John , or something) , nods fervently .

‘Yeah , we were like ,totally making out (at this Carmilla lets out a noise that indicates distaste , from her bed where she is pretending to read) , and Betty broke off and said her head hurt ,and that she remembered , so I went off to get her some water . When I came back , she was gone .’

‘Think ,’ Laf says to him ‘Are you sure she said nothing else ?’

‘Dude ,I was pretty wasted that night , but I’m almost sure that’s what she said .’

Why would Betty say ‘I remember’ and what did she remember that got her kidnapped ?

 


	4. Chapter 4

1697

_Laurel looks around the doorway while she waits for Mircalla to get here . If she wasn’t so nervous , she would probably enjoy the sight of the lit-up gardens some more , but the thought of Mircalla wanting to meet her friends….._

_After she told Mircalla the whole story , the actually-a-lady-but-don’t-ever-call-me-that-I’m-Mircalla had laughed loudly and very gently insisted on meeting Laf and Kirsch , because apparently her life was full of people who bowed to her and called her Miss and Lady , and they seemed like the most interesting people in her world , so she agreed ._

_And she loves her friends , but they’re not Mircalla’s kind of people (neither is she , for that matter ) , and she doesn’t want them to scare her away by asking stupid questions . What if they offend her and she doesn’t ever want to see Laurel again ? The idea seems too painful to think about ._

_There is a tap on her shoulders , and she turns around to the sight of the girl she was thinking about , her dress now covered with a shawl ._

_‘What did you tell your mother ?’_

_‘I told her I wasn’t feeling well , and she was so busy trying to increase her sphere of power by talking to Lord Abbott that she just waved me off .’_

_Mircalla’s flippant tone bothers her ,simply for the reason that she seems like its hiding the fact that her mother’s indifference hurts her , but Laurel doesn’t say anything , instead stepping back and waving a hand towards the doorway for Mircalla to go first ._

2014

Silas university is a weird place .

Nobody dares to venture near the Alchemy club when they’re in an experimenting mood for fear of being turned into an iguana (it happened once to a Summer Society girl and a Zeta Omega Mu guy , and Danny and Kirsch were not pleased . In fact , the only reason they did not beat the head of the department into a pulp was because they got drawn into an argument about who made a better iguana , Emily or Jason .) , one time the Glee club messed up their speakers so all day every class in the vicinity of the Arts department was subjected to a badly oriented mashup of Taylor Swift , Eminem , and Lorde (All my gangsters and all my thugs…….live in cities you never see onscreen…….coz’ you got to shake it off , shake it off) , and Laura has no idea where Lafontaine gets the equipment (or the ideas) for her science experiments .

So she is minimally surprised when Carmilla trudges in one afternoon , covered all over in bird feathers and blades of grass .

‘The environmentalists?’, she asks .

‘The environmentalists’, Carmilla confirms .

Honestly , Laura is more shocked that Carmilla is talking to her than her appearance . Since the incident of the-conversation-that-may-or-may-not-have-happened-before ,their fighting has escalated to a level where all it takes is one underwear of Carmilla’s lying around to start World War 3 (they’re black , and lacy and Laura would never admit it but the reason she is so bothered by it is , along with the fact that its unhygienic ,is that seeing her underwear invariably makes her mind wander to what Carmilla might look like in it , and that is not wise ) . They fight about study buddies , cookie stealing , Laura’s incessant vlogging and what-not . So Laura is cautiously optimistic when Carmilla replies to her question .

The girl enters the bathroom and after a shower full of mutterings of ‘I will kill you ,you little shits’ and ‘ You idiots , what bird were you killing ?’ she comes out ,visibly cleaner , clad in a towel . She changes , right in front of Laura , and then curls up on her bed with Laura’s pillow .

‘You could at least ask’, Laura grumbles , because she needs to say something (after seeing Carmilla in just a towel , she had to check if her throat had gone permanently dry) , and is ignored .

After five minutes of silence , she tries again ‘Hey , you know , we could maybe , like watch a movie or….’

Carmilla raises a hand ‘Okay , creampuff , just because I said one word to you doesn’t automatically imply we’re going to be friends and braid each other’s hair .’

That’s when Laura loses it .

‘Okay , I have tried . I have tried to be patient ,and friendly ,and understanding but I give up now . I am tired of making an effort and tired of trying to maintain a civil relationship with you , and I am done . No more . Your soul is too damaged to recognize when someone is trying to help you . So , you know what , I am not goinna try and talk to you ,even if it is out of misguided effort to make you feel better after a clearly crappy day .’

‘Yeah , well no one asked you to make an effort ! Do I look like I need your help ?Oh no , you decided that all on your own . I am your little charity case . Lets do something to make the broken girl better , shall we , because something must have happened to her for her to end up this bitter , right? Lets solve the freaking mystery and analyse her . Well , maybe broken girl is simply sad , and wants to mope alone for a while !’

There is total silence after Carmilla’s outburst ,and Laura has never felt guiltier in her life . So trying to make things better , she says the first thing that comes to mind .

‘When I’m sad , I stop being sad and start being awesome instead .’

A startled half laugh , half scoff bursts out of Carmilla’s lips . ‘ What ?’

Encouraged , Laura continues ‘Its from How I met your mother ? The awesomest show in the world ever , along with Doctor Who ?’When the other girl shows no signs of comprehension , she continues ‘ Oh come on , you must have heard of it !’

‘I don’t waste my time watching inane T.V shows .’

‘How do you know its inane if you’ve never watched it ? You know what ,you need to be educated in matters of good television material . We ought to start right now………and on God , I am such an idiot , you literally tore my head off for this , like , five minutes ago…..’

Carmilla mumbles something , and Laura stops rambling ‘I’m sorry ,what ?’

The dark haired girl looks in the eye ‘ I said , maybe one episode wouldn’t hurt .’

Its not a lot, not for the three months of roommate battles , but in that moment , it feels like a great start .

_1697_

_‘And then J.P says –‘Brother , I don’t know where you got that thought , but it seems like you were missing when God up there was distributing brains !’_

_She is going to get down on her knees and thank God everyday from now on for the wonderful , wonderful friends she has , Laurel thinks ,as she watches a amused smile flit across Mircalla’s face . This seems to be the closest to laughter as the dark-haired girl can get , she has noticed . While Laf and J.P burst out in laughter at Kirsch’s story ,  Mircalla’s lips simply twitch , but it makes Laurel’s heart backflip and somersault within her chest ._

_She seems to have hit it off with all of Laurel’s friends , finding Kirsch’s way of talking endearing instead of impudent , and miraculously being understanding about Laf’s pronouns (I may take some time to get used to it , but please forgive me if I ever forget and address you wrongly , she had said , and Laf had simply beamed) . If Laurel had found her beautiful and interesting , she is completely smitten now . She spends the time stealing glances at Mircalla , looking away shyly when she catches Mircalla doing the same to her ._

_After about an hour and a half, a girl bursts into the room at the end of the servants quarter , where they’re sitting in a circle ._

_‘Has any of you seen…….Mircalla! Your mother is looking for you , Betty nearly fainted when she found you missing from your room ! What are you doing here with…’,she doesn’t finish the statement , but the distaste is evident in her tone ._

_Mircalla simply frowns , and waving an arm , imperiously says ‘Ingrid , go back to my mother and tell her I just went for a walk , as I needed fresh air . Do not , and I repeat , do not mention a word of where you actually found me . You will absolutely forget about this . Are we clear ?’_

_Ingrid nods , clearly terrified of Mircalla ,turns on her heels and walks away ._

_Kirsch ,J.P and Laf make excuses and melt away , not that Laurel notices . Her eyes are fixed on Mircalla’s , who she is heartened to see , looks regretful ._

_‘I should be leaving .’_

_‘I know .’_

_‘Will I see you again ?’_

_Laurel grins ‘Do you want to see me again ?’_

_Mircalla gives her an enigmatic smile ‘ I certainly do . You…..intrigue me .’_

_‘Well , then , I’ll find a way . I’m very resourceful , you see .’_

_‘I’ll hold you to it ,’ the dark-haired girl says , and walks away , taking a piece of Laurel’’s heart with her as she goes ._

 


	5. Chapter 5

2014

It’s a truth of life that no matter how strange a place may be , time makes you immune to it and eventually you get used to everything . You may not have envisioned living in a place where people get turned into animals or inanimate objects or trees on a daily basis , but after a point of time , even a failed experiment that turns everyone in the immediate vicinity to donkeys will only elicit a fond smile from you (it happened once)

Laura was slowly settling in to life at Silas U . Six months had gone by , in a whirlwind of searching for Betty , vlogging , weird science with Laf , being mothered by Perry ,and finding a footing with Carmilla . Since the huge fight a few months ago , they had formed an unusual friendship ,which was interspersed with minor disagreements (or Laura’s extreme over-reactions as Carmilla termed them , because ‘Roommates are supposed to share things , Laura ! Don’t be a pill about this .’ and ‘Using my laptop , my very private laptop is not sharing things , Jeez .’) . Generally , they argue over Carmilla’s apathetic nature . Nothing bothers her . Not the thought of a girl who has gone missing , not the idea that she might not be safe here ,and certainly not the weird déjà vu vibe they share . 

Its driving Laura crazy . Silas U may be becoming familiar , but there is something else happening to her , something that has everything to do with Carmilla and which the other girl has no interest in talking about . Not that Laura has actually tried , because she doesn’t understand it herself . She knows Carmilla is confused too , because every time they curl up on Laura’s bed to watch some T.V show and their hands touch , it makes her feel weird (she is never going to say the term “Sparks fly” , because no way , but it feels a lot like contentment and warmth and strangely enough , relief , like she’s waited a long time for this) , and it makes Carmilla look at her strangely for a few days after . But they never talk about it .

Also , the dreams . Since a few days , she’s been having strange dreams where there are a lot of bright lights , and flames and some girl who she remembers nothing about , not her face , not her voice , nothing . Sometimes she gets weird flashes of memories , she knows the girl wears Victorian ball gowns , and echoes of feelings , an almost unbearable longing , craving for the girl in the middle of the day , and it leaves her breathless .

Its baffling as hell .

_1697_

_For the rest of the evening , Laurel walks on air . Not even Kirsch’s and Laf’s teasing comments can bring her down from the high that meeting Mircalla has put her in . The whole walk home she is lost in memories of the girl , the way her lips twitch when she wants to laugh but is too dignified to do it , the fringe of her hair that she kept brushing away from her face , the sparkle in her eyes…._

_She is broken out of her thoughts by Laf who swats the back of her head , bringing her attention to the fact that they’ve arrived at her house . She waves goodbye to her friends , enters her house and tiptoes her way to her room , hoping not to wake her father up ,and she is almost there when……_

_‘Laurel ?’_

_She freezes ‘Hello ,daddy , fancy meeting you here .’_

_Her father frowns ‘Why wouldn’t I be here ?’_

_‘Oh ,no reason . This is your home . My home too . Our……our home . So , we should both be here , right ? All at the same time……it wouldn’t exactly be a coincidence , if we were here at the same time , and we were…..’_

_‘Laurel ,’her father gently interrupts her nonsensical ramble ,‘Where were you this evening ?’_

_‘Out’, she replies ._

_‘I am well aware of that .Out where ?’_

_She thinks of lying , but she’s never lied to her father before and she’s not about to start now ._

_‘Karnstein Hall .’_

_She knows how he’ll react , but it doesn’t stop her from flinching as he visibly bristles . Her father has, on many occasions , suspected the Karnstein clan to be hiding something that may disturb them from their seat of power if it ever comes to light . There have been unsolved murders and people employed by the Karnstein matriarch have gone mysteriously missing . Being only an officer does not give him the authority , or the resources to investigate into this matter , but she knows he doesn’t trust Lilita Morgan-Karnstein ._

_‘You know how I feel about that family, darling.’_

_‘I know , daddy , and I just went to , have fun . I was nowhere near Dame Karnstein , and I have no intention of going near her family.’_

_‘Promise me’, he says ._

_‘I promise.’_

_But , just in case , she crosses her toes . Because , as she retires to her bed , her mind keeps whirling around the ways she can see Mircalla again ._

2014

‘Okay  , this is ridiculous . You cannot seriously be working on a Friday .’

Laura swivels her chair around and gives Laf an indulgent smile ‘Its not work if you enjoy it .’

‘On . A . Friday .’

Perry shushes them from where she is making her bed ‘ Let her study , Laf . Its what people do to gain knowledge , get grades and become a responsible human being ,’ she throws a glance towards Carmilla’s bed , where the girl is sound asleep .

Laura’s made a promise to not be too whiney about Carmilla’s bad habits , like the sleeping till late evening , and the junk food stealing so she’s not going to say anything . Its just that , last week , Carmilla came home , threw her bag in the middle of the room and went to shower , and a paper fluttered onto Laura’s bed (Okay , so it didn’t flutter , it fell on the floor and Laura picked it up . Laura may have picked it up from Carmilla’s bed . Alright , fine , she took it from Carmilla’s bag . But only because it was half open anyway , and that’s not a very bad thing to do , and Carmilla does way more horrible things as a roommate , now shut up and stop grilling her) . Apparently her philosophy class had had a surprise quiz , and the paper was her handiwork .

It was an A- .

Now Laura doesn’t know much about the subject of philosophy  , but based on what she’s heard , it doesn’t seem too easy (actually , a friend of hers had told her it was difficult as hell because it was , like the theory of utter randomness  ,and the Philosophy professor wasn’t lenient ,either ) , and it could be just luck , or that her roommate’s a genius , but……

A freaking A- .

She’s given it a lot of thought over the past week , and decided that , given Carmilla’s habit of only cracking a book open an hour a day , the girl is a prodigy . She concludes it as being part of the mystery that is Carmilla Karnstein and tries not to think very much about it .

Her train of thought is suddenly derailed by a loud noise of ‘Hungry like the wolf ‘ that comes from Laf’s phone , which finally succeeds in rousing the sleeping girl .

‘Hey Laura ,’the Bio major says , after a phone conversation ‘There’s a zeta party tonight , some guy named Larry’s birthday or something , and we are cordially invited . You wanna come ?’

‘Okay if that was Kirsch on the phone , which I think it was , I’m pretty sure he thinks cordially is a word generally used by people who fix T.Vs , so……’

Carmilla groans , but Laura swears she sees a hint of a smile .

‘ Okay , that was all me . But there’s a party . And we don’t even have to get him a present , because his only treat is seeing hot girls and…….anyways you need to let loose for a night . Its Friday ,and nobody in college works on Friday . Its like against the laws of nature or something . You know what , its decided . Perry and I are going to leave now , to get ready and we’ll meet you in the lobby in half an hour , okay ?’

‘But I have a …’

‘PARTY !’

‘But Laf , I really need to…’

‘PARTY !’

‘Fine . Fine , we’ll party .’

‘You’re really gonna go to the Zeta party ?’Carmilla asks her after they’re gone .

‘I don’t think I have a choice , Laf would kill me otherwise . Besides it would be good for me to take a break ,’ she gets an idea ‘Hey ,you wanna join us ?’

‘To go to a celebration of the birth of a brainless individual , who I know nothing about , only to drink crap beer and get hit on by idiots ? I don’t think so , cutie . Besides , I don’t think I was invited .’

‘It’s a frat party , anybody is invited . And you’d be  , like , Larry’s best birthday present ever .’

That shouldn’t have slipped out .

Carmilla smirks and Jesus , how can such a condescending and arrogant expression look so spectacular on someone’s face ?

‘You think I’m hot ?’

‘No .’

‘Really , coz’ I could have sworn you implied I was hot .’

‘No .Shut up . You wanna come to the party or not ?’

‘Not unless you tell me I’m hot .’

Laura weighs the pros and cons (she doesn’t want Carmilla’s head to swell anymore , but she also wants to get to know her a little better )

‘I suppose your face is ……rather aesthetically pleasing to view .’

Carmilla gives her a look ‘ Not the same , but I suppose I’ll take it .’

She is not going to cheer . She is not going to cheer . Absolutely not .

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

_1697_

_A week later , Laurel sees her again . Dame Karnstein is out on a trip to the small villages around theirs to keep up with her subjects , although if her father is to be believed , its probably to exert and tighten the hold around the population and keep them from uprising . She is sitting in the shade of a tree beside Kirsch’s family shop , lazing around with Danny when she watches a carriage come into view . Honestly , its not just a carriage , it’s a whole procession . First enter two men on horses , beautiful , well bred horses , after which out of the carriage two women come out and wander around the marketplace . That’s when Laurel looks towards the small window , and there she is , the girl of her dreams , looking entirely sulky and unconcerned with everything around her ,and yet , so , so breathtaking ._

_‘That’s her ‘,she says , sitting up ._

_Danny turns her head up lazily , and straightens , too ‘You didn’t tell me you’re in love with Lady Karnstein !’_

_‘I’m not in love with her !’_

_‘Yes , you are’, Kirsch says ._

_She is not in love with Mircalla . She hardly knows anything about the other girl , except for the fact that she is the most beautiful woman in the world , that seeing her makes her feel alive , and that her smile makes Laurel feel warm inside . She just really wants to talk to her , figure out what she thinks , how her mind works . Mircalla feels like a puzzle , a puzzle that you want to solve , but not really , because you understand that there is more to it than just some pieces falling together . A puzzle that can never be completed , because you can’t bear for the entire process to be over ._

_So , absolutely not in love ._

_She emerges from her thoughts to find Danny and Kirsch both staring at her ._

_‘What ? Sorry , I was a little distracted .’_

_‘I asked if she is the one you’re smitten with ,’Danny tells her , gently ._

_‘Yes .’_

_‘God , Laurel ,’Danny explodes ‘Are you trying to make bad decisions ?She is the daughter of Dame Karnstein . You really think Dame Karnstein will let you live if you so much as look at her ? She is her heir , her only daughter . She has been planning to marry her off to some Count and now you’re…..’_

_‘I know , Danny ,’Laurel cuts her off , mid-rant , because she’s gone over this in her mind a hundred times already (and , also , because the thought of Mircalla marrying someone else makes her feel queasy) ‘I’m not asking you for your blessings . Its not like we’re getting married  . She barely knows me . I just need to get into that carriage to talk to her .’_

_Danny turns away ‘Don’t ask me for help .’_

_She looks at Kirsch , who gives a long-suffering sigh and stands up ‘Fine .’_

_And that is how , a minor accident later , which saw the horses go a little out of control (Kirsch always did have a way with animals) , which led the horse riders to lead them into the nearest shelter to calm them down , Laurel finds herself climbing into the carriage , to Mircalla’s immense surprise ._

2014

‘This was not a good idea .’

‘You think ?’Laf says to her .

When Laura invited Carmilla out to the party , she’d thought she’d get some quality time with her roomie . Instead , the dark-haired girl took one look at the scene of the party , said “So long , suckers , and wrapping an arm around one of the giggly girls who were hovering over her , sauntered away . Now Laura is watching her flirt with a girl she’s seen hanging around her room (Elsa ? Elsie ? Something like that) and sipping beer from her red solo cup angrily .

‘Whoa , frosh , you wanna slow down a bit there ?’ Laf gently asks her , trying to take her drink away .

‘Stupid , idiotic girl ,’she mutters to herself ‘Brooding all over our room , messing it up and now at the party , grabbing the first girl she sees , who by the way , that girl ? A total bi…..bad person ! But I suppose birds of a feather….’

She turns around and notices Laf staring at her , an amused smirk on their face .

‘What ?’

‘You’re jealous .’

 ‘Okay , Laf , you’re obviously drunk , so go tell your idiotic theories to somebody else .’

‘You are so jealous .’

‘Am NOT !’

‘You totally are .’

‘No , I’m not !’

They now have a shit-eating grin on their face ‘Really ? Well , then I guess you won’t mind the fact that she is currently sucking face with Elsie .’

Her head turns back to where she’d last seen Carmilla , so fast that she gets whiplash , where she _doesn’t_ see her , instead Elsie is drinking alone , looking disgruntled .

‘Ha !’,she tells Laf , without turning around ‘You lied , you liar . She isn’t there .’

‘I agree ,’she hears ‘Because she’s right here.’

Laura is sure that if she were a comic book character , the speech bubble above her head would be saying something along the lines of Uh Oh , because , that voice isn’t Laf’s .She composes her face , and turns around to face Carmilla (Apparently Laf and Perry slid away as soon as they caught sight of her)

‘Aren’t you supposed to be out there sucking face with Elsie or Piper or some other girl ?’

Carmilla makes a dismissive gesture which makes Laura feel irrationally pleased, and then makes her feel confused . As it is , she’s had enough to drink already , her brain feels a little muddled .

‘Carmilla ?’she begins hesitantly ‘I drank too much .’

Carmilla arches a brow (How does an expression that sardonic manage to look so sexy ?) mutters ‘You think ?’ , and firmly takes the cup away from her . That small movement makes Laura lose her footing and then……

Okay , she’s heard of black-outs and knows that they’re an integral part of the College Afterhours experience , but she’s never actually had it happen to her , so it kind of surprises her when she comes to and finds herself lying on a bench outside the frat building , with Carmilla’s one hand running through her hair and the other on her face .

‘Are you trying to take advantage of my intoxication ?’

‘You’re awake!’ Carmilla’s hand stills and Laura startles a little at the raw relief in her voice .

‘Aw ,’she says slowly ‘Were you worried about me?’

The dark haired girl gets her bearings and replies (in a much more subdued and neutral voice) ‘I was worried that Sasquatch might kill me if something happened to you .’

‘Please , like she scares you . You could probably smite her with a well-thought-out insult .’

Carmilla smiles , an actual , real smile and Laura feels dizzy again (it’s the drinks , nothing else) .She sits up on the bench beside the girl , with their shoulders brushing and it takes a lot for her to stop the smile making its way to her face .

‘You know ,’ she starts ‘ If this were a romantic comedy , now would be the part where you strip off your jacket and give it to me because I’m cold .’

‘Are you cold ?’ Carmilla asks , but there is a hint of teasing in her question , like an inside joke .

‘Actually , no ,’she replies , a little surprised because its generally chilly in the evenings .

‘And why do you think that is , cupcake ?’

That’s when she looks down to see that she’s already wearing Carmilla’s black leather jacket .

  _1697_

_‘Laurel ? How did you get in ?’_

_‘That is a long story , which involves Kirsch and carrots and barn animals , but I can elaborate on it later . I was wondering if you would like to go for a walk with me ?’_

_‘You barge into my carriage when I’m on an outing , possibly injure my horses and riders and  expect me to **go for a walk with you ?’**_

_Laurel gives her a sheepish look ‘Yes?’_

_Mircalla looks astounded ‘My God , who are you ?’_

_She puts on an air , and pretending to draw an imaginary sword , announces ‘My lady , I am Knight Hollis , here to rescue you from the evil clutches of a dreary life . What a terrible life you must be undergoing , attending carriage rides followed by horsemen , how tiresome and annoying ! Oh ! I cannot bear to see you in such a state . Will you not run away with me ?’_

_Mircalla smiles , and she nearly loses her footing because she has never seen a more beautiful sight in her life ._

_‘Even if I agree , I doubt my mother’s men would let me go .’_

  _‘Don’t worry about them ,’she replies , thinking of the various shenanigans Kirsch has up his sleeve ‘Can you talk your annoying maid into covering for you ? Order her to tell them you will be back in some time , and she is not to follow ?’_

_Mircalla nods , looking a little dazed (Not that Laurel doesn’t feel it too . She still cannot believe she actually had the courage) , and tells her to go wait for her near the trees which lead to the woods ._

_So Laurel goes (on the way waving goodbye to Danny who turns her face away and resolutely refuses to acknowledge her , her way of disapproval) , and stands under the shade of a tree , waiting ._

_It takes Mircalla fifteen minutes to get there , but she doesn’t mind , not when she can see the expression on her face (it’s a mixture of rebellion and freedom , and plain happiness , and Laurel feels like she will wait a thousand years just to watch that wild joy on the dark-haired girl’s face)._

_‘I apologise for the wait’ she says regally ‘My maid was being irrational . I had to remind her of who she works for , exactly .’_

_Laurel waves it aside ._

_‘You ready to escape , my lady ?’ she says , and grins , because she could never imagine herself as a Knight , and when Mircalla nods , continues ‘Then lets go for a stroll .’_

_She starts off , then realizes that the other girl hasn’t moved ._

_‘Mircalla ?’_

_‘I thought Knights were supposed to be gallant ,’ Mircalla says ‘ Will you not offer me your arm when we walk ?’_

_Laurel has to work hard to keep the blush off her face ._


	7. Chapter 7

2014

‘You wanna know what I think ?’

‘If I say no , will you stay quiet ?’

Laura considers this (it takes a bit of time , she feels kind of drunk from the beer and Carmilla’s presence) , and shakes her head .

Carmilla sighs, but it seems more amused than resigned ‘Hit me , then .’

‘It’s a great time to play Twenty Questions .’

‘Is it to late to say that I don’t wanna know what you’re thinking ?’

‘Oh come on , it’ll be fun .’

‘Famous last words .’

Laura smiles , and snuggles deeper into the jacket , which feels warm , and smells nice with just a hint of Carmilla’s perfume (why had she never noticed how nice Carmilla smelled ? Her jacket was heaven) ‘Don’t you have any questions you wanna ask me?’

‘No , actually . I don’t exactly sit around making lists of questions to ask my roommate in case I get drunk and need her to take care of me .’

Laura rolls her eyes , and decides to ignore her ‘Favorite movie ?’

‘Not playing , cutie .’

‘But Carmilla………..’ Laura whines .

‘Nope .’

‘But Carmilla………..’she whines again (her whine has won over harder people than Carmilla with its pitch and varying intensity of levels of annoyance . It took a lot of expertise to convince her dad to get her all that Doctor Who memorabilia ; so her roommate is toast)

‘No way .’

‘I’ll pay you .’

‘Really , now ?’Carmilla asks , trying to fight off a smile ‘How much ? Coz’ I’ll take a dollar per question .’

‘Done.’

‘American dollar , not Canadian .’

‘Damn it ,’Laura says , and that’s it , Carmilla bursts out laughing . Laura is struck dumb , because it’s the first time she’s ever seen her brooding roommate so carefree , and her laughter sounds like bells jingling , fireworks bursting , and its so , so wonderful (her joy sounds like a vocal manifestation of all that is beautiful in the world , and in that moment Laura vows to make the girl laugh again , all the time ) ‘So , favorite movie ?’

‘The theory of everything .’

‘How cliché , coming from a philosophy major .’

‘I suppose your favorite movie is something like “The Lion King” or something , huh ?’

‘Finding Nemo , actually ,’she says and she knows her tone sounds wistful (she doesn’t want to talk about that day at the hospital , one of the last days her mother was actively conscious and they watched that movie together three times in a loop) . Carmilla stares at her for a very long minute , but luckily doesn’t say anything .

Laura shakes off the dark mood , and asks her about her favorite novel .

‘The stranger ,by Albert Camus .’

‘Oh , cut the crap ! Just because you study philosophy doesn’t mean every one of your answers have to be……….’

‘What ? Intellectual ?’ Carmilla grins .

‘I don’t buy it . I know you guys consider yourself to be all…….highbrow , and intelligent , but this is just plain snobby . Give me a real answer ,’ when Carmilla continues smiling at her (in the most condescending manner ever , but Laura doesn’t mind , not when her smiles are so rare and so blindingly bright) , she says ‘Not a philosophical one .A real , honest-to-God great novel that you really enjoyed , and which is not about the contemplation of the insignificance of humanity in this big , big world .’

‘Ugh , fine . Keeping Faith , by Jodie Picoult .’

‘I love that book !’ Laura exclaims ‘ The incredible innocence of Faith , the way she endears herself to everybody around her , and how she finally wins over even Ian is so subtly written , and yet hits you hard .’

‘That’s not the part that got to me ,’Carmilla says , and her voice sounds melancholy (which triggers an inexplicable urge in Laura to drive it away , to wrap her in her arms , and hold her close till the sorrow passes , but she shrugs it away) ‘Its just that , Mariah never gives up on her daughter . She may have been a clueless mother at first , navigating a devastating divorce , but she loves Faith no matter what .’

Laura senses something there , but she’s not going to ask , not when Carmilla respected her privacy earlier . They sit in silence for a while , till Laura breaks it by saying ‘Harry Potter .’

‘What are you , 10 ?’

  _1697_

_‘Did he , really ?’_

_‘You don’t know Kirsch like I do .’_

_‘I suppose I don’t . I don’t exactly have a lot of opportunities to mingle with people who can convince animals to disrupt proceedings just by giving them the temptation of carrots .My world isn’t as interesting as yours is .’_

_Laurel nods thoughtfully , which makes Mircalla look at her indignantly ‘You are not supposed to agree with me !’_

_‘I’m not ?’ she asks , confused ._

_‘Its good manners to compliment someone when they talk about themselves in a self-deprecating manner ! You do not agree, no matter how pathetic you find them .’_

_‘But that would be lying .’_

_‘No , that would be making them feel better .’_

_‘But if nobody tells them how pathetic their lifestyle is , how will they ever improve it ?’_

_‘Do you think my life is pathetic ?’_

_Laurel is completely at a loss ‘I’m……confused .’_

_Mircalla smiles and her head clears up . Her smiles have that effect on her ._

_‘Don’t worry ,’the dark-girl says ‘ Its not like I don’t think of my life as extremely tiring myself .’_

_‘Is it ?’_

_‘Yes ,’ Mircalla says flatly ‘ It is full of servants and maids waiting on me hand and foot , my mother training me to become the next great housewife to some nobleman , my cousin skulking around the mansion trying to dig up dirt on me so he can convince my mother I’m not worthy of her love , not that she has any for me , and counts and dukes trying arrogantly to woo me . That is my life .’_

_That seems horrible to Laurel , but not as much as the sight of Mircalla frowning . She wants to wipe that frown away , wrap her in her arms , hold her close and make her smile again, all the time ._

_‘Have I ever told you ,’Laurel starts ponderously ‘ about the time when Laf tried to rescue a cat and got stuck on top of a tree , because they had forgotten that they were afraid of heights ?’_

_Carmilla looks up at her gratefully ‘No , you haven’t .’_

_‘Well , it started like this…………’_

2014

They’re up to fifteen questions , which included some very mundane questions and some very silly answers (‘Laura , Edward or Jacob is not a valid question’ and ‘Carmilla ! “I’m sexy and I know it” is not your favorite song , now gimme a real answer) , and Laura couldn’t have hoped for a better evening . Not a lot has changed , Carmilla is still being her brooding , sarcastic , and apathetic self , but now , her words have an undertone of amusement , fondness even . On the whole , Laura likes it . She is just about to ask Carmilla her favorite color (and she knows the reply will be inevitably black , but still….) when she hears Danny calling for her .

Okay , she loves her friends , but they have crap timing .

Carmilla turns around and glares at The Ginger Squad , as she calls them ‘What ?’

Her friends talk in garbled , simultaneous voices , and from what she puts together………

‘Why is the Dean here ?’she asks them

‘I don’t know , but Kirsch saw her and warned us . Laura , we shouldn’t be at a party , she’s the Dean , and  frat parties , not the best place to be…….’

She is almost sure Laf says something else too , but she doesn’t understand what , because she sees a black car pass by , the back windows roll down , and a pair of eyes meet her .Laf’s voice stops coming to her , she can just see her mouth moving , forming inaudible words , words she can’t understand because her head hurts , there is a ringing sound in her ears , and those eyes….

She gasps , because the look in those eyes is so malevolent , so hateful and its directed entirely towards her . Never in her life has she ever felt something so horrible , but those eyes give off an aura of evil , of everything that is wrong ,and sad , and terrible in her life .

Then she slips into a dream .

It’s the girl she’s been seeing . She is almost sure of it . She can’t see her face , but she knows . The girl is screaming , screaming loudly , and she’s sobbing , trying to reach out to her , and Laura tries to get to her too , but she can’t , because it hurts . Her whole body aches , she hurts all over , then she realizes that she is being hit , repeatedly , hard . She tries to escape the blows , looks up and sees the same eyes , looking from a distance ,calmly , coldly . So ,she tries to concentrate on the screaming girl , the girl who is saying something , something that she wishes she could comprehend . She could , but it hurts , the pain is so bad that now she starts screaming too , and at the end of her scream , she finally hears what the other girl is saying .

Laura Hollis wakes up , with a cry of ‘Laurel’ in her head  .


	8. Chapter 8

_1697_

_‘What do you do in the afternoons , when I’m not home ?’_

_‘Oh , you know . Just out , wandering .’_

_Its not technically a lie , so her father’s genuine trusting smile only twists her insides with guilt a little . She is out of the house in the afternoons , and she does a lot of wandering too . Its just that she doesn’t know if her father will approve of the fact that it is Mircalla Karnstein she is wandering with ._

_As is usual these days , the thought of the girl brings a smile to her face . They have been meeting every afternoon since the first time ,when Kirsch worked his magic with the animals , and it took some crazy convincing (and thinly veiled threatening with bodily harm) on Mircalla’s part to make her mother’s men stop following her every time , but things fell in place . Mostly because of Lafontaine ._

_That’s the other thing worth mentioning . A few days ago , Mircalla’s rude maid Ingrid fell ill , so she came to the town square with another maid named Lola Perry , prepared to have another round of convincing, but she didn’t need to . Because Lola (Oh!Sweetie , just call me Perry)saw Lafontaine playing cards with J.P and Kirsch , and fell in love . Which Laura is pretty sure was reciprocated by Laf (of course , she couldn’t be sure . Everytime Laura so much as mentions Lola in front of Laf , they get a dreamy smile on their face and makes no sense ; it’s a little frustrating) , so Mircalla is free to spend time with Laurel while Laf and Perry try to have a decent conversation without blushing . If Laurel wasn’t affected by the same syndrome whenever she is around Mircalla , she would definitely join Kirsch and Danny in making fun of them ._

_Speaking of Danny , things are a little tense on that front . Its been a month since she introduced them , and they do not like each other . Here , Laurel may be understating things a bit ; Danny loathes Mircalla , and once when Mircalla saw her chatting with Laurel by Kirsch’s shop , she snapped at Laurel all afternoon .Danny has made it very clear that she in no way supports their relationship , which would make sense if there was a relationship to support . They just walk together , and talk about their lives , and laugh and Laurel teaches Mircalla how to live , because rich people have the most routine and boring life she has ever heard of , but Laurel doesn’t know what that makes them . She supposes they could be friends , but each day she falls a little more in love with the dark-haired girl , and it gets harder and harder to contain all that she feels . She wants to hold her in her arms , look at her face all day . Wants to hold her hand , kiss her . Spend the rest of her life with her . Laurel is pretty sure you do not feel that way about just a friend of yours . Especially , a friend who is not a man ._

_Dame Karnstein has redoubled her efforts to find her daughter a husband , she has heard . There was a ball last evening at Karnstein hall , where every eligible bachelor in the area was invited (or as many as could be invited whilst being subtle) to woo Mircalla . Of course , as Mircalla told her ,they were arrogant, ugly , old and boring and she had no interest in any of them . Though this makes Laurel happy (incredibly so , that Mircalla , her darling Mircalla would much rather prefer to spend her time with her instead of searching for a husband) , it doesn’t exactly mean that she feels the same way about her . Before she can fall too deep into that thought process though , she hears her father saying something ._

_‘I’m sorry , daddy ‘she looks up into his concerned face ‘I was a little distracted .’_

_‘Are you sure there’s nothing going on with you , Laurel ? Anything I should be concerned about ?’_

_‘I’m fine .’Just fine , she thinks . There is just the minor matter of me being in love with my friend , who probably does not love me back . Her mother is searching for a groom for her , so there’s an added worry . And here’s the best part , her mother is Dame Karnstein , who can and will destroy me if she comes to know of my intentions to woo her daughter ._

_‘Fine,’ she repeats , and gets up to clear the dinner table ._

2014

The first thing she realizes after she wakes up is that her head is on someone’s lap . The cry of ‘Laurel’ is echoing through her head , and her head still throbs from the memory of the beating . She groans , and realizes its Carmilla’s lap she’s lying on .

‘Laura !’Carmilla says roughly , and cups her cheek ‘You’re okay , you’re okay , you’re safe , you’re fine.…..’

‘Where’s Laurel ?’she asks , and out of the corner of her eye , sees her friends look at each other .

Danny leans down, reaches out for her and Laura sees Carmilla scowl (even with the phantom pain , it makes her wonder)

‘Who’s Laurel ?’she asks .

‘This girl , she was calling for her………..like screaming………I , they were hitting me and it hurt , it hurt so bad……..’

Carmilla convulsively tightens her grip on Laura and looks down at her , and the expression is so worried , so pained that Laura cannot look away .

‘Who’s they ? Who was hurting you ,Laura ?’

She is just about to reply that she has no idea , when Kirsch comes running out of the frat house towards them .

‘Hey , hotties , just wanted to tell you that the coast is clear coz’ the Dean is gone and whoa , what happened to little hottie ?’

Little hottie lost her shit , blacked out twice in one night , dreamed of people beating the crap out of her , discovered that she is allergic to the Dean , may have a tiny bit of a crush on her roommate (tiny , very tiny . Miniscule . Almost non existent . Negative infinity .) , and also , who is Laurel ?

‘Nothing , Kirsch ,’she says , suddenly bone tired from all the creepierdness going on around her , with her ‘Can someone take me to my room ?’

After her friends have left , and it is mostly quiet in the room , except for the sounds of Carmilla rustling around , Laura still can’t sleep . She stares up at the ceiling , willing her brain to shut off , to stop thinking about everything that happened today , but she can still hear the screaming in her head , and the faceless , yet so unforgettable girl calling out ‘Laurel’ .

‘I can hear you thinking from over here , cupcake .’

Laura turns to her side facing her and says ‘ No way .’

‘True ,’she replies ‘However , you just confirmed it .’

‘Are you not tired ? Its like 2 am , and with everything that went down……’

Carmilla shrugs , and stays quiet .

‘Hey , Carmilla ,’Laura says ‘ What happened when I blacked out the second time ?’

The silence continues . Then abruptly , Carmilla starts speaking .

‘You collapsed to the ground when the car passed by , and looked like you were having a seizure . You were screaming , and crying for someone not to hurt you……..you were shaking , and none of us knew what to do . I didn’t know how to wake you up and…….’she trails off , and even through her confusion, Laura feels a smile coming on .She may have had the most horrible experience of her life , but at least Carmilla was worried (Laura knows that this is all kinds of pathetic , and screwed up , because her roommate is a brooding , apathetic sociopath ,who probably has no interest in her , but apparently drinking crap Zeta beer unlocks a box of repressed feelings that are something along the lines of ‘Oh , God , Carmilla is so , so wonderful and beautiful , and sexy and why , why , why did this happen to me ?’).

‘Can I ask you something ?’she says again .

‘Trying to sleep here , sweetheart .’

‘Do you know anyone named Laurel ?’

Carmilla goes still , then after a long time , turns towards the wall , and mutters ‘Go to sleep .’

_1697_

_Rich people are absolutely useless , Laurel thinks , as she watches Mircalla try to climb a tree (and fall down unceremoniously)for the sixth time . Though it is nice to see her laughing so much ._

_Today’s life lesson is climbing trees . Mircalla had absolutely refused at first (as she did every time an activity was proposed that she considered undignified) ,and it took a lot of time to convince her to try , but here they are , an hour later , with Laurel perched up on a branch watching the dark-haired girl navigate the tree while holding onto her dress ._

_‘Mircalla you need to try ,’she calls out , patiently ._

_‘I’m trying , I am !’_

_‘You might want to put at least one of your limbs on the tree for that .’_

_Mircalla looks up and scowls at her , and Laurel is so amused that she bursts out laughing ._

_To be honest , she really does not regret introducing the other girl to this game . It gives Laurel a chance to observe her without her noticing . To appreciate the strands of hair that have escaped from her usual braid , and are now stuck on her face , giving her a flustered look (not that Laurel minds . She thinks it makes her look more beautiful . Lets her natural beauty shine through) . To watch uninterrupted as she laughs every time she falls down . To fall more in love . To………_

_Oh no ._

_‘I will never be able to do this ! I give up .’_

_‘Absolutely not ,’Laurel replies , unimpressed ‘You’ll do it . My father taught me this way . You’ll get up , even if I have to carry you up myself , although that would defeat the purpose of this exercise . Now , try again .’_

_It takes another half hour , full of whines and tantrums , but somehow she manages it , and is now sitting beside Laurel , looking anywhere but down ._

_‘I did it !’_

_‘You sure did ,’ she tells Mircalla ,proud of her , and then nearly loses her balance as the girl’s body collides with her . When she regains equilibrium , she realizes that Mircalla is hugging her , smells her perfume ,revels in the sensation and nearly faints ._

_Mircalla pulls away , a blush coloring her cheeks and looks away shyly ._

_‘Thank you ,’she says formally ._

_Laurel nods , too dazed to speak ._

_‘Your father taught you how to climb trees ?’Mircalla asks , after a while , her tone sounding wistful and nostalgic . They’ve all heard of the tragic and mysterious death of Sir Karnstein , and it has been a much discussed topic in every province near their village . She guesses Mircalla was around ten or twelve when it happened , and it makes her heart ache for the girl who clearly misses him a lot but doesn’t talk about him at all ._

_‘Yes . Well , most of it . Kirsch helped out a lot too .’_

_Mircalla points towards her watch ‘My father gave this to me on my ninth birthday .It had been given to him by my grandmother , because she said that she was proud to have a child like him . My father said the same to me , when he gave me this .’_

_She looks away ._

_‘It doesn’t go away , does it ?’Laurel asks her , not really expecting an answer (she knows a lot about how it hurts , about the pain that can never stop , just forced down till it comes to the forefront again)._

_Mircalla nods , still staring off into the distance . Laurel hates seeing her in pain , because it hurts her too . It makes her heart clench .She fingers the watch and says the first thing that comes to mind ._

_‘Stupid son of the Count of Noreau .’_

_Remembering the ball where they first met , Mircalla’s lips twitch upwards . Its not quite a smile , but Laurel will take it . She smiles ,and the pain in her heart finally ceases when she feels a hand slide into hers , and Mircalla’s entwines her fingers with Laurel’s ._


	9. Chapter 9

2014

‘Good morning , gentle viewers , and welcome to The Laura Hollis show , where we focus on mysteries of missing roommates , weird occurrences , and disturbing dreams , or , just another day at Silas University . Today we will be joined by special guests – Lafontaine , Perry , Danny , and Wilson Kirsch . Say hi , guys .’

‘Everybody knows us , Laura .’

‘Don’t call me Wilson , its embarrassing , little hottie .’

‘Who invited the idiot ?’

She is never having all of them together again . She hasn’t even started her video and already Kirsch and Danny look like they are going to rip each other’s throats out . In fact the only thing that could make this even more wonderful is if……….

‘Was all the alliteration a coincidence or were you actively trying to annoy me ?’

Right . That .

‘Oh , joy ,’Danny says ‘Look who’s joining us.’

Carmilla slowly gets up , shakes the sheets off her , and gives Danny a sarcastic smile .Then she takes in the sight of all of them sitting around her laptop , and turns to Laura .

‘What the hell ? You were at the auditorium yesterday , weren’t you ?’

About that . Yesterday , a meeting was announced in the school auditorium to ‘discuss potentially harmful and maligning videos put up on the Silas webpage , by some particular individual whose only purpose seems to be causing uproar’ . Laura would have attended it , but the thought of facing the Dean again after what happened last time made her skin crawl , so instead she sat backstage , hidden by some curtains , and listened to the list of punishments that were going to be doled out to the miscreant , if caught .

‘Oh ,come on,’she tells Carmilla ‘What she said yesterday is no different from what high school teachers have been telling students for ages .’

Carmilla shrugs ‘Your funeral .’

Laura turns back to the camera ‘So , anyway , back to what we were discussing . To recap , Betty went missing months ago . Last time anybody saw her was at a Zeta party , where she kept saying ‘I remember’ over and over again . Now , to bring you up to date on recent occurrences , we finally got a glimpse of the mysterious and elusive Dean two evenings ago , when she passed by in her car during a frat party .’

‘And when the Dean looked at her ,Laura went into a dead faint , started seizing and crying , and begging someone to stop hurting her ,’Danny continued , sounding a little shaken herself(she guesses it must have looked as bad as it felt living it) .

‘Then Laura woke up and started blabbing about someone named Laurel,’ Lafontaine picks up ‘Which , if I’m going to be the voice of reason , sounds an awful lot like Laura . Anybody ever think of that ? I mean , you were dreaming , probably hallucinating , and you heard a girl scream out Laurel while you were being beaten up . I’m just saying , maybe you heard it wrong .’

‘Even if I heard it wrong , why would the girl call out my name ?’

‘It was your subconscious , or something ,’Kirsch says , and then blushes as everyone turns to look at him in disbelief ‘ What , I do pay attention in class sometimes .’

‘See ,’ Perry speaks out for the first time , sitting up from where she was snuggling into Laf’s shoulder ‘ There is a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this .’

Now she is the one being looked at with disbelief ‘ Perry ?’Laura starts ‘ Betty is still missing . And I have no idea why seeing the Dean made me have that extremely horrible dream . And there is something strange going on here that we don’t know about , but its making the campus unsafe . And I am going to get to the bottom of this .’

Needless to say , with all the speculations floating around , they can’t decide on a good course of action . After discussing a few more options , they slowly filter out of the room , making Laura promise not to do anything rash . That leaves just her and Carmilla (who was pretending to ignore them but Laura was like 99% sure she was paying close attention)in the room . She turns to her .

‘What do you think ?’

‘About ?’

‘I know you were listening , okay ? What do you think we should do ?’

‘Forget about the whole thing and go to sleep .’

‘Not an option , Carmilla .’

The dark-haired girl shrugs ‘I can’t help you then, cutie .’

Shocker . Laura swivels in her chair , thinking of things that could be , things she can do . She thinks of research , but the library is a rather murderous place , and Danny would kill her if she found out (although that is a good idea , she’ll think about it later) . She thinks of interviewing the Zeta bro who was with Betty that night , again , but then she doubts he could be any help . Then , a rather reasonable idea occurs to her .

‘The Dean !’she exclaims loudly , forgetting in her eureka moment ‘ I could tail her !’

For all her talks of being unaffected , cool and apathetic , Carmilla is a sight when actually disturbed .She jumps up , and grabs Laura’s chair to make it face her .

‘Absolutely not !’she all but roars in Laura’s face .

‘That got a reaction ,’Laura stammers out , startled .

‘You are not going near her . You do remember what happened last time you two were in close proximity , don’t you ?’

‘I’m just gonna look her up . Follow her around a bit . Besides , maybe that fit incident was just a one-off .’

‘You’re not going near her at all ,’Carmilla says , her voice sounding panicked .

‘She’ll never find out .’

‘For the last time , you don’t know her .’

‘And you’re an expert , aren’t you ?’

Carmilla chuckles bitterly (it makes Laura cringe).

‘I am,’ she says , all the fight gone out of her ‘After all ,she’s my mother .’

_1697_

_‘I hope this works .’_

_Beside her , Laf makes an irritated noise ‘This is the seventh time you’ve said that .’_

_‘Forgive me if I don’t have the same trust on Betty as you do .’_

_‘She is a reliable person , who happens to be a friend of Perry’s . You should trust her too .’_

_Laurel is a little jittery . Part of it has something to do with the fact that she hasn’t seen Mircalla in over a week(she and her mother were taking tours around the provinces together to show that the Karnstein family was united or something ; it was an attempt to garner more support) and the rest of it is because of their plan to break into Karnstein hall in the middle of the night . Their very foolhardy plan . Their possibly-might-get-them-killed-so-sorry-daddy plan ._

_There is a rustling in the bushes infront of them , and she clutches at Laf tightly , terrified , till they tell her its only Betty ._

_‘Sorry I scared you ,’Betty says anxiously ‘ Are you alright , Laurel ?’_

_It takes Laurel those eight words to decide she likes Betty . She straightens up , and extends a hand ‘I’m Laurel Hollis . Nice to meet you , Betty .’_

_‘Me too . Mircalla talks an awful lot about you . I feel like I know you already . I’m Elizabeth Spielsdorf , daughter of General Spielsdorf ,and a friend of Mircalla’s .’_

_After a bit of small talk (which mostly involves Lafontaine asking about Perry’s state of being) , she leaves them in the garden and follows Betty carefully inside Karnstein Hall , up the grand staircase and stands in front of Mircalla’s bed-chambers ._

_‘Go on in , she’s expecting you ,’Betty says to her , but Laurel freezes , her feet refusing to move . Its not nerves , its not nerves , its not…_

_Alright , its nerves .But you can’t blame her . Its been a week of Mircalla withdrawal , and its made her want to see her so much that now , she can’t physically move . Did she miss her too ? Think about her as much as she thought about Mircalla ?_

_Betty nudges her again , and she finally opens the door , and walks in ._

_Its really unfair of her heart to beat this fast when she sees her . Mircalla is as beautiful as ever , or maybe more , because she’s seeing her after what feels like ages , but her heart is going crazy in her chest , and her stomach is filled with butterflies and she is just so overwhelmed that she cannot breathe ._

_‘Laurel ,’Mircalla breathes out , and stands up from her seat near the fireplace ._

_She knows she should say something . But really , the only thing going on in her head is how wonderful her voice sounds , the rasping voice that makes it sound like she just woke up , and Laurel never wants to not see her for such a long period of time again ._

_‘I missed you ,’she says , because she did . To be honest , that doesn’t feel enough . It felt like Laurel was missing from  herself ._

_Mircalla smiles , and then shyly , leans in and kisses her cheek ._

_Laurel Hollis (1679-1697) – Good daughter . Died of overload of emotions after receiving a kiss on the cheek from Mircalla Karnstein . She will be missed ._

2014

‘What ?’

‘I said , she is my mother .’

Laura collapses back against the chair she is sitting on ‘But…..how , I……’

‘I was adopted when I was 6 .’

‘Do you know what she did to me , that night ,then ?’

‘No ,’Carmilla replies ‘But I do know that she is not somebody you want to mess with ;Cupcake , please , please stay away from her , she’s……dangerous .’

‘How ?’Laura questions , hopeful of finally getting some answers ‘How is she dangerous ?Carmilla , you have to know something…………’

‘I don’t . I really don’t . When she wasn’t actively trying to ruin my life or hurting me , she never let me wander around the house , and there were a lot of rooms kept locked up that I wasn’t allowed into , but I’ve heard her conversations with some people , and please don’t go near her .’

Carmilla sounds desperate now , and Laura nods , too overwhelmed to speak .

‘On one condition though ,’she says , after she finds her voice ‘You tell me everything you know about her .’

‘No .’

‘Yes . If there is anything this conversation has convinced me of , its that she is the reason behind a lot of the weird things that have been happening around here , and now I am absolutely determined to get to the bottom of this .’

To summarize the things she knows –

a)The Dean is the key to all the strange occurrences .

b)She is Carmilla’s mother

c)She is very dangerous

d)There is a part of Carmilla that cares about her (why would she try so hard to protect her from her mother otherwise ?)

Would it be really stupid of her to say that the first three things don’t affect her as much as the last one does?


	10. Chapter 10

_1697_

_‘You will not believe what happened yesterday at the Abbenhaus’ ball .’_

_Laurel opens an eye and swivels it around till she sees Mircalla lying next to her and absently playing with a blade of grass .She raises an eyebrow , and the other girl launches into her story ._

_‘Every young man we talked to , my mother literally forced me to dance with . Even that I’ve gotten used to after all the parties she has been throwing me nowadays , but yesterday she made me waltz with Count Lorrimer ,’Mircalla pauses here to take a deep breath , and Laurel winces (because , one , everybody has heard of Lewd Lorrimer , the man is notorious for his way of behaving with women and two , it is the only thing she can do that comes closest to express the fury she feels towards Dame Karnstein for treating her daughter like a possession) ‘All the time I felt like he was undressing me with his eyes , and I can’t even talk about how disgusted I felt interacting with him .’_

_‘Your mother seems pretty eager to marry you off , huh ?’_

_‘I don’t know what’s wrong with her ,’Mircalla replies , sounding confused ‘She talks of my future marriage all the time , and when she isn’t , she talks with these strange men in whispers in the secluded parts of our house . Sometimes I can hear chanting coming from there , and it sounds like some rituals are taking place . Its most unusual .’_

_Rituals ? Chanting ? Dame Karnstein may be guilty of many wrongdoings , but dealing in witchcraft doesn’t seem to be one of them . She looks at Mircalla’s puzzled countenance and tries to take her mind off it ._

_‘Parties are so tiresome . All that dancing .’_

_Mircalla sits up so fast it makes her eyes roll up into her skull ‘What do you mean “Dancing is tiresome”?’_

_‘That is not exactly what I……you like waltzing ?’_

_‘Of course I do ! Don’t you ?’_

_Laurel thinks of the foolish dance steps Kirsch ,Lafontaine , and J.P always did with her when they pulled off another prank on Danny and decides against telling Mircalla of her dancing experience ‘I don’t know how to waltz .’_

_The dark-haired girl looks so shocked it makes her feel like not having knowledge of waltzing is right down there will murder of innocent puppies ._

_‘This is unacceptable ,’Mircalla mutters , getting up and brushing the dirt from her skirts . She leans down and extends a hand towards Laurel ‘Get up .’_

_Laurel has to repress a smile at how bossy Mircalla is being . She takes her hand and stands in front of her ._

_‘What ?’_

_‘Now , you put your hand on my shoulder , closer , **closer , Laurel** ,’she orders her , and Laurel blushes at their proximity ‘Other hand in mine , yes , like that .Face to face ,chest to chest . Now move with me . My foot forward , yours back .’_

_Mircalla twirls her around , and Laurel stops with her face extremely close to hers ._

_So close , that she can see the slow blink of her eyelashes as Mircalla’s eyes stare into hers . She takes it all in greedily . The view of the face she sees every time she closes her eyes for the last five months . Those intense eyes , dark brown and so mesmerizing . Her soft , pink , inviting lips .The lock of hair , fallen over her forehead , which fills her with an uncontrollable urge to brush it off . So she does ._

_Mircalla turns red , and in that moment , Laurel feels so much she’s surprised her heart hasn’t burst with the intensity of it all . She is so much in love with this girl , this girl who rode in a carriage a while back and has stolen her heart , and she may never have it back (not that Laurel minds) . She loves Mircalla, loves her formal and guarded way of talking , loves her smile , the way she looks when she talks of freedom , even the manner in which she gets angry seems adorable to Laurel . She would die for Mircalla , and it seems like she was created for her . It doesn’t matter whether Mircalla loves her back or not , her heart will always belong to the dark-haired girl ._

_All of this goes through her head , in a minute , and she cannot hold back her feelings any longer . Its time ._

_‘Mircalla ?’she begins , hesitantly , terrified ‘ I need to tell you something .’_

2014

‘Somehow , when you told me I was going to be interrogated about my mother , I didn’t anticipate these questions .’

It’s a week after the big reveal , and today Laura finally got time to ask the questions about the Dean (the Lit and Journalism papers had to be completed : you’d think that if a girl was solving the mystery of a missing roommate , she would be exempt from mundane things like papers and classes , but no) , and she did get in few inquiries that got no answer , but then she remembered that they’d never finished the game at the party , so she got distracted .

‘Favorite singer ?’she asks again .

‘Why don’t you tell me yours first , if its One Direction or Taylor Swift .’

‘Its not ,’Laurel mutters , guiltily thinking of the online order she’d placed for 1989 yesterday ‘I like Bryan Adams and Ronan Keating .’

‘Laura .’

‘That’s it ,’she replies .

Carmilla looks at her steadily , her gaze unwavering ‘ _Laura .’_

‘Ugh , fine . I like Taylor Swift too .’

Carmilla gives her an amused smile ,and says ‘Eagles and Ella Fitzgerald .’

And the game continues .

‘What a load of rubbish ,’Carmilla is saying half an hour later later , contemptuously ‘Modern forms of dancing can never measure up to the grace and beauty of classical forms that were in vogue decades ago .’

‘Sure , grandma ,’Laura teases , and Carmilla makes a face at her .

‘I’m just saying , the art of waltzing looks easy but is pretty hard to pull off . It takes dedication .’

‘I wouldn’t know . The only lessons my dad signed me up for were Krav Maga .’

‘You think I had lessons ? I just picked up a few things from places and people .’

‘No way you can waltz ,’Laura challenges (because she knows Carmilla is not one to back down)

Carmilla extends her hand , and she takes it .

‘Partners are face to face . Chest to chest ,’she says , and Laura feels a little dizzy (from Carmilla’s proximity , from her voice , but more from the feeling she gets when she hears those words , like she’s heard them before , in a distant memory) . Carmilla rests one of her hands on her waist , and she feels faint .

Yeah , that tiny crush ? May have grown . Like , a little more .

She twirls Laura around once and brings her back , so their faces are inches apart and she can look into her eyes , and they are really , really deep , and mesmerising and okay , that’s it , no more channeling Taylor Swift . But they really are the most wonderful shade of brown . She’s got long eyelashes , which flutter rhythmically with every slow blink of her eyes , and Laura never thought that a simple act of blinking could enchant her so much .

‘Like I said ,’Carmilla murmurs ‘Waltzing was a work of art . Wonderful . Graceful…….’

‘Beautiful ,’Laura adds , but she’s not talking about waltzing anymore (and she thinks Carmilla knows it)

‘Beautiful ,’Carmilla repeats , her voice low (yep , definitely knows it) .

Then ,the dark haired girl steps away abruptly , and turns around to face her bed .

‘Carmilla ?’she questions .

‘I………… I should go . I’ve got stuff to do . Major stuff .’

With that , she is gone .

Laura collapses on her bed .

Worst . Crush . Ever .

_1697_

_‘Somehow , when you said you were going to tell me something , I did not anticipate five minutes of complete silence from you .’_

_Laurel apologizes , but still can’t bring herself to speak (after all , it’s a delicate matter . She doesn’t want to rush a proposal) ,so the silence continues ._

_‘Laurel ?’_

_‘Just give me a moment .’_

_After another ten minutes , she has finally decided where to start , and how to say what she has to say ._

_‘Mircalla ,’she starts ‘We’ve been friends for a some time now…..’_

_‘Five months , one week , and two days ,’Mircalla interrupts her , and she feels irrationally pleased that the other girl remembers ._

_‘Like I said , we’ve been friends for a while now , and you already know that the first day we met , I was at the ball only to meet you…..’_

_This can go two ways . Either Mircalla loves her too (which would be a miracle) and she reciprocates the feeling , or she doesn’t feel the same way , in which case , heartbreak awaits . Heartbreak. That term has always puzzled Laurel ._

_‘The first time I saw you was at the marketplace , and I thought you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen .But then we became friends and I realized that your beauty wasn’t just limited to your appearances . You were lovely , both inside and out . You were guarded , but so , so  kind and passionate once you let those walls down . The way you think , the way you smile…..’_

_Love was the most wonderful feeling in the world . The pain of heartbreak could not be compared to the absolute joy of loving someone . Surely , love couldn’t hurt ._

_‘You’re my friend ,my closest one yet , who sees all of me , who respects all of me , but lately , its begun to feel like that isn’t enough …’_

_She isn’t looking at Mircalla now , too scared of her reaction to face her . Instead , she soldiers on recklessly ._

_‘I suppose , what I’m trying to say is , Mircalla , that I love you . Not just as a friend . I love you , like a suitor . I want to court you . I want to hold your hand , embrace you , kiss you , and even though its unheard of here , marry you . I don’t think it would be lawful , but it wouldn’t matter to me , as long as I get to call you mine . Not that you belong to me….just…..I apologize , forgive me . I may not be very rich , or very powerful , but Mircalla , I love you . I adore you . I will do everything in my power to keep you safe and happy , and…’_

_She was wrong . About heartbreak ._

_She chances a look up to Mircalla’s face , and something in her chest cracks when she sees tears , and not the happy ones ._

_‘I can’t,’the girl says , and she sounds broken ‘I can’t…….my mother……I just can’t .’_

_‘Mircalla…….,’Laurel mutters ,tries to touch her shoulder , and is shaken off ._

**_Crack ._ **

_Mircalla gives Laurel one last desperate look , before she turns around abruptly , and runs away ._

_Laurel watches her go , confused , agonized , devastated ._

**_Crack ._ **


	11. Chapter 11

2014

Things change after the dance .

Not a lot , but they do .

Slowly , so slowly ,that Laura doesn’t realize what’s happened until one day Carmilla comes home from her classes (yes , she actually goes sometimes !) and instead of going out in some skimpy outfit to score girls , she takes a shower and curls up on Laura’s bed to watch another episode of Pretty Little Liars (which is another occasion . Usually when that show comes on , its all comments like ‘Emily is adventurous, Spencer is smart , Hanna is ballsy and Aria is…..there’ or ‘Its been five fucking seasons , ladies , seriously , switch your fucking phones off before going on a super-secret mission checking out a house’) . Then she looks at Carmilla watching quietly , and thinks of all the times that Carmilla has made her hot chocolate , brought her coffee and replaced her stash of cookies . The times they played Twenty Questions (which , by the way has long past extended twenty questions) instead of Carmilla going off on her mysterious errands . The way their conversations now have an undertone of fond teasing instead of the earlier outright irritation and sarcasm . Then it hits her .

They’re   _friends_ now .

She must look strange like this , she thinks , sitting up straight after a surprised gasp , because Carmilla asks her ‘What , cupcake ? Is this you having an Eureka moment again ? Because I’m pretty sure Aria is too dumb to be A .’

 ‘I said that once , Carm . Once !’

If Carmilla notices the nickname , she doesn’t say anything . Instead she sinks back into Laura’s yellow pillow , and asks her what all that was about .

‘Nothing ,’Laura reassures her ‘Just thinking about the insane amount of homework I have waiting for me this weekend .’

Its not like its all that surprising . Its been more than six months since they met , three months since they became polite to each other and a month since the Zeta party . This was bound to happen sooner or later . What shouldn’t have happened , was the ridiculous crush she had on her roommate . Now that she’d finally realized it for what it was , it was almost impossible to quell down the daydreams and fantasies running through her mind all the time (it was insane , the number of ways in which she’d imagined kissing Carmilla , the scenarios she’d pictured of Carmilla professing her undying love for her , which included airports , the top of the tallest building of Silas university or fireworks . Honestly , it was a little embarrassing how much her mind borrowed from Harry Potter fanfics) . A whole week full of assignments awaited her , and yet all she could think about was how adorable the dark-haired girl looked when she slept , how beautiful her smile was when not tinged with sarcasm and how sexy her whole mysterious , brooding persona actually was when almost all of it was directed entirely towards her .

Since the time she found out about the Dean , Carmilla had amped up her flirting . She usually did that every time Laura mentioned her mother (which Laura totally knew was to distract her , but every time Carmilla leaned over to whisper in her ear during one of her videos , or shot her a sexy smirk , her brain turned into a puddle of smitten mush) .It was most annoying . You’d think a smart , independent girl like Laura could stop acting like Carmilla’s study buddies , but all it took was a brush of her hand against Laura’s shoulder and it would take everything she had not to swoon . Or faint .

The thought of fainting made her remember another question about the Dean so ,she nudged the girl next to her . When Carmilla didn’t say anything , she called her name . When even that didn’t get her a reply , Laura turned to the girl sitting next to her to see that she’d fallen asleep watching A kick the butts of the liars .

For all of her tough , badass exterior , Carmilla looked pretty defenseless when asleep . Her frown disappeared , and the hair covering her eyes made her look unguarded . Laura knows its wrong to stare at someone when they’re sleeping (no matter how romantic Twilight made it sound) , but she couldn’t look away . It was one of the rare occasions she got to observe the other girl freely , admire her chiseled , artistic features , her perfect looks . She indulges herself for another minute , then decides its time to wake her roommate up .

Eventually .

  _1697_

_Laurel tries to spend all of her time sleeping ._

_When she sleeps , she dreams . Dreams of a world where she’s happy . Where Mircalla loves her back . Where she gets to stare at Mircalla’s face for extended periods of time , gets to kiss her , hold her , call Mircalla hers . Where they live together . In a small house on top of a hill , like Mircalla has always wanted . Where she can breathe without going to pieces ._

_She knows her father worries . Has been concerned ever since they came to the capital , and Laurel showed no interest in going out to the huge marketplace , instead giving him a weak ‘I’m tired , Daddy , maybe later’ and telling him to go take care of business .Its been three weeks since they came here (there had been an earthquake , and Edwin Hollis , along with two of his colleagues had been called here to restore order) , and when Laurel wasn’t helping people find their loved ones , she was sleeping ._

_What was the point of being awake , if all consciousness brought was pain and heartbreak ? When every breath ripped her apart , when every time her heart beat , what pumped through her veins wasn’t blood , but empty echoes of Mircalla’s name . When living started to hurt . When she could feel Mircalla’s absence like a phantom limb , the memory of her laughter , her features, her eyes running through her head at inopportune times , leaving her gasping for air , trying to hold in her sobs , because she missed the girl so much . So much it hurt ._

_Sometimes she wonders if the other girl even thinks of her . Misses her with just one thousandth of the intensity of which Laurel needs her presence .The way Laurel craves her with a passion that leaves her breathless . The exact same way the snake-bitten craves medicine , because he knows it will bring him relief and reprieve from the pain . Then she shakes off those thoughts . There is no point to imagining what can never be , she thinks , recalling the look on Mircalla’s face as she ran away . The tears in her eyes ._

_There is a tap on her shoulder , and she turns away from the sky she was staring at to see her father standing awkwardly behind her ._

_‘Daddy ?’_

_‘Just wanted to come tell you………most of the work here’s done . Carmicheal promised me he’d get the rest of it done , helping the people her , so we’re free to leave . We can go back home tomorrow . That’s what you wanted , right , darling?’_

_She manages a weak smile for her father , and after he leaves , collapses inwards . Home , she ponders . What’s home now if not streets filled with the ghost of the girl she loves , but who doesn’t feel the same way ?_

2014

Laura has never thought of fire as scary . Its one of the basic elements , it destroys and kills , but she’d always considered it kind of cool . She knows people who are terrified of fire are called pyrophobics , but she’s personally never had any experience with the matter .

So it kind of scares the crap out of her when Carmilla collapses in the theatre building .

It started with Lafontaine , who said they needed to get some supplies from under the Lustig to check what it was in the grass that was causing the ground to become a swamp every time a member of the Glee club passed by . So they asked Kirsch to come help them move the big boulders at the gateway , and Laura accompanied them , because she was always up for some adventure . Carmilla accompanied Laura because she was getting tired of Laura whining at her all day (Once! She had asked once!) and that resulted in the three of them helping Laf (two of them helping Laf ; Carmilla just leaned against the arched gates looking all sexy and brooding) . Then , after the expedition , Kirsch had noticed that the Theatre department were doing a rehearsal of their annual show of Twelfth Night and insisted they stay and watch (for such a bro , he was pretty interested in the arts) . It would have been fun if the guy playing Sebastian hadn’t been an expert on fire-eating and had found some old equipment while he was fooling around .

All in all , next thing she knew , Carmilla’s eyes had rolled up into their sockets , and she had fainted , but not before shaking , and shivering , and muttering something that sounded suspiciously like ‘It hurts’ or ‘It burns’ over and over .

It broke her heart . It wasn’t just the words Carmilla was saying , but the fact that she was saying them at all . The dark-haired girl was the bravest person she knew . It hurt , watching her . Made her want to hold her , and comfort her , and tell her everything was gonna be alright .

They tried to revive her , but she just snuggled deeper into Kirsch’s arms (who was carrying her back to room 307) and went to sleep .

After Laf and Kirsch had left , Laura sat on the floor beside Carmilla’s head , watching her sleeping face , hearing her deep breaths , reassuring herself that she was fine . It was strange , the protective urge that was coming over her all the time when it came to Carmilla . The way she wanted to shield her from all harm in the world , from her mother . The unmanageable way , in which she felt like touching the girl all the time , to make sure she was alright , that she was real . The way she felt like she was falling…..

Carmilla’s features twisted in her sleep .

‘Carm ?’she said , softly .

Carmilla moaned , and agony washed across her face , as she battled the monsters in her sleep .

‘Hey ,wake up , its just me .’

‘No , no , mother , please ,’Carmilla muttered , and Laurel felt hate for the Dean wash over her .

‘Its okay , you’re safe , Carm , honey , wake up .’

Her eyes suddenly open , and she flinches away from Laura in her sleep . Then she realizes her surroundings , and looks up at her , and Laura wants to gasp , because the only thing she can see on Carmilla’s face is adoration . Complete , utter adoration . Then , the sleeping girl opens her mouth .

‘Laurel ,’she says , once and goes back to sleep , leaving Laura to wonder what in the world is happening to her .


	12. Chapter 12

_1697_

_‘You need to get out of bed .’_

_‘I do get out of bed .’_

_‘When your father isn’t home , that is .’_

_Laurel turns over , and as impossible as it is , buries herself deeper into her blankets  , silently willing the voices to go away , although she knows that will never happen . Her friend is almost as stubborn and tenacious as she is ._

_‘Laur ,’Laf says ‘ You need to get up . Its been a month .’_

_29 days , actually . She would know . She keeps count . One day down . One more day of no Mircalla . She tries to count down to a moment that she doesn’t know will actually arrive . When the thought of the girl wouldn’t rip her into pieces . When time would finally heal a broken heart . When she could restart her life ._

_Through her retrospection , she hears the faint sound of Laf leaving the room , and the door closing behind them . One more day ._

_Its another three days before Kirsch comes . She hasn’t been out of her house since they came back , just preparing food for herself and her father ,putting on a brave front for him , and then going back to her room to cry in peace , so it isn’t that big a surprise , Kirsch coming . She assumes its to drag her out of bed , and she isn’t wrong . What surprises her is the fact that Kirsch doesn’t sound low , or sad , or sympathetic , which was all she had been hearing from Laf since that day . He sounds………strangely excited , and Laurel is a tad bit offended that his cheerful persona couldn’t be affected a little bit by her depression . Some friend ._

_‘Get up .’_

_‘Laf already tried ,’she groans out , her eyes squinting against the bright sunlight coming in through the windows whose curtains Kirsch is pushing aside ._

_‘I know . You’re going to get out of your bed even if I have to carry you myself .’_

_‘Leave me alone ,’she replies weakly ._

_‘Oh , come on Laurel . There is someplace I’m taking you .’_

_‘I’d like to see you try ,’she sneers (or at least her weak , heartbroken version of it) ._

_‘Do not underestimate my tenacity .’_

_‘You mean your pigheadedness ?’she says , and when she gets no reply , assumes she has won . He will probably leave after a few minutes and leave her in peace ._

_She assumes wrong ._

_(NO ! Put me DOWN , Kirsch !Right now !)_

_With Kirsch body blocking her from sprinting up and back to her room , she reluctantly eats , then at his insistence changes into something that doesn’t smell like bed and three day old sweat to ‘go out somewhere’ . She agrees with poor grace , and for the first time in so many days , steps out onto the streets of their village ._

_Its bright . And the same . If this was intended to be some kind of wake-up call that showed her what she was missing out on , it wasn’t going to work ._

_Its another five minutes into their journey , when Laurel finally realizes where he’s heading , and she stops in her tracks ._

_No ._

_She turns around and starts walking away , barely keeping from sprinting ._

_‘Laurel !’she hears Kirsch shout out , then hears the sound of his steps . He grabs her arm , and she shakes it off , eyes blinded by tears of fury and betrayal and plain hurt ._

_How dare he ? How dare he take her to the riverside , the very place where Mircalla broke her heart , destroyed her ,and still expect her to stay there all for the sake of a life lesson ?_

_He’s caught up now , and panting , he makes her stop ‘Laur , wait . Wait , let me explain .’_

_‘Explain what ?’she faces him , and is pleased to find him flinching from the intensity of her anger ._

_‘Just wait for ten more minutes and you’ll understand……’_

_‘I can’t stay her for one minute , let alone ten ,’she screams at him , and hears her voice crack (apparently , you can still cry even after weeks and weeks of doing exactly nothing else) ‘I can’t stay for a moment in that place . Its full of her . You see that tree right there ? I taught her to climb it and up on that branch , she hugged me for the first time . That clearing over there , she taught me to waltz . Kissed my cheek . I told her I loved her , and she…’her voice chokes up ,at the end , and she feels Kirsch clumsily pull her into a hug . She buries her face into his chest , and starts sobbing ‘She ran away , Kirsch .She left me .’_

_She lets out a few choked sobs , and then realizes that she has no more tears left to shed as she’s pretty dehydrated .She extracts herself from his hug , and apologizes for all the tears on his shirt ._

_‘I’m sorry ,’is his reply to her apology ‘I’m sorry you’re hurting , and I’m sorry it doesn’t seem to be getting better .I’m sorry she did what she did , and I’m sorry she broke your heart . I’m also sorry for what I’m making you do right now , but believe me ,Laurel , its imperative you come with me .’_

_Too drained to object , she wearily follows him to stand in the shade of a tree . Kirsch seems to be waiting for something , or someone ._

_‘What ?’she asks , after she catches him looking checking over the road for the hundredth time ._

_‘There’s someone coming to meet you .’_

_‘Danny’s already been to my house this week , Kirsch .’_

_‘Its not Danny ,’he replies , and unbelievably he’s smiling ._

_Laurel turns to him , to chasise him for being happy in the face of her pain , just in time for him to tell her its time ._

_‘I need to be going ,’he says , and she knows the surprise and confusion on her face must look like gold , because he chuckles , and tells her to thank him later ._

_‘Thank you for what ? Kirsch , what are you…..’she starts and abruptly stops talking , because she’s finally seen who he was waiting for ._

_Striding along the road , almost running , is Mircalla ._

2014

‘You stayed here all night ?’

She turns her head to face Carmilla , stretches out her neck to get the kinks out (sitting up all night, not a good idea) ,and sees her roommate staring sleepily confused at her .

‘Yeah .I didn’t know if you were okay , and what if you had bad dreams in the middle of the night and hurt yourself flailing about ?’

‘I don’t flail about!’ Carmilla tells her as if the idea is ridiculous . Although there is something else in her voice , something she can’t put her finger on . Laura looks more carefully at her , sees her head ducked down , and knows what it is .

Carmilla is blushing . And trying not to smile .

Why would she……?

Oh .

Then she tries not to blush . She doesn’t have much experience in these matters , but if she’s not wrong , Carmilla is pleased at the idea of Laura caring about her , and trying not to show it .

Please don’t let her be wrong .

Affording herself a moment to feel happy , Laura turns her head to business .

‘Can we talk ?’

‘Give me a minute to wake up , cupcake ,’Carmilla snarks (obviously it doesn’t take her a lot of time to switch between moods) , gets up , and trudges to the bathroom .

Fifteen minutes later , Carmilla looks presentable enough that Laura broaches the topic of the-night-before .

‘You called me Laurel ,’she starts right off , hoping to surprise her roommate into a confession (confession of what , she doesn’t know :But she is tired of the confusion and all the loose ends floating around her , and she needs answers) .

‘I have literally no idea what you’re talking about ,’Carmilla replies , and she sounds like she means it , which throws her off the bat .

‘You called me Laurel . Last night . When you woke up after a nightmare .’

‘I didn’t wake up last night .’

‘Yes , you did !’Laura says , frustrated ‘ You woke up and looked at me like…..you called me Laurel and I have no idea why !’

‘Ugh , tone it down , Mariah Carey .Your voice is giving me a hangover and I didn’t even drink last night . Now , I hate quoting one of the gingers , but maybe you heard it wrong or something .’

‘I know what I heard ,’she tells Carmilla , and she knows she sounds like a petulant child , but she keeps going ‘Aren’t you even the least bit curious as to why I would hear the same name twice , once in my dreams and once from your mouth ?’

Carmilla raises her eyebrow .

‘I guess the answer is no .’

‘And I guess you can read minds .’

‘I wish I could . At least I could know if you’re dreaming about the girl too .’

A guarded look comes into Carmilla’s eyes , and Laura jumps out of the chair she’s sitting on .

‘Oh my God! You’re dreaming about a girl !’

‘No , I’m not . You’re obviously going crazy , creampuff ,’her roommate is quick to protest , but the part of Laura that prides herself on being a great investigative reporter can clearly see that she’s lying .So she keeps staring at Carmilla in a way that she thinks says ‘I know’ .

Carmilla doesn’t respond.

(She needs to work on that look)

So she tries to appeal to Carmilla’s better nature (Ha!) ‘Carmilla , I really , really need you to tell me about the girl in your dreams .’

‘No idea what you’re talking about , cutie .’

‘I mean , what if we’re having the same dreams about the same girl ? Maybe that’s the reason so many weird things are happening to us . Me fainting in front of the Dean , you calling me Laurel…..’

‘I have things to do .’

‘I am exhausted !’Laura all but screams out , and is embarrassed to hear her voice crack ‘I am exhausted of having dreams of this strange girl who keeps screaming for me to watch out , to save myself , while your mother watches on as some weird men beat the crap out of me . I am tired of dreaming of her , like I’m falling in love with this girl whose face I can never recall , and whose voice sounds vaguely familiar , but I can never really remember it long enough to find out . And you don’t freaking care! But I guess its okay . I’m the idiot for thinking you might begin to even think about somebody other than yourself for a change . I’ll just……I’ll just try to find out on my own , impossible as it seems . I’ll just………’

‘Mircalla .’

Laura stops her rant ‘What ?’

‘The girl from my dreams ,’Carmilla says , hesitantly ‘She calls me Mircalla .’

  _1697_

_Laurel has always prided herself on being observant ._

_She looks at the small things . Sees nests of birds , small changes in weather . Spots the lies of her friends . Knows when they are planning on playing a prank on her .Detects patterns in indecipherable puzzles . Notices the small things , and still has enough presence of mind to look at the big picture at the same time ._

_That afternoon , she sees Mircalla make her way towards the clearing where she is standing frozen , and her mind goes blank . She doesn’t notice the haste with which the dark-haired girl walks , doesn’t see the expression on her face , which when she’d think about later on , she’d describe as a mixture of fury , relief , and eagerness . She doesn’t notice the tear tracks on Mircalla’s face . Just watches her , and feels like she can breathe again . The pain in her chest subsides , like it always does when she is around Mircalla ,and she hates herself . Loathes the fact that the same girl who destroyed her heart can make her feel like its healing again . Wishes it wasn’t this way ._

_To summarize , she doesn’t see anything , doesn’t notice anything happening around her , till Mircalla reaches her , pulls her hand back , slaps her in the face as hard as she can (and its pretty hard) , and then pulls her into a kiss ._

_Laurel unfreezes , and everything goes into overdrive ._

_Suddenly she can feel the sting of the slap on her left cheek and knows its going to go red soon . Then she registers the kiss . The pressure of Mircalla’s lips on hers , the way they’re moving gently yet desperately and the soft feel of them .Her heart beats so hard and so fast she’s surprised it hasn’t burst out of her chest yet . She feels her blood pounding through her body ,and it makes her feel dizzy , so she steadies her hands on Mircalla’s shoulders , who parts for a cursed second , and then reunites their lips again .Then she realizes her cheeks are wet (she doesn’t know if they’re her tears or Mircalla’s , but it makes her stop) . Mircalla notices , and after a soft kiss to her bruised cheek , slowly moves away ._

_Laurel just stares at her . Her lips are swollen , and redder than usual , but the rest of her , her eyes , nose , temple is the same , exactly the same kind of beautiful and miraculous it was before , and what just happened now ?_

_‘How dare you do that to me ?’Mircalla asks her , angrily (pretty angrily for someone who was kissing her a second before) ._

_‘Wh….how…..what ?’_

_‘Running off like that to the most dangerous place in Styria like that !What if something had happened to you ?’_

_‘You pushed me away ,’she tells the girl she loves , slowly getting her bearings , and feeling a little bit angry herself ‘You ran away . You broke my heart .’_

_Mircalla still looks indignant , but Laurel sees a little bit of what she thinks is regret creep into her eyes ._

_‘That doesn’t mean you’ll go off anywhere where you could get hurt ?’_

_They’re facing each other , neither backing down , and Laurel thinks of how ridiculous the whole thing is , they’re fighting , while they could spend that time kissing ._

_‘ I was fine .’_

_Mircalla softens ‘I know . Sorry about hitting you .’_

_She nods ._

_‘Why are you here ?’she asks then , suddenly remembering all the events of the past two months ._

_‘I’ll explain . Just give me a moment .’_

_‘Alright ,’she says ‘But…..’_

_‘What ?’_

_‘Could you kiss me again ?My cheek still hurts .’_

_Mircalla blushes , looks down , smiles and Laurel’s world falls back into place ._


	13. Chapter 13

2014

‘So she’s been hearing a girl call out an anagram of her name in her dreams?’

‘Well , yes .’

‘Man , this place is weird .’

Laura sighs , and there is a murmur of agreement from the rest of the group , who are gathered in room 307 to discuss “the current events threatening our sanity” , or in Laf’s case , insanity (who came to her room last week with a handful of dragon wings and hippocampus eggs , babbling about trying to find a way to make wine from water , which apparently was “the most genius idea of all time , Laura !This is science and weirdness at its best !”) .

‘Can it be something to do with her subconscious state of mind ?’Kirsch asks (ever since the last video , his vocabulary seems to contain only one word) .

‘Yeah , I don’t think anybody’s subconscious is advanced enough to create an anagram of their name and have an unknown girl say it in their dreams every night ,’Danny tells him .

‘When you put it that way……’

‘Seems like we’re at a dead end once again ,’Laf observes .

‘No ,’she shakes her head ‘A dead end means we were going somewhere . This whole thing is like a movie with multiple plotlines that go nowhere . We’ve got missing people , Betty included , an evil Dean who is also the adoptive mother of my roommate making me have nightmares of being beaten up ,weird dreams about girls calling out various forms of our names and how the hell is all this happening ?’

‘Silas ,’they all say at the same time , Perry included , and laugh .

That’s the moment when Carmilla walks in , bag in hand and Laura curses this whole crush thing because lately it just takes her roommate walking into a room to turn her into a hands-trembling , heart-beating-fast , stomach-butterflies-invaded cliché found in every fanfiction she has ever read .This is getting out of hand . Carmilla throws her bag onto her bed , kicks her boots to a corner , looks over at them and gives them a look that says annoyed , indifferent ,bored , tired , and I-really-did-not-sign-up-for-this , which , to be honest , is very hot (according to Laura anyway ;Danny just looks pissed , and Laf simply waves at her) .

‘What the hell are you people doing in here ?’

‘We were just discussing a plan of action to deal with everything that’s been going on lately , and because its been happening to you too , you’d be open to helping us , right ?’

‘Nothing has been happening to us except for a lot of over-exaggeration on your part , cupcake . Chill out , and maybe everything will return to the way it was . You’ll probably forget all about Betty and move on in a couple of weeks .’

Laura gapes .

‘You did not just say that ! People went missing . Are still going missing . Forget and move on ? What kind of advice is that ?’

Carmilla chuckles , but the sound is bitter , and more like a scoff .

‘The kind of advice which comes from people who have had a lot of experience in matters worth forgetting .’

And the words sound so melancholy that Laura is struck speechless .

_1697_

_‘My mother isn’t a very pleasant woman .’_

_Laurel nods , and waits for Mircalla to continue ._

_‘You see , Laurel , all my life , ever since I was born , I have been taught that the only happiness for a woman lay in having a marriage with a rich man , and having children . A marriage of a lady of my station need not be a happy one , all my mother wanted from me was to marry a powerful Count and increase her reach in the provinces around this village. I have been trained in the proper way to behave in public , to talk to men and to make them view me as a potential wife . My whole life , I have lived in a cage of sorts . A cage constructed around me by my mother .That is , until I met you .’_

_‘You sneaked into my house on a simple impulse , and I’d never met anybody like you . Somebody so imprudent , so uncaring of society standards , so brash…..’_

_‘I’m not sure if this is you explaining why you kissed me or its you telling me why you slapped me in the face ,’Laurel asks , and Mircalla laughs._

_‘Will you let me speak ?’she asks , and Laurel aquiesces ._

_‘You were……different . You smiled and laughed freely , you didn’t care what others thought about you , you taught me strange things like the art of climbing trees , and firing a catapult…..’_

_Laurel internally smiles ,thinking of the afternoon when they made a catapult , whittling out pieces of wood , and Mircalla spent all of the time attacking Danny with it from behind Kirsch’s shop (and giggling silently everytime Danny looked around in confusion) ._

_‘You made me dance in the rain with you , play cards ,and for the first time in my life I felt free . I felt happy .Alive .And then slowly I realized that my feelings for you exceeded that of the way somebody might feel about a friend . You had taken over my whole world . When I wasn’t with you , I was thinking about you , remembering the way you looked when you thought something I’d said was funny , your smile . In fact I used to stay up all night thinking of ways to make you smile .’_

_Happiness bursts inside her chest as she realizes that Mircalla felt the same way she did ._

_‘But before I’d known all of this , we danced together and you told me you loved me . I didn’t know what to do . There you were , beautiful , wild , the best person I’d ever known in my life , pouring your heart out to me , and all that was going on in my head was my mother telling me that “people of our stature are not meant to indulge in acts that might destroy our reputation” .’_

_‘So you ran ,’Laurel says , and feels her voice crack ._

_‘I’m sorry , darling ,’Mircall chokes out , desperately , as though afraid that Laurel will get up and leave her , but at that moment , all that Laurel is thinking is **she called me darling ‘** I just couldn’t comprehend……how was I  supposed to tell you I loved you when I hadn’t even realized it fully myself ? When I was still trapped ?’_

_‘Mircalla ,’Laurel hurries to reassure her ‘Its alright .’_

_‘And then , when I didn’t see you around town the next couple of days , I asked Lola about you , and she told me you had gone to help out the people affected by the earthquake , and I had never been more terrified in my life . Something could have happened to you , there was a possibilty of another earthquake soon after , and I hadn’t even told you how I felt about you .’_

_Laurel , overcome with bravery at this confession , slowly reaches her hand out , tucks a stray lock of hair behind Mircalla’s ear , sees her eyes close , and feels her heart thundering in her chest ‘How do you feel about me ?’_

_Mircalla opens her eyes , and Laurel gasps because her eyes are so beautiful , and all she can read there is adoration , reverence , tenderness , care and love , love , so much love . **Oh Lord I am drowning** runs through her mind , and she can’t look away ._

_‘I love you , Laurel .  I love you , so , so much , sweetheart . You are , undoubtedly , the most beautiful thing in my world . I love your smile , the way you look when you’re talking about something you believe in , your passionate and cheerful approach to life , the way you care for your friends , your bravery , and I love the essence of what makes you you . I can’t comprehend a world where I don’t see you by my side , and I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness…….’_

_Laurel cuts her off by pressing her lips against Mircalla’s , a sudden yet tender kiss that leaves them both breathless , and pulls her into her arms , holding her tight .At that point , she doesn’t think of the fact that Dame Karnstein might kill her and destroy her family if she ever has an inkling , doesn’t consider the consequences of being in love with a Karnstein , doesn’t dread what might happen if anybody in their village found out about her being in love with a girl . She just holds Mircalla , their hearts beating against each others , and for the first time in her life , feels like she’s finally home ._

2014

This is a bad idea .

There are a few things in life that Laura is certain of . One is that you never skip a Doctor Who episode . It will haunt your dreams . Another is that nothing can compare to the pleasure of eating chocolate-chip cookies during a late hour homework session . The observation that this is a bad idea is another thing she is certain about .

Kirsch suddenly wraps his arms around her shoulders and steers her behind the nearest building to avoid them being noticed by the Dean .

Yeah , that is happening .

In case she dies soon , Laura would like to clarify a few things to some people . To Danny , she would like to say that she is now a badass spy , and doesn’t need to be put in a bubble anymore , if she pleases . To Lafontaine , she would like to apologize for indulging in the “hardcore” without taking them along . Perry , she would like to whack over the head , and tell her to ‘girl the hell up’ and tell Laf how she is totally in love with them , because its getting ridiculous , honestly . Then , to Carmilla……

She would like to say that this trip was totally not planned . That after Literature ended half an hour ago , she had been walking with Kirsch back to her dorm when they had caught sight of the Badmobile (also known as the Dean’s car) , parked at a distance from an abandoned building in the vicinity of the Head Offices and couldn’t resist the urge to find out what she was upto .So they hid behind trashcans , and trees , and the elephant-who-was-not-really-an-elephant-but-Kyle-who-had-been-turned-by-the-Alchemy club and who had been waiting for a cure since yesterday afternoon to find out what the Dean’s deal was . So this was definitely not her fault , in fact it was Carmilla’s mother’s fault for walking around looking all mysterious and evil . Thats all (she would also like to tell her roommate of her insane crush on her , but she hopes she gets out of this alive to tell her in person) .

‘I think she’s gone ,’Kirsch says , and Laura snaps back to the present . The very dangerous present .

She leans a tiny bit over the edge of the wall , and sees the edge of a black blazer disappearing into a door .

‘Come on ,’she tells Kirsch , and they set off .

It is kind of hard to be two super-secret spies when one of you is a klutz , and the other is an overexcited huge puppy , but they have pulled it off so far , mostly because the entire area is deserted . This creates a problem , though . If the Dean walks in right now and sees them , they don’t have a valid reason for being in an empty place this time of the day .

‘Where did she go ?’

‘Let me go check out the rooms .You stay right here , behind this desk , okay ?’

‘Kirsch , be careful ,’she says , and he smiles at her .

She sits in the same space for fifteen minutes feeling her legs cramp up , until , her phone buzzes with a text message .

**First floor . Room 307 . ASAP !!**

She finds Kirsch hidden behind a desk , his tall frame trying unsuccessfully to stop all the things on it from being knocked to the ground .

‘Where is she ?’

‘I don’t know , little hottie . But there is a vent right down here and I can hear her voice at regular intervals . Kinda think she’s walking around .’

She leans down and puts her ear to the vent where after a wait of a minute , she hears what she assumes is the Dean’s voice , talking on the phone (because there is no reply)

‘Like I said , I have it under control . That girl is still…..’

The voice trails off .

‘No , master , everything is going according to plan . I’ll have that annoying girl in the palm of my hand in time for……..’

What is going according to plan , Laura wonders , but doesn’t have a lot of time to dwell on it , because the next thing she hears makes her blood run cold .

‘Yes , master , Betty or whatever her name is is still in capture . She was one of the first people to remember 1697 , made it very inconvenient for us , but she is no trouble now .Everything will be perfect and in time for the Full moon .’

This is a bad idea , she thinks again , disoriented , as she looks at Kirsch , mirroring the shock on his face .

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

_1697_

_She can’t stop smiling these days ._

_It’s like , her facial muscles are trying to make up for all the times her eyebrows were frowning , and her mouth was turned down , because the world seems like the most wonderful place in the world and she has never been happier . The sun is shining brighter , the grass smells and feels  better , and even the air seems to be singing in her ears as she runs through the streets towards the riverside where Mircalla is waiting ._

_Mircalla .The girl she loves . The girl who loves her ._

_It has been almost two weeks since everything came out in the open , and its been almost two weeks of clandestine meetings in the woods , walks beneath the trees ,secret letters , shy smiles and magical kisses .Dame Karnstein spends most of her time in the powerful provinces , and with all the travelling she has been doing , it doesn’t exactly give her a lot of time to pay attention to her daughter . That doesn’t mean she is ignoring the matter of her marriage though . Every time she returns home , it is with an invitation to Lord-Someone-with-a-strange-name-who-Laurel-doesn’t-know-but-hates-already’s ball or gathering ,because she thinks that it would be a great idea if his son and her daughter talk , and mingle sometime .It isn’t anything new , but now it angers her more . Its not just the jealousy (although , it plays a huge part) , its just that….._

_Look , she doesn’t know how to describe it , but something feels strange about the Karnstein matriarch . Mircalla doesn’t say anything , but sometimes gets the feeling that the fear she has for her mother is more than just high-society woes. Whenever she asks Mircalla about it , she either clams up , or becomes angry with Laurel and doesn’t say one word to her the rest of their afternoons together .So she has learned to not mention a word of the Karnstein family in front of Mircalla ._

_Speaking of…._

_‘There you are ! I was getting anxious .’_

_‘I’m only five minutes late .’_

_‘The while we keep a man waiting , he reflects on our shortcomings ,’Mircalla quotes , looking so serious that she cannot resist smiling ._

_‘Good thing you’re not a man then .’_

_‘Laurel .’_

_‘Mircalla .’_

_‘ **Laurel .’**_

_‘Oh , this is silly . We’re wasting all this time when we could be walking . And talking .And enjoying each other’s company .Maybe ,’she says , dropping her voice to  a whisper ‘We could be kissing .’_

_Mircalla tries to fight it , but her lips split into a smile , and Laurel , while appreciating the sheer beauty of the smile , realizes that the mock fight is over . She extends an arm towards Mircalla , who slides it inside hers , and entangles their fingers together . Hand in hand , they set off towards the clearing , while Laurel wonders if she has ever known happiness this profound before . Is there any life better than one which you spend with the one you love ? When you get to see them smile and know that you are the reason for their joy ?When you get to hold them in your arms and feel complete , alive ?Life really couldn’t get better ._

_Mircalla suddenly stopped , turned to her abruptly , and leaned up to press a shy kiss to her lips ._

_Life just got better ._

2014

For every one thing she knows about Carmilla Karnstein , there is a million she doesn’t know . She knows that her roommate thrives on antagonism , loves annoying people ,secretly loves Grey’s Anatomy no matter how McIdiotic and McImbecilic she calls Derek Shepard and Mark Sloan , and that the douche behavior is definitely not an act (like it always in the really cheesy fanfics) ;Carmilla really is one . What Laura doesn’t know is why she has absolutely no respect for boundaries , loves watching the stars at night , likes annoying her , pushes her away every time they get close or doesn’t answer questions about her mother when it could help .

Right now she is finding out what Carmilla looks like when she is angry , and it is scary (also , its very sexy  , but there is no way she’ll ever admit it out loud) .

‘After what happened to you when she saw you , why on earth would you go STALK her ? What would you have done if she had seen you ?’

‘Asked her for an autograph ,’she replies under her breath , but unfortunately , Carmilla hears . She stops pacing , and gives her a look .

‘That doesn’t even make sense , you dumbass ,’she tells Laura , and after a pause to consider the extreme stupidity of her answer , continues berating her ‘You know what she’s like , why would you even…?

‘I don’t know what she’s like , _you dumbass_ ,’she affects her voice , trying to make it sound like Carmilla’s rasp ‘Because you won’t freaking tell me ! I have been asking for ages , and the best I get is a condescending “This sleuthing business is out of your league , Lauronica Mars”. There is not one piece of useful information I have gotten about her from you .’

‘I don’t know anything about her . We had a mutual hatred for each other . We didn’t exactly sit around and share intimate details of our lives . I didn’t even see her most days , unless she was…….’Carmilla trails off , lost in memories , painful ones , it seems to her , because her face is twisted into a frown , and it makes Laura’s heart ache . She quells the protective urge that rises up within her , the instinct that feels like a long forgotten memory , to hold the other girl and take away her pain .

‘I’m sorry ,’she says .

The cloud passes , and Carmilla’s face clears ‘Its okay .The only thing you need to know is that my mother is…….a piece of work . She is manipulative , vengeful , bitter , and very , very driven to get what she wants . Under no circumstance do you want to cross her .Ever .’

‘Okay ,’she agrees , crossing her toes .

‘Very good ,’the dark-haired girl says , her lips twitching ‘Now say it without crossing your toes .’

‘Oh , come on .You and I both know its only a matter of time before I find some another way to solve this mystery . I just can’t let it go .’

‘I guess you can’t , can you , Cupcake ?’ Carmilla asks , wryly , but the question sounds fond .

Laura stretches out on her bed , tired .It has been a long day . Then something occurs to her .

‘Hey , what were you doing back so early , anyway ? I thought you had a class .’

Her roommate ducks her head , and mutters something she doesn’t catch , so she asks Carmilla to repeat herself .

‘I said ,’Carmilla mumbles , forcing the words out ‘Its movie night .’

‘Right ,’Laura says , trying to sound normal inspite of the ear-splitting and probably dopey smile threatening to take over her face .

‘And I waited for a while , because you’re always late , but…….’

‘I’m not always late ! I mean , not by a lot . Besides , for someone who has so many annoying habits , you’re weirdly punctual .’

‘The while we keep a man waiting , he reflects on our shortcomings ,’Carmilla says , her tone philosophical .

‘Good thing you’re not a man ,’she replies , and if she feels like déjà vu (like she has a million times before) about their conversations , she doesn’t mention anything . It must be one of those things , she decides , and goes to sleep .

_1697_

_Laurel has seen many strange things in her life ._

_She has seen Lafontaine chasing after a monkey which had stolen their lunch , Danny dunked in a mixture of flour and eggs after a successful prank , Kirsch getting kicked by a horse in a rather delicate part of his anatomy after the beast refused to fall for his trick with his animal charms and many other sights which would make people stop and stare , but somehow watching Mircalla and her father get along over an apple pie after lunch seems to take the cake ._

_Last night , she had talked to her father about a **friend** of hers she wanted him to meet . To be honest , it wasn’t exactly her idea . But Mircalla wanted to meet the man who had raised her all her life , and had pouted at her until she gave in . So she told her father , without telling him the name of her friend , that she had invited someone for lunch the next day , and he had been pretty enthusiastic about it . Then she had the extreme pleasure of watching the astounded expression on his face when in walked Lady Karnstein , entourage excluded . It took him a moment to recover but he shook off his surprise and welcomed her graciously into their home . Which is how she finds herself here , becoming the brunt of their combined teasing ._

_‘Daddy !’she says , mortified ‘I was seven !’_

_‘Old enough to know that calling Lord Klaus **Old Hook Nose** in his wife’s presence wasn’t very polite .’_

_Mircalla smiles at her , her eyes lit up with mirth , and that makes the embarrassment worth it . She grins back , forgetting her father for a moment . Forgetting the whole world , in fact . This girl has that effect on her ._

_Needless to say , the evening is a success ._

_She drops Mircalla off with Lola near their carriage , and walks back to her house , feet not touching the ground in her joy . Her father may never find out the true nature of their relationship which makes her a little sorrowful , but at least he likes Mircalla . Expecting her father to have gone off for duty already , she skips into the house , whistling a happy tune ._

_‘Laurel ,’her father’s voice stops her in her tracks ._

_‘You’re still here ,’she points out , a little unnecessarily ._

_Edwin Hollis lets that pass , and after a moment speaks up again ‘Mircalla seems like a nice girl .’_

_‘She is .’_

_‘How long have you been in love with her , Laur ?’_

_Her blood runs cold in her veins , and the whole world freezes . How could he have known ? She had barely talked to her in front of him ._

_‘I…….have no idea what you’re talking about , daddy .’_

_‘I’m your father . Have raised you alone ever since your mother died . Don’t insult me , please ,’he tells her , calmly ._

_‘How…’_

_‘A blind man could see the way you look at her .’_

_She considers that , mind running a million places a minute . She has nowhere to go . Kirsch couldn’t take her in , his house is too small . J.P doesn’t stay in their village and she hasn’t talked to Danny in a long time ._

_‘Don’t throw me out , father , please ,’she starts , her tone imploring ‘I don’t know where to go….’_

_Her father gets up abruptly and grabs her shoulders ‘What are you talking about ? I’m not throwing you out . Why would you think that ?’_

_‘But I’m a girl .’_

_‘I know .’_

_‘And so is Mircalla .’_

_‘I noticed that . Darling , I’m not angry .’_

_The world must be turning in the opposite direction . Everything is strange , and she doesn’t know what to say .She braces herself ._

_‘You’re not ?’_

_‘I’m not angry ,’he repeats ‘Disappointed , sure . I accepted your friend Laf’s pronouns , and if you think I’d be capable of something like this , you really don’t know me well . I was a little surprised , but I got over it . Its disconcerting , but nothing to throw you out about .’_

_She throws her arms around her father’s shoulders and sobs into his chest , finally letting go of all the secrets she has been carrying around in her chest so far . He steadies her , and pats her back , a little awkwardly , but its perfect . Its always been like that between them , awkward , a little too rough around the edges to be perfect , but her father is the best person she knows , and she wouldn’t trade that for anything ._

_‘I’m sorry ,’she says , after her tears have dried ._

_He smiles at her ‘Its alright , Laurel . I love you .’_

_‘Me too ,’she sniffles ._

_‘And even though she isn’t the girl I would have hoped you would go for , if I’d known………’_

_‘I thought you said she was nice .’_

_‘Oh , Mircalla’s perfect for you . But she is a Karnstein . And her mother………’he trails off with a worried expression on his face ‘She is dangerous . I really don’t see how you two will manage to be together , when she is standing in the way . The father in me shudders at the thought of you against her . But the father in me knows how you have been raised , knows that if there is a way , you will find it . I just wonder , if she is worth it .'_

_‘She is ,’Laurel says and she has never been more certain of anything else in her life ._


	15. Chapter 15

2014

She has been thinking a lot about how she ended up where she is currently sitting , nestled into Carmilla’s side , their shoulders brushing against each other and her head resting on the other girl’s shoulders and none of this is as romantic as it sounds when she takes into account the fact that they are in a dark closet , and trapped .

The very fact that she can say all this without an ounce of surprise or shock gives her an idea of what her life has come to .

So she thinks . Retraces everything she has done this evening , goes over every step , slowly , all while enjoying the feel of Carmilla’s warmth beside her . Say what you want about the Dean but she sure is giving Laura a lot of opportunities to spend time with her daughter .

Also , of course the Dean is involved .

It started as it always does, with a group meeting in room 307 (and yes, Carmilla is totally included in their group ;no matter how much she whines and groans about the Mad Scientist , Lola LOCD , the Jolly Ginger Giant , and that-idiotic-dudebro-who-is-such-a-dumbass-I-can’t-even-be-bothered-to-give-him-a-name , she always ends up contributing to their discussions with an actual piece of information disguised as an insult to Laura’s less-than-average investigative skills) , where Laf proposed that they split up into groups of two and take shifts sneaking around different areas of the campus for information or search for the missing girls in the buildings they saw the Dean in . Predictably, Laf wanted to be partnered up with Perry , and Laura forced Danny and Kirsch to be partners (because with them being heads of the Summer Society and Zeta Omega Mu , they had excuses to be in a lot of places , totally not because she thought it would be hilarious to see them be cordial to each other) , which left Laura alone . It took threats ,pleads , begging , and finally , a promise to not hound her roommate about the hair in the bathroom in the future to convince Carmilla to pair up with her for the whole spying activity .

Which was kind of wonderful . It was lots of time spent with her roommate , time which she spent unraveling the puzzle that was the Carmilla , being made fun of and making fun of her , listening to her sexy voice rasp out criticisms for her spying techniques and knowing that no matter how idiotic she called Laura’s plans , she’d always stick with her to make sure she didn’t screw up her life (which Laura translated as ‘to make sure she was fine’) . It was dragging her around corners and abandoned rooms to search for hidden clues to the whereabouts of the missing girls and having lots of fun . Then Laura screwed up .

 It was the car . She saw it driving slowly around campus , and in her excitement called Carmilla there to follow it . She really should have checked to see if the Dean was actually inside the car . Which she didn’t.

Mistake number one .

Then after the discovery , another thing she should have done was hide , and run away carefully to avoid being detected . Which she didn’t .

Mistake number two .

But in her defense , she certainly wasn’t expecting Will Eisen , a Zeta bro of Kirsch , to climb out of the car and look around suspiciously after Carmilla was too slow in stepping behind the wall .

So they ran . With Carmilla cursing the number of steps in the staircase , they ran up to the first floor of the nearest building and stepped into the first room that wasn’t locked . Which was this extremely small broom closet .

Then she shouldn’t have locked the door so hard that when they tried to open it back , the doorknob broke off in Carmilla’s hand .Which she did .

Mistake number three .

Why do these things always happen to her ?

_1697_

_‘You know the strangest thing that happened today ?’_

_‘That you stopped kissing me ,’Laurel tries , trying to bring their lips together again , but Mircalla rolls her eyes and kisses her nose once , before turning to look up at the blue sky ._

_‘What ?’_

_‘Count Bauer showed up at our mansion today !’_

_‘That no-good , ugly rake ?’_

_‘He is very handsome !’Mircalla says , surprised ‘And he seemed very noble .’_

_‘He was there to woo you ?’_

_‘No , he was there for Betty ,’the girl replies ,then in an amused voice asks ‘Are you envious ?’_

_Laurel stays silent ._

_‘You are , aren’t you ?’Mircalla says , amused , her tone pleased ‘Admit it .’_

_She turns her head towards Mircalla’s face ‘Yes , Mircalla . I am envious . I am incredibly jealous at the idea of somebody , anybody who isn’t me getting the opportunity of courting you , getting to express their love for you in public . It makes me furious , when I think of some man who doesn’t deserve you getting the extraordinary privilege of marrying you ,kissing you , touching you ,’she takes a deep breath , trying to drive the bitterness away from her voice ‘So , yes ,I admit I’m plenty envious .’_

_Mircalla looks at her , with pained eyes , the teasing glint gone , and runs a hand along the side of her face ._

_‘You know I will always be yours .’_

_It isn’t enough , Laurel thinks but doesn’t say it . Instead , she presses a kiss to Mircalla’s fingers ._

_‘Alright ,’she begins , once she is sure her voice isn’t going to break ‘What was so strange about Count Bauer ?’_

_‘Sweetheart .’_

_‘I’m fine ,’ she tells the other girl , and smiles . This doesn’t seem like such an effort , and it convinces Mircalla ‘So , what happened ?’_

_‘He proposed to Betty .’_

_The surprise makes her forget her own woes , and sit up ‘Really ?’_

_Getting caught up in her own story , Mircalla gestures with her hand excitedly ‘Yes !He said he’d asked General Spielsdorf for her hand back at her house yesterday , and ridden out here to tell her the good news . He took her to the library , under my chaperonage of course , and said the most wonderful and romantic things while proposing to her on his knees. She is so lucky .’_

_‘What is so strange about it? Everyone says nice things while proposing.’_

_Mircalla raises her eyebrows ‘You didn’t .’_

_‘How dare you ? The things I said were so wonderful , I almost fell in love with myself while saying them .’_

_The dark haired girl laughs out loudly , the voice filling the empty clearing , sounding so beautiful and Laurel almost forgets the fact that she is supposed to be offended ._

_‘That may be so , but he said the most wonderful sonnets to her . Shakespeare’s sonnets .’_

_‘I suppose he was incapable of creating his own words ,’she says contemptuously ._

_‘Oh , like you could do any better ,’Mircalla challenges her , and she knows she is being baited , but thinks for a moment rearranging some words in her head , before she starts speaking ._

_‘ **If my love is the kind of dark that grows in amount and intensity so you cannot see or feel anything else over time**_

**_She is the infinity of stars that sparkle so surely and steadily on it , that you’d think it was always meant to be alight’_ **

_Mircalla gasps ‘Where did that come from ?’_

_‘Oh , you know , from nowhere ,’she replies , settling back on the ground , but is unceremoniously pulled upwards ‘What ?’_

_‘That’s it ? Say something else .’_

_‘What , sonnets don’t appeal to you anymore ?’she teases , but seeing Mircalla’s adoring expression , thinks hard again ._

_‘ **If my heart is the barren desert that grows weary of misuse and being trampled on by travelers from afar**_

**_She is the cascade of raindrops that dance lightly across  it ,to music that reaches the essence of who you are_ **

_She takes a deep breath to try and continue , but is bowled over by a very enthusiastic Mircalla , who starts kissing her almost instantly , smiling wide , happy ._

_Take that , Shakespeare , she thinks , and then her mind goes blissfully blank with the feel of Mircalla’s lips on hers ._

2014

‘Where the hell are your friends ?’

She puts her fingers on the side of her forehead , closing her eyes and scrunching up her eyebrows ‘Oh , let me find out . I’m sure with the incredible telepathic powers that I have , it wouldn’t take a minute .’

Carmilla shoves an elbow into her stomach , while she bursts out laughing at her own joke ‘Ha , ha , hilarious . Truly . It seems I may be rubbing off on you a little bit .’

She hums in agreement , trying not to think of the various ways Carmilla could _rub off_ on her . Apparently closets had a strange effect on her mind .

‘Well , its still about twenty minutes for their classes to end . If they take five minutes to read the text I sent them and gather , then another ten to find this building that is out in the middle of nowhere and break open this door , more than half an hour .’

 ‘Hey , do you know anything about Will Eisen ?’

‘I don’t like that guy ,’Carmilla says instantly .

‘You know him , then ?’

‘Not exactly ,’her roommate replies , sounding confused ‘He’s in some of my classes , and he keeps staring at me , all angry and sneering and hostile , like I’ve crossed him or something before . But I’m pretty sure I didn’t even know him before Silas .’

‘I wasn’t exactly expecting students to be in cahoots with your mother in kidnapping young girls . But then again , I wasn’t expecting the Dean of a college to be part of something like this .’

‘I wouldn’t put anything past Maman ,’Carmilla says with a finality that makes Laura feel so sorry for the other girl , that she squeezes her roommate’s hand with her own . After a heart-stopping moment where Laura curses her spontaneous actions , she squeezes back .

‘Anyways ,’Carmilla says , a minute later ‘Looks like its another half hour of playing this ridiculous scene of every cheesy rom-com since the dawn of time .’

‘We are , aren’t we ?’Laura asks , making sure to sound surprised as if this exact thought hadn’t occurred to her as soon as they stepped into the closet .Carmilla turns to look at her like she knows exactly what Laura was thinking a moment ago , but doesn’t call her out on it ‘I suppose we have to fight next .’

‘What ?’

‘After a romantic moment comes the angst , haven’t you heard ?’The dark haired girl says to her , a devilish grin on her face .

‘Yeah , but it isn’t a romantic moment if one of the characters keeps whining and groaning at the other about her friends , who by the way , are your friends too , instead of enjoying this secluded place with the girl she is supposed to end up with at the end of the movie .’

Carmilla scoffs ‘The character isn’t whining and groaning , and even if she is , the other girl is supposed to find it hella attractive .’

I do , Laura almost says out loud .

‘Also , if the moment is to become romantic , it is the responsibility of the annoyingly cheerful girl to do it , not the…..’

‘Brooding , grumpy character who secretly has the hots for the other , but is too proud to admit it ?’

There is an indignant pause , then scoff , after which Carmilla concedes her point ‘Fine , I’ll give you that . But the cheerful girl has to , like , say something incredibly profound and romantic and corny .’

‘But I don’t know anything incredibly profound or romantic or corny !’

‘Well ,’her roommate drawls ‘Aren’t you a crap method actor ?’

‘Wait , let me think .’

‘About ?’

‘Just…..give me a minute , will you ?’

It doesn’t take her a minute . It doesn’t even take her a second .

She isn’t exactly a poet . She fancies herself as more of a writer , writing non-fiction , telling people about the harsh realities of life , exposing cover-ups as her investigative journalist self , but as soon as she turns to look into Carmilla’s eyes, like a distant , real , actually-lived memory , words flow into her mind .

_‘If my love is the kind of dark that grows in amount and intensity , so you cannot see or feel anything else over time_

_She is the infinity of stars that sparkle so surely and steadily on it , that you’d think it was always meant to be alight’_

_‘If my heart is_ **_……’_ **

She doesn’t know where the words are coming from , why they feel so familiar on her lips , or why they make her heart ache with the loss of love . But the words don’t stop ; like the domino effect , sfter she says one , her brain supplies another to her . She only falters , when Carmilla starts speaking in a low murmur as if in a trance herself .

‘ _the barren desert that grows weary of misuse and being trampled on by travelers from afar_

_She is the cascade of raindrops that dance lightly across  it ,to music that reaches the essence of who you are’_

Laura stares at her , transfixed .

‘That is how it goes , doesn’t it ?’Carmilla asks her , unmindful of their surroundings , then as Laura says her name , she visibly flinches back to the world .

‘Carmilla……..how did you know what I was going to say ?’

Carmilla’s eyes are wide , moving around the dark closet , like she would do anything to escape Laura .So she squeezes her hand tight , trying to get her to look at her .

‘Carm ?’

The other girl opens her mouth to say something , but just then (like in any cheesy rom-com since the dawn of time , Laura thinks bitterly) , they hear Danny’s panicked voice banging on the closet door , and warning them that she and Kirsch are going to break it open .So , Laura watches Carmilla sprint out of the closet door , as soon as it opens , not even giving the group a second glance .

‘What in the world happened ?’Laf asks , and Laura doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry .

Why do these things always happen to her ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The words that Laurel says to Mircalla are my own lyrics .  
> Also , I would be really glad and gratified if you guys comment . Thank you for reading


	16. Chapter 16

_1697_

_She hates it when Mircalla cries._

_No matter how adorable she looks with a puffy face , sniffling and pouting , no matter how pretty she seems with color in her cheeks , she hates the sight of a crying Mircalla, simply because she doesn’t like that something made her sad enough to shed tears . Sometimes it feels like they are connected by an invisible rope, when something makes Mircalla feel melancholy , she hurts inside .Right now, it seems like there is something squeezing the life out of her heart ._

_It isn’t just Mircalla’s sorrow, though. The tears on her own face have more to do with the news that her paramour has just given her._

_‘But I don’t understand why you have to go at all!’_

_‘Neither do I, Laurel. It’s just, mother is…..’_

_‘Of course it’s your mother.’_

_‘Now what is that supposed to mean?’_

_She turns away from Mircalla, ashamed of being petty over a matter of three weeks separation , but lately it seems like Dame is out on a personal mission to mess up her love life , and she doesn’t even know the woman . All the parties (which are an unofficial way for the Dame to arrange a meeting between her daughter and some young man), all the new security measures, including two footmen to accompany Mircalla around (who Perry had a hard time handling , and who have made it practically impossible for her to be with Mircalla for more than an hour every three days ) are taking their toll on Laurel . She finds herself crying at night, and moving through her house desolately during the daytime, so much so that even her father has noticed . Somehow he knows it’s about Mircalla, and doesn’t question her a lot, simply giving her a hug when she looks like she needs it ._

_‘Laur?’_

_‘It’s nothing. I’m fine, really.’_

_‘You don’t look fine.’_

_‘I will be. After all, it’s **simply a matter of three weeks** , isn’t it ?’, she asks , repeating Mircalla’s words from earlier , when she was telling Laurel about the congress of powerful lords that was going to be held at Karnstein hall , for almost a month , that would render it impossible for Mircalla to exit her house without her absence being noticed. Mircalla narrows her eyes at Laurel, and then says in an offhand tone ._

_‘Alright, then , I guess you wouldn’t mind if I leave early today .’_

_Laurel shoots up so fast, she makes herself dizzy ‘What? No. You can’t leave now.’_

_‘I can and I will if you don’t stop insulting my mother .’_

_‘But she’s so…..’_

_Mircalla frowns, and she falls silent ._

_‘It’s just that, she’s always putting a wrench in my love life. And you don’t even seem affected by this whole thing .Three weeks , one month , an year , does it not bother you , not being able to meet ?’_

_This is what love has turned her into, she thinks. Somebody whose entire world revolves around one person, somebody whose life, happiness, and actions are affected by their feelings. Never wanting to escape the hold of the someone who had turned you into a slave._

_‘You think I don’t love you,’Mircalla says, gently ._

_She stays silent, and the answer is probably written on her face ._

_‘You dolt,’Mircalla scolds her , and searches in the voluminous folds of her skirts , finally coming up with a folded piece of paper . It looks crumpled, worn, like it’s been opened and closed many times ._

_Laurel takes the paper, opening it slowly, gently, and gasps . Inside is a beautifully drawn portrait of herself. She is smiling , and looking away , and there are intricate details added in the drawing, laugh lines around her mouth , an almost nonexistent line on her forehead . She looks beautiful._

_‘I had to do it from memory, since we never get enough time to just talk. And some of it I could not capture, the look in your eyes when you tease me, the brightness, the purity that simply radiates from you all the time,’the dark haired girl is looking away as she talks, as though embarrassed of her own words ‘Father had told me once that we generally dream of the things that are most on our mind just before we fall asleep, so I look at this every night so I can see you when I’m sleeping too. I know I’m not the most expressive person, but…….you know, right?’_

_Now she does._

_‘And I know my mother is trying to marry me off to somebody, but you need to know that you’re the only one in my heart. I will love you for the rest of my life.’_

_Then something occurs to Laurel ._

_‘Really?’_

_‘Really what?’_

_‘You will love me for the rest of your life?’_

_‘Yes.’_

_‘You will never want anyone else?’_

_‘No, I won’t.’_

_‘That’s perfect. Close your eyes and wait for me, alright?’_

_‘Laurel, what are you doing?’_

_That’s all she hears as she’s off to the nearest tree. Quickly tearing off a string of vine from it, and plucking off a blade of grass from the ground, she sets to work . After a very messy two minutes, she’s back in front of Mircalla, and tells her to open her eyes._

_‘What…..?’_

_‘Bear with me for a minute here,’she starts, hardly able to contain her excitement, I heard your speech , and something occurred to me in the middle of it . So, we get married in churches , right ?_

_Mircalla nods._

_‘Basically, we get married in a church by a priest, because they are men of God and we want to be blessed by Him , right ? But we’re taught early in our life that God is in us. So….’_

_‘Darling, you’re confusing me.’_

_She kneels down in front of a baffled Mircalla ‘Will you marry me?’_

_‘We can’t actually get….’_

_‘Were you not listening to a word I was saying? We can get married.’_

_‘Fine ,’the love of her life says , but she is clearly humoring her ‘Fine , I’ll marry you, the Great and Mighty Laurel.’_

_Laurel takes out the vine she had twisted in the shape of a ring with the grass criss-crossing it , and putting it on Mircalla’s ring finger , tightens the knot so it fits snugly ._

_‘Now , as someone who has concluded that because there is a bit of God in all of us , in a very complicated way , I can conduct a marriage ceremony , I now pronounce Mircalla Karnstein and myself , Laurel Hollis to be not-exactly-lawfully-but-close-enough wife and wife .’_

_‘You are an idiot ,’Mircalla tells her , but her eyes are sparkling , and she looks the happiest Laurel has ever seen her ._

_‘You may now kiss the bride , by which I mean me ,’Laurel says , grinning mischievously ‘And feel free to keep kissing her for hours , because she has nowhere to be at the moment.’_

_‘You are unbelievable ,’Mircalla states, but leans in to kiss her, and Laurel had never thought she’d get married to Mircalla Karnstein in a empty field by herself and her stupid logic with the trees and the river for an audience, but like her life, its unexpectedly perfect anyway._

2014

‘What the hell was that back there?’

This really wasn’t part of the plan. She was worried enough about Betty and the other missing girls, and was finally managing to push the whole What-is-it-with-me-and-Carmilla-talking-about-stuff-that-feels-like-we-already-have-discussed when something else happened and now she can’t stop thinking about the implications of Carmilla completing four lines, four very poetic and romantic lines that she herself doesn’t know how they came into her head , without even knowing what she was going to say.

Carmilla is looking anywhere but at her , which seems like a big feat considering the small size of the room they live in ‘Again , I tell you , I have no idea what you’re talking about .’

‘I made up a poem in my head, and you completed it! And then you stormed off for two hours, and as soon as you came back, started snapping at me like it was my fault all of that even happened.’

‘Of course its your fucking fault!’Carmilla explodes, her eyes flashing ‘I was fine before I met you, then Maman insisted I change rooms and shift to room 307, and that was when the whole bloody mess started. The stupid dreams , and the conversations that feel like we’ve gone through before and this constant feeling that we’re simply acting in a play of a story which has already taken place , and everything that I’ve been feeling lately what with the……’she clams up suddenly, and looks down, as though afraid she has said a lot.

‘I knew you felt it too !’bursts out of Laura , and she is a little surprised at her own volume, but, screw that, this shit has been going on for a lot of time , and at least she isn’t the only one feeling this way (apparently she is the only one who is falling in love with her roommate, but she supposes one can’t have everything) ‘Wait , what do you mean your mother asked you to move in here?’

‘Just after your original roommate went missing, she kicked me out of my very comfortable single, and told me to relocate to room 307. Said something about me having a fun time with you, she was pretty cryptic about the whole thing.’

Laura opens her mouth to speak up again, but Carmilla shushes her before she can start ‘That’s it. That’s all I know about this. So please, for the love of God, no more questions starting with what, how, when or why, okay?’

There are a million questions and thoughts she wants to bounce off her roommate now that she knows Carmilla has been afflicted by the same Silas virus as her, but wisely she shuts up, deciding instead to work on an essay she had long been avoiding in favor of the whole investigation business.

She doesn’t remember when she falls asleep, or when she slips into a dream.

Oh, she knows it’s a dream, some subconscious part of her sleeping mind knows that she’s never been to the place she is seeing. For that matter, her brain is also aware that she has been dreaming this same dream for a few nights that starts with her seeing the blurry outline of the same girl, the girl with a face and voice that she forgets as soon as she wakes up.

This dream is different. She is in a open field by the river, and she is dancing. Waltzing, to be exact .With the same girl who taught her to waltz in real life .Before she can have a ‘Aha’ moment of triumph, maybe store the moment in memory to gloat at Carmilla later, the other girl opens her mouth to laugh, and Laura is stunned at the feeling that courses through her, the intense love, adoration and utter joy at being the cause of the girl’s happiness.

‘Laurel ,’Carmilla says, but before Laura can tell her she’s got the name wrong, the scene shifts and blurs into a new one.

Karnstein Hall is burning (how does she know what the building is called?), and suddenly she is aware of the hands restraining her. She doesn’t know why they are holding her back, it’s not like she is running. Then she realizes that her body is struggling to get to the burning building, so she raises her head to look at the windows and is greeted with a blood-chilling sight.

Carmilla is trapped behind the doors, and is frantically trying to escape.

‘NO!!!!!’she screams, but the people stopping her don’t let go, instead one of them replies with a punch to her abdomen .The pain registers but only as a blip in a large ocean, her whole focus is on Carmilla. She has never known this much fear and panic before, her blood has frozen in her veins, her heart is beating out of her chest with adrenaline, and the only thing in her mind is a loud ‘Kill me, spare her’.

She looks up at the windows again, but doesn’t see Carmilla there. As her brain processes the implications of that, and dreads what could be happening, the world goes dark, and she is shaken awake, with Carmilla’s face, her unharmed, beautiful face inches from her own, shining in the faint moonlight.

‘Laura? Cupcake, what’s wrong?’

‘Carmilla,’she sobs out, cupping her face and looking over every feature of hers ‘You’re safe.’

Her roommate looks confused ‘Yes I am. I was just…..hey, hey, Laura, don’t cry please.’

 She can’t stop crying, not when the image of Carmilla, trapped and helpless is still imprinted on her eyelids. She feels the other girl shift, and clutches her hand tight, filled with sheer terror.

‘No,’ she cries out ‘Don’t leave me, please.’

In any other situation, she probably would be embarrassed at how incredibly clingy she is being, but the memory of the dream is still fresh in her mind, and she doesn’t want Carmilla to go anywhere.

Carmilla leans down, and though she still seems confused, slowly and tenderly strokes her forehead with gentle fingers. ‘Laura,’ she says ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

She climbs onto the small bed, and hesitantly guides Laura to lean against her shoulder .’You’re okay,’ she whispers ‘I’m okay. Everything’s gonna be fine, I promise.’

It’s not true, and Laura knows. But she hears the utter determination in Carmilla’s voice, and surrounded by her presence, eventually falls asleep to the rhythmic song that is Carmilla’s heart beating against her ears.

_1697_

_It’s a lie, she thinks._

_It simply cannot be true. Just because she hasn’t met Mircalla in over a month, just because there are a lot of important Lords in her house for the congress, Lords who have eligible and rich sons doesn’t mean it’s true. Her friends must be playing a joke on her, A very cruel joke which is not even in the least humorous._

_(Her mind keeps replaying the look on Kirsch’s face as he told her Mircalla was getting married, and she shakes it away, along with the tears forming in her eyes)_

_No. Absolutely not._

_It shouldn’t even be a big surprise, a pessimistic voice pipes up in the back of her head. Her mother was looking for a groom since a long time. She was bound to find one eventually, A groom who was powerful and one who could provide for Mircalla in ways you never could. A good house. Riches. Children, maybe. A good life._

_Quiet, she orders, but it sounds weak._

_She has been running for a long time, all the way from her house to the marketplace, but she isn’t aware of it. Her only goal is to reach the marketplace, and confirm that her love isn’t….._

_No, of course not. She wouldn’t._

_It’s not like she has a choice, she hears again, and savagely shuts the voice down, as she turns a corner and reaches Kirsch’s shop. Laf is sitting with Lola, who gives her a sympathetic look, but she ignores it, her eyes moving along till they see what is going on._

_The whole Karnstein clan is there, the Dame with Mircalla and her brother William, and the Dame is talking._

_‘We are pleased to announce….’_

_Laurel shoulders her way to the front of the crowd, elbowing people and not caring. Mircalla’s eyes are downcast, and she looks stiff._

_‘My dear daughter, Mircalla, will soon be married…..’_

_She keeps staring at Mircalla, knowing that eventually the girl will look up (every time you’re around, sweetheart, I can feel it here in my heart, she had said once, and Laurel had beamed). It takes a minute, but somehow Mircalla sees her._

_‘To the young Lord Friedrich…’_

_Laurel gasps, because she looks so immeasurably sad, its rips a hole in her heart. Mircalla gives no indication she’s seen Laurel, but her eyes sparkle with unshed tears (oh, how she hates it when Mircalla cries) and Will turns to look at her curiously, only looking away when Mircalla goes inside the carriage. Laurel turns and starts walking away._

_Her heart has slowed down from her earlier exercise, and everything feels curiously numb. The world seems to be on a different plane to her, the sun which was shining brightly seems to have intensified its glare, every noise coming to her sounds muffled, and she feels curiously disoriented._

_‘Laurel,’ she hears Laf say, as she passes the shop, but she ignores them. It doesn’t matter, she thinks. Nothing matters anymore. Not now that Mircalla is getting married to someone else._

_She turns a corner, ends up behind a wall, and leaning against it, lets the tears come as she finally acknowledges the simple truth._

_She’s getting married._


	17. Chapter 17

2014

Laura may have been studying at Silas for only eight months now, but she knows a lot of things about the place. She knows the best routes to avoid being attacked by colorful bats, which flowers are definitely not to be picked from the school gardens (Garden of Eden? More like Garden of Death and Despair, what with the patch of grass shooting poison darts and the Cursed daisies that laugh in your face after spraying a fountain of water at you when you lean down to smell them) and what people to talk to if you wanted Silas contraband (which included all sorts of stuff like Harpy weed and Sphinx beer and other things that would make a normal person go ‘WTF?’). She knows about the safe and dangerous buildings on campus. She is aware of the best and worst things about living in a place full of magic and miracles. Most importantly, though, she knows that, under no circumstances should anyone venture into the library after sundown.

But, you know, she does it anyway because she is insane.

‘It’s not insane!’Laf protests ‘It’s hardcore. Besides, we need answers.’

‘I need answers,’ she tells them ‘You’re just here to piss off Perry.’

‘Not everything I do is because of Perry,’ Laf says, their mouth set in a hard line.

‘Both of you are idiots, and I am eagerly waiting for the day you come to your senses, so I can swat you on your head and say, with great pleasure “I told you so”.’   

‘Let’s not talk about this right now, okay? We are going to the library, and I’d rather we keep our morale up by warning it we are pretty awesome. Like, hey dude, you hear me? You can’t stop the beat!!!’

‘What the hell, Laf?’

‘Hey, I’m just saying.’

‘Yeah, that made no sense. Thank God the library can’t reply, I wonder what it would……’, she cuts off, at the sudden sound resounding through the passageway.

_When you see my face, hope it gives you hell_

_When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell_

They look at each other, mouths open.

‘Was that…..?’

‘Holy shit, the library has a sense of humor. Well, you know what, library, give ‘em hell, turn their heads, gonna live life till we’re dead! Give me scars, give me pain…….’

Laura claps a hand over their mouth ‘Don’t give it ideas, you idiot!’

‘Right, sorry.’

_It’s too late to apologize (it’s too late)_

_It’s too late to apologize (it’s too late)_

‘Jeez, it’s the eighth fucking wonder of the world.’

‘Not another word!’ Laura hisses ‘Just……be quiet and follow me.’

Half an hour later, and she is still getting over how weird the library is. Passive-aggressive warning lyrics seemed to be pretty normal for a place where half the books jumped out of their shelves, encircled her and demanded money, going away only when Laura threatened them with her can of bear-spray and the other half either refused to share their information, or seemed to have a personal vendetta against Silas students, making it very difficult for her to do some research in peace. Somebody who is definitely not helping is Laf, who keeps saying stupid stuff like ‘Hey, Laura, the Lord of the flies is buzzing around my head’ and ‘Check it out, One flew over the cuckoo’s nest smacked me in the mouth and flew away’. Why did she put up with them, anyway?

‘Found anything?’ she hears Laf’s voice from the front desk.

‘Not much,’ she calls back ‘Nothing about the history of this school. Nothing about the founders, alumni, or the weird things that happen here. It’s really strange.’

‘Yeah, I know. Hey, you think there might be some secret passages or……….Whoa.’

Laura heard Laf’s cut-off cry and ran to the front of the library. It was deserted.

‘Laf?’

‘Laf, where are you?’

‘Laf, what the hell, where are you?’

Laura had worked herself into a panic after five minutes, when Laf’s voice emanated from behind a huge shelf ‘Laura? Laura, come back here. You need to check this out.’

It turns out another strange thing about the library is the secret room that emerges after picking up a copy of The Comedy of Errors and brushing aside a huge roll of carpet leaning on a wall. It is a quaint little room that looks like it hadn’t been cleaned in centuries. The mirror on its wall is covered in dust and the corner of the room is a mess of cobwebs. It is dimly lit up by a burning torch that she supposes lights up automatically every time there are visitors to the library (how and why are not words she uses anymore when it comes to Silas).

‘Laura?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Over here,’ Laf sounds strangely hesitant.

She walks to where she can hear their voice, feeling around so she can move without being hit by the old artifacts or the table in the middle of the room.

‘What?’

‘Look at the painting.’

‘I can’t see a thing, Laf, my eyes haven’t gotten used to the dark yet.’

‘Then bring over the torch.’

She does and waves it over the wall where Laf is looking, and is unable to hold back her surprised gasp.

It’s an old painting, like the ones noble families used to have made in earlier centuries, the ones that showed all the members of the family standing in a regal manner around the head. The Dean is standing in the middle, clad in the kind of dress that went out of vogue in the nineteenth century. Beside her is standing Will Eisen, looking like a Lord in his apparel, but those aren’t the things that make her exclaim in surprise.

Standing on the other side of the Dean, looking breathtakingly beautiful in a ball gown, is Carmilla.

_1697_

_Laurel Hollis needs answers._

_Laurel Hollis needs answers and she needs them now._

_By now, she means a week after she found out the news about Mircalla getting married, because the last week passed in a whirlwind of crying, sobbing, whimpering, weeping_ _and other words for expressing sorrow that aren’t occurring to her right now. She spent all of her time either lying in bed and staring at the wall despondently, or reading old crumpled letters that Mircalla had sent to her through Perry during happier times. She supposes she can call them happier times, even though the threat of Mircalla’s marriage had always been hanging over their heads like the ominous promise of a storm. Now the cloud had exploded and she was left out in the rain, without the comfort of a roof over her._

_She stops her depressed musing, and looks up to take in the sight of the enormous gates of Karnstein Hall, then turns away, and starts walking around the walls enclosing the building. Betty went away to prepare for her wedding weeks ago, so this time she has no ally who will help her in breaking and entering into one of the most secure and well-guarded castles in all of Styria. She knows that Dame Karnstein hates trespassers and thieves, often ordering her guards to flog them cruelly. She is aware of the horrors that might be in store for her if she is caught in the Dame’s hall of horrors. She has been thoroughly warned by her father of what might happen if she crosses Mircalla’s mother, and stealing into her house in the middle of the night is a sure way of doing that._

_But, you know, she does it anyway, because, apparently, love has turned her insane._

_Luckily, when she was moving around her house wailing and mourning, her friends had swung into action and had actually done something to help her with her troubles in the love department. Laf, with the help of Perry, had designed a map of all the rooms and all the secret passageways (that she was aware of) in Karnstein hall; Kirsch and J.P had dug up information on all the guards who worked the night-shift and knew where everyone would be at what time. Danny had frowned severely for an hour and then gave Laurel her knife ‘for her own protection’. Laurel was actually going to do this._

_It takes her ten minutes at best, five of which are spent waiting for the very sleepy guard under the tree to vacate his post and go off to catch a few winks, and she is in. It’s very difficult, scaling a wall when there is a danger of any guard near the large ornate gates wandering about, but she decides this is no time to dawdle about possibilities. She has stayed away from Mircalla for too long, and she can’t stand it anymore. No matter how heartbroken and devastated she is, she needs to see her. Still craves her. Requires her presence; needs the way Mircalla can make her feel that mixture of relief, love, and exquisitely painful rush of wonder and adoration. So she gathers her courage, and starts climbing, grabbing the vines and creepers running down it._

_It is originally her plan to climb right up to Mircalla’s room, but the identical windows confuse her, and she ends up in a room that looks like nothing she has ever seen before. There are candles lit everywhere, and a flat-board that could pass as a bed if a mattress was placed on it (or maybe not, there was also a rather dangerous looking dagger hanging on the wall beside it. And in the middle of the room, there is a star drawn with two triangles criss-crossing each other and enclosed by a circle. It scares her for some reason, so as soon as she is sure there is no maid lurking about, she slowly slides out of the room, and makes her way to Mircalla’s bedchambers. The room is empty, and Laurel feels an irrational fear. As though Mircalla has already left her. Shaking it off, she stands in front of the brightly burning fire to stamp out the chill, and congratulate herself on a job well-done._

_And like it always happens to her, it seems she spoke too soon._

_She had assumed that Mircalla had gone out to enjoy the moonlight, and would obviously return soon. She had not expected her to return with her mother in tow, whose sharp, scolding voice, directed at Mircalla makes her blood run cold._

_‘You are being ridiculous, Mircalla! I expect you to be on your best behavior tomorrow. You will speak nicely to the boy you are to marry.’_

_(Even through her panic of **Oh, Lord, please don’t let her find me here, dear God, please, please, please….** she feels a twinge of sorrow in her heart at those words)_

_Mircalla answers her mother, and the wave of relief that shoots up Laurel’s body at her voice is something both terrible and indescribable; the awareness that somebody’s mere voice could elicit such a reaction from her is terrifying (later when she’d think about it, she wouldn’t be able to recall what Mircalla’s actual words were, she was simply enjoying hearing that rasping, husky voice that she had been deprived of for far too long). That voice, both so blessed and damned, is the reason she commits probably what she considers to be the biggest mistake of the night._

_She had run right behind the door to the room, so she could hide behind it, and maybe slip outside, if Dame Karnstein entered, bracing her hands on the deadbolt, and when she heard Mircalla talking, her mind wandered to happier times by the river, and the deadbolt slipped out of her grasp, making a faint but distinguishable **Clang.**_

_The voices stop._

_Then the door abruptly opens, and Mircalla pokes her head inside._

_Laurel sees her and feels……._

_Actually, Laurel is not sure what she feels. When she sees Mircalla, all she wants to do is kiss her or get down on her knees and beg her to never leave. She wants to say ‘I love you’, and ‘How could you?’. Wants to hold her tight and never let go._

_Mircalla’s face goes completely white, paler than Laurel has ever seen her, and she ducks out swiftly. Then Laurel can hear her reassuring her mother, and gently lead her away, or so she can tell from the slowly ebbing flow of voices, and she breathes a sigh of relief. The danger has passed._

_Again, she spoke too soon._

_Mircalla strides into the room, locks the door, and slams her into the wall._

_‘Are you insane?’_

_‘I love you,’ Laurel replies, and somehow it is still an answer to her question._

_‘Laurel….’_

_‘I love you,’ she repeats, because her mind hasn’t yet emerged from its stupor, and the only thing she can hold onto, in this tornado of emotions is **I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.**_

_‘Do you want to die?’ the dark haired girl hisses at her, and when she next speaks, she can feel her voice crack._

_‘Dying would be preferable to the hell I’m living in now. You think I’m alive? Happy? I’m dying. Or already dead. Have been since your mother……,’ she breaks off, and then continues, her words becoming a garbled mess of hysteria ‘I want her to kill me, if this is how it’s going to be from now on. Not being able to see you, talk to you, hold you. If you didn’t know it already, I can’t live without you. So, you know, maybe it would be best if she had found me, I wouldn’t have to suffer each day in my longing for you, this utter ache……’_

_Mircalla shuts her up abruptly with a kiss, and Laurel wants to cry, it feels so good. Its passion and desperation, love and sweet, sweet pain and she could die happy right now. She keeps going, keeps kissing Mircalla till she tastes salt. Then she pulls away, hazily watches Mircalla brush away her own tears, and look at her._

_Her eyes are pained, saddened ‘Don’t **ever** say that.’_

_‘It’s true.’_

_Mircalla shakes her head and starts to speak, but Laurel places a finger on her lips ‘It **is** true. You are, hence I am. You are my reason for existing.’_

_She kisses Laurel again, pulls away far too soon, and Laurel feels lost._

_‘You will have to learn how to live without me.’_

_Laurel gives a violent shake of her head ‘What are you talking about? I am not living without you. I can’t….’_

_‘I’m getting married, Laurel.’_

_‘You don’t have to,’ she tells Mircalla, and she is making this stuff up on the spur of the moment, but with every word, her conviction grows ‘We can run away.’_

_‘Stop, Laurel. You can’t just make up things, and say them without thinking it through. We can’t run away. My mother…..’_

_‘Do you want to marry him? The Count fellow?’_

_‘Are you seriously asking me that question?’_

_‘Do you?’_

_‘No, of course I don’t! You are the only person I want to spend my life with.’_

_‘So run away with me. You will never be happy with him, anyway and…’_

_‘I would rather I be miserable and you stay alive!’Mircalla replies, her eyes flashing, and Laurel has never been more in love. She gently brings Mircalla’s hand up to her face and kisses it._

_‘Do you trust me?’_

_Mircalla nods._

_‘Then give me time. I promise, I’ll come up with a plan, that does not end up in both of us being beheaded in the town-square.’_

_‘Not funny.’_

_Laurel doesn’t say anything after that, content to simply bask in Mircalla’s presence. She just holds her, presses a kiss to her forehead, and feels peace for the first time in a long, long week. She relaxes, and plans to enjoy whatever time she has left with the girl in her arms._

_Ah, if only._

_There is a sharp rap on the door, and she untangles herself and runs to the balcony , hiding behind the curtains._

_‘Will? What are you doing here this late?’_

_So, it’s her cousin (she swears to God, this family just doesn’t give up). She hears him walk around the room, slowly, and his footsteps sound purposeful._

_‘I was just passing by and heard voices.’_

_‘I was……..talking to myself.’_

_‘Really?’ he asks, and Laurel doesn’t have to see his face to know that his face has a skeptical expression right now._

_‘Yes. I was simply practicing speaking to the Count tomorrow,’ Mircalla says, and Laure; admires her cool head._

_Will walks around for a few more minutes, and then stops ‘I suppose I was mistaken in thinking that there was somebody else in here.’_

_‘Yes, you were.’_

_‘Well, then I must be off.’_

_She thinks he is at the door when he delivers his parting shot, the words that nearly make her pass out._

_‘Oh, and, by the way, Kitty, you should probably tell the girl who was sneaking around in here earlier that she might get a visit from Mother. I guess she’d like to practice talking to Mother when she is asked about what the nature of her relationship to Lady Karnstein actually is, wouldn’t she?’_

2014

Venturing into the very dangerous library after dark is a very bad idea.

But dawdling in the library staring at a portrait while you know exactly how dangerous said library is a worse one.

Turns out, while they were looking at the painting, trying to find out something about when it was painted, and by whom, the books had been preparing for war. When they finally emerged from the secret room sometime later, with Laura clutching the painting under her arm, they found the books floating around in a circle, with half of them on fire. As soon as the books sensed their presence, they bombarded them with……well, themselves. So after a confused moment of ‘Ah’, ‘Ouch’ and ‘Ow’ from the both of them, especially Laf (who still found time to say ‘Hey Laura, King Lear is killing me!’), they found themselves pinned below a  shelf, with a dozen books holding them down tightly and getting hit by random novellas.

‘This is the way the world ends,’ she says, half-kidding ‘Not with a bang, but Albert Camus’ The Stranger.’

Spoke too soon.

‘Get off me, you little shits!’

‘Is that……?’ Laf asks. And she nods excitedly (because who isn’t justified a little excitement after their crush-turned-into-hopeless-love jumps in to save you like a superhero)

‘Laura?’

‘I’m here, Carm!’

‘Did you find her?’Apparently Kirsch, Danny and Perry tagged along too.

Long and short of it, it took the four of them a lot of threats, begging and bear-spray cans to talk them into letting go of Laf and Laura. She gets up, stretches her neck to get the kinks out, and they are just about to exit the library (which will probably burn itself if they stay any longer), when the computer suddenly pinges, and the screen flashes.

**I CAN HELP.**

‘Oh, now you decide to help,’ Laf mutters, but they walk towards it anyway.

**TAKE THE PENDRIVE WITH YOU.**

They plug it out of the computer, and then get out as fast as they can. Then follows a very long session of being screamed at by Perry and Danny (Carmilla just glared at her, and Kirsch was just pissed they hadn’t taken him along on their expedition, because ‘I could totally have helped, hotties!’), so it’s sometime before they can plug the pendrive into the computer.

The screen flashes with the Loading sign, and a message appears.

**Good evening, everyone who just rescued me. My name is J.P. It’s nice to meet you all.**

The Loading sign ends, and a fuzzy image of a guy in black and white appears.

**Good evening in person this time. Thank you for…….**

Laura is looking right at him, so she can see it, the exact moment when he turns to her, and stops speaking, looking stunned.

**Laurel?**

Then, before she has a chance to open her mouth to reply, his gaze moves to Carmilla’s bed, and somehow, she knows what he is going to say before he actually says it.

**Mircalla?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song lyrics mentioned here are from:  
> You can't stop the beat-Hairspray  
> Gives you hell-The All-American Rejects  
> The Fighter-Gym Class Heroes ft. Ryan Tedder  
> Apologize-One Republic  
> Also, I recently joined tumblr, so you can find me there under Craploadsofawesomeness, if anybody has, like questions, or comments, or just wants to rip this fanfic apart


	18. Chapter 18

_1697_

_Was life easier when she didn’t know Mircalla existed?_

_‘Yes.’_

_‘Of course.’_

_‘I’d like to reserve comment till Laurel puts down that very sharp knife she is holding.’_

_‘Why are we talking about this?’ she asks, annoyed. This was supposed to be a meeting to discuss plans for her elopement, instead J.P brought a bottle of wine stolen from Duke Brecht’s extravaganza, and Kirsch, he and Laf proceeded to get incredibly drunk as though they were the ones whose girl (Lover? Paramour? Lady Friend?) was getting married to somebody else. Then Danny started speaking about how Mircalla was so not worth ending her life over, and how that girl was the reason so many horrible things had happened or were going to happen (to be honest, Laurel half-expected her to start blaming Mircalla for the earthquakes in the capital too), which led to the question she is now being forced to ponder._

_‘Of course her life was easier!’ J.P waves an arm around drunkenly ‘She wasn’t climbing walls from which a slip could mean accidental death.’_

_‘Or attending parties uninvited,’ Laf adds._

_‘Or messing with the most dangerous family in the whole of Styria, the head of which happens to……,’ Danny speaks, looks at Laurel’s face and stops abruptly ‘I’m sorry, but its true. She’s……….scary. I’m just saying, you need to decide if Mircalla is worth risking your life over, and even if you do somehow manage to escape, you don’t have anywhere you could go and live in peace. Also, you’d have to leave your father behind, and you know how heartbroken he’s going to be. This would destroy him and……’_

_‘Danny,’ Kirsch warns (he’s probably noticed that Laurel is on the verge of tears), but it’s already too late. Now she can’t stop thinking about her father and what the repercussions of her running away would be._

_‘As much as I hate to admit it, what Danny is saying is right,’ Laf points out, taking a swig of the bottle ‘You would be putting your life in jeopardy.’_

_‘I love her,’ Laurel says, shortly, and she can’t think of any other explanation for all the crazy she has been channeling lately. Life may have been easier when she wasn’t aware of Mircalla’s existence, but to be honest, she started thinking of herself as being alive only after she met the girl. It took Mircalla’s presence in her life to make her aware of the fragility of the heart beating in her chest, to make her realize the wondrous potential of the organ which could twist, turn, clench, somersault, speed up or even skip a beat at one smile from the girl she loved. It took the cracks in her heart from fighting with Mircalla to find out how sweet the sensation of reconciliation was. She registered the need for air only after Mircalla took her breath away. For the first time in her life, felt the need to hold on to and commit to somebody other than herself when she held Mircalla in her arms, and knew that she couldn’t bear to let this go. She smiles for the first time today, feeling her decision settle down and make peace with her soul._

_‘She wasn’t breaking into the most secure castle in Styria,’ J.P pipes up, seemingly unaware of the whole conversation in his drunken stupor._

_‘Out!’_

_A few minutes later, she’s barely cleared the remnants of her friends’ incessant snacking, when there is another rap on the door._

_‘What did you forget?’ she calls out, before opening the door._

_To Dame Karnstein._

_For all the mushy reasons she made up in her head that justified her eternal love for Mircalla and fearlessness of whoever was standing between the two of them, she can barely remember one, because Danny was right, the woman is scary. The expression on her face is the stuff children’s nightmares are made of, even if it is, for the most part, neutral. Her lips are set in a straight line, and there is a furious glint in her eyes, which looks so menacing she can’t stand to look at her. So she takes in the four tall, strong-looking, huge men standing behind her, and hopes they are not here to kill her._

_Which they possibly are._

_‘It’s so nice to finally meet you,’ Mircalla’s mother says (although her eyes say something along the lines of ‘I could kill you in your sleep, you pest’), and walks right in._

_Oh God._

2014

If she wasn’t so freaked out, she’d probably want to capture this moment and keep it stored somewhere for all of eternity.

The look on Carmilla’s face when J.P calls her Mircalla.

The expressions of her friends when he then proceeds to address them all by their names, and tells them it’s great to meet them again.

For that matter, she knows her face probably looks like a million bucks right now.

‘ **Based on my observation of your stunned faces, I presume you don’t know anything.’**

‘Know what?’ Perry asks suspiciously.

He ignores her, instead turning to Laura ‘ **Laurel, you really don’t remember**?’

‘My name is Laura,’ she tells him, and then points at Carmilla (who is still frozen and is staring at J.P like the screen holds all the secrets of the universe) ‘And her name is Carmilla, not Mircalla.’

‘ **Maybe not now** ,’ he says ‘ **But it was, a long, long time ago. Laurel was yours, Laura**.’

‘Why are we listening to this guy?’ Carmilla suddenly breaks out of her trance ‘This is Silas. Crazy shit happens. A dude on a pendrive knowing our names is hardly the strangest thing in the world. You wanna take him seriously, do it out of our room.’

‘Carm….,’ she chides, but is interrupted by J.P.

‘ **Our room**?’ he asks.

‘She’s my roommate,’ Laura clarifies. She is not prepared for his reaction to her statement.

‘ **That old hag**!’ bursts out of him (which is something to watch, considering he is a guy on a computer screen) ‘ **That evil crone! How dare she**?’

‘Um……’ Carmilla says.

‘ **Not you** ,’ he tells her ‘ **The Dame**.’

‘The who?’ It’s Kirsch this time.

‘ **The Dame. Dame Karnstein. You might know her as the Dean of Silas. And you** ,’ he looks at Carmilla **‘might know her as your mother**.’

‘What about Maman?’ Carmilla sits up straight, finally taking an interest, but is waved off by J.P.

‘ **I cannot believe she had the nerve to throw you in with each other. After all she did to you…**.’

‘I have literally no idea what he is talking about, Laura,’ Laf says.

‘Welcome to the club,’ Danny and Kirsch say in tandem and look at each other, disgusted.

‘ **You don’t remember anything about 1697, then?** ’

‘What is 1697?’

‘ **The year it all happened. You must have some recollection. Dreams, or snippets of conversations that make you feel like you’re simply repeating words you’ve said a long time**.’

How does he know?

The question is probably written on her face, because J.P smiles triumphantly ‘ **I knew it would have come to you. Being in such close proximity with each other probably was a trigger for all those memories.’**

‘Memories of what?’ she asks, feeling on edge. She is so close to answers, her teeth hurt from trying not to scream ‘Stop talking cryptic!’ at J.P.

‘ **Do you believe in past lives**?’

There is silence. Before Laura can articulate the ‘What the hell?’ going through her head, Carmilla starts laughing.

‘Oh come on. Are you saying that Laura and I are like reincarnated long-lost lovers?’

‘ **I never said anything about lovers, Mircalla** ,’ J.P calmly points out, and Carmilla looks like a deer caught in headlights.

‘Carmilla?’

‘The dreams,’ her roommate admits, grudgingly.

‘You dreamed of banging Laura?’ Laf asks, their voice vibrating with amusement, and Laura is so red right now, she could stop trains simply by standing in front of them.

‘Shut the fuck up, Ginger,’ Carmilla glares at them, and Laura is gratified to find that she is blushing too. Laf schools their expression into a serious one with great difficulty, and turns to J.P, who is watching with so much smugness, Laura kind of wants to smash the screen to wipe that expression off his face.

‘So, 1697?’

‘ **1697 was the year Laurel Hollis, along with Lafontaine and Kirsch, sneaked into Karnstein hall to meet Mircalla Karnstein, because I was serving at that ball, and had let a secret entrance open.’**

‘Why would you do that for us?’

‘ **Because we were friends**.’

‘We were bros?’ Kirsch asks him, hopefully.

 **‘If that is the abbreviated form of the word brothers, then, close enough, I suppose**.’

Kirsch sat back, completely convinced about his story now that he had ascertained they were ‘bros’ in a past life. Oh Jeez, the poor guy.

‘ **According to Laurel, Mircalla was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Her skin glowed, her beautiful eyes were a perfect mix of intense and bright, and her hair……..** ’

‘Can we have the cliff-notes version please?’ she interrupts J.P, her face burning again. She cannot believe she was such a sap in 1697.

Not that she believes J.P.

For the first time, J.P looks confused ‘ **The……what? I am not familiar with that term**.’

‘Just the important parts,’ Perry elaborates.

‘ **Oh** ,’ his face clears **‘Well, Laurel used to say Mircalla was the most important part of her life, so….’**

Laura faceplants onto the table.

‘Oh please,’ Laf tells a bemused J.P ‘Continue with your very detailed accounts of how passionately in love Laurel was with……OW!’

‘ **So, they fell in love** ,’ he continues ‘ **And then Mircalla’s mother arranged her marriage with some Count. So we made a plan to rescue Mircalla. But everything went wrong. I was captured and trapped into a candle. Kirsch and Danny never even made it to the Hall; there were so many armed men they had to retreat, Laf was almost captured, but Perry managed to get to them in time, and saved them from the Dame’s wrath. Laurel…….** ’ He tapers off, and Laura can guess what he was about to say.

‘What happened to her?’ Danny asks.

‘ **I never found out** ,’ he says, tactfully ‘ **Karnstein hall burned down a night before Mircalla’s wedding, when the Dame was away on business, and I suppose that’s where she died.’**

The dream. Oh God, Carmilla.

‘She was beaten to death, wasn’t she?’ she finds herself saying, out of the blue ‘Laurel, I mean. They lynched her, and then threw her body in the burning remains of Karnstein hall. That was why there was no body, and nobody ever found out.’

‘You don’t really believe this crap, do you?’ Carmilla snarks, but it lacks heart, and sounds to Laura like the things she says every time she is in denial about one of their moments.

Does she believe this? Like, truly, really, willing-to-wage-war-against-the-Dean-of-her-college-over-this believe? It sounds crazy, completely bonkers, but if you considered the strange, life-like dreams she’d been having, it seems kind of acceptable. But…….reincarnation was the kind of crazy even she couldn’t stomach. The idea of all of them living out a story already acted out about 300 years ago was ridiculous. How ridiculous, though? The kind of ridiculous that had always been her life since Carmilla walked into room 307? It is the most illogical thing she’d ever heard in her life, and because of that very fact, it makes perfect sense. The fire, the men beating her up, the girl in her head. No, wait. Carmilla in her head. The girl who runs for the hills every time life feels like déjà vu. The very same girl who is now scowling at J.P so hard, she may as well have been doing a non-verbal Avada-Kedavra on him.

‘Tell me more,’ she asks J.P.

‘Oh, come on, Laura,’ Carmilla groans ‘He is a pendrive. How do we know….?’

‘Hey, I thought she trapped you in a candle, dude,’ Kirsch speaks up.

‘ **She…….upgraded**?’

‘Right, my mother,’ Carmilla challenges him ‘What’s the deal with my mother. Is she reincarnated too? Why is she kidnapping girls?’

‘ **Oh, the Dame isn’t reincarnated** ,’ J.P tells her, like that’s something everybody already knew.

‘Really? How the hell is she here, then?’

‘ **She isn’t reincarnated, because she never died**.’

She never……….what?’

‘ **You are her daughter, aren’t you? Surely you already know that she is a witch.** ’

What? How? When?

All she wanted to do was go to college. This _really_ wasn’t her part of her plan.

_1697_

_‘I’d offer you refreshments, but my friends already ate those,’ she says, sitting in the chair opposite to the Dame and looking anywhere but right at her (because she may be talking to the mother of the girl she loves, the very deadly, powerful mother of the girl she loves, but basic courtesy is ingrained in her)._

_‘And found time to polish off a bottle of wine,’ the Dame notes, fingers picking at the edge of the tablecloth where there is a miniscule drop of spilled wine._

_Laurel stays silent, waits for the Dame to speak again._

_‘But what does that matter, anyway?’ she says, in a sweet, motherly voice that Laurel is terrified of even more ‘Let’s talk about why I’m actually here, darling. Although, you must know that already, don’t you?’_

_‘I have to confess that I don’t,’ she replies, deciding to play stupid, hoping against hope that the Dean doesn’t actually know anything, and is just bluffing her way through an interrogation._

_‘Oh, don’t do that, Laurel Hollis. I just know that you’re lying through your teeth, and its fruitless.’_

_‘Why ask then?’ Laurel asks, with a sudden burst of courage._

_‘Just a prelude to future occurrences. Not that it matters. What matters is that you listen to me and consider my proposition.’_

_She raises an eyebrow, waiting for Mircalla’s mother to continue._

_‘You are a child. And children make mistakes. What is important is that adults recognize those mistakes for what they are, spurts of mere immaturity, and forgive them.’_

_‘What are you trying to say?’_

_‘Well, this……dalliance with my daughter, it’s simply a pastime, isn’t it? A folly of youth. So, I’m prepared to overlook this imprudence, and I very graciously forgive you for it. She is getting married soon, and I’d really appreciate it if you forgot all about her.’_

_‘Forgot all about it?’_

_‘Of course, with the right monetary compensation, of course,’ the Dame tells her, smiling, and pulls out a bundle that clangs with movement ‘Men of law don’t earn all that much, do they? I daresay this will go a long way in helping you live comfortably.’_

_Keep calm, keep calm, she thinks, and is surprised when her teeth don’t grind themselves to pieces due to her gritting them. It makes her irate to think of Mircalla’s mother as being callous enough to ruin her daughter’s life. Furious that she thinks Laurel’s love can be bought. Like Mircalla was cattle, bought and sold for the right price._

_‘This isn’t enough,’ she says, after she is sure she won’t start screaming._

_A delighted smile spreads across the woman’s face ‘The price is negotiable. Anything you want.’_

_‘All the riches of the world,’ Laurel tells her, calmly ‘No, that isn’t enough. Along with that, I demand the moon. The stars. The sun. All the sunlight, the happiness of the world. Trapped light from every single star in the sky. Even that isn’t enough, but I suppose I can take it, if you can manage to give me that. Because that comes closest to what your daughter is worth. Is the price still negotiable now, Dame Karnstein?’_

_The Dame’s face changes, but it is so gradual she doesn’t notice until the mask slips away properly. First the smile drops, then her eyes lose that small façade of good cheer she was pretending to wear earlier._

_‘You are the same as your father; fools, both of you! I should have known you would be trouble, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. You make all these fancy speeches about loving my daughter, committing an abomination, a blasphemy……you do realize that you are just a child, don’t you? What can you offer Mircalla? A life of poverty? Seclusion and secrecy? Is that your idea of love?’_

_‘With all due respect, Dame Karnstein, it is better than being trapped in a loveless marriage, being miserable and alone. Is that what you want for your daughter? What she wants, does that count for nothing?’_

_‘It doesn’t matter what she wants,’ Mircalla’s mother hisses, and she is the most terrifying thing in Laurel’s world, menacing, cruel. A caricature of a real mother. A mother who cares. Who would go to the ends of the world for her child’s one smile. What Laurel imagines her mother to have been ‘Leave her alone. If I ever see you near her again, I will…..’_

_‘What? Hurt me?’_

_‘Oh no,’ the Dame chuckles ‘Not you. But Mircalla’s safety, I cannot guarantee.’_

_The blood drains out of Laurel’s face ‘You wouldn’t.’_

_‘Try me.’_

_‘She’s your daughter.’_

_‘Exactly. I know what’s best for her. Stay away.’_

_‘I’m not going to stop fighting for her.’_

_‘I expected as much, which is why I brought in……..reinforcements. Charles, Gottfried, Klaus, Dorsey, would you come in, please? We have a lesson to teach.’_

_‘You wouldn’t hit a woman,’ she addresses the men, desperately ‘You wouldn’t hurt a young girl.’_

_‘Of course they will,’ the Dean laughs ‘They work for me. They do whatever I want them to do. Oh, and Laurel, try not to fight too much, will you? Every blow you escape means one for Mircalla tonight.’_

_The first punch hits her in the abdomen, and she lets go._

_The men are careful not to hurt her where anyone can see the bruises. Careful, and lethally trained. Every kick sends a wave of pain shooting through her body, but she doesn’t make a sound. Every time a hit catches her off guard. She thinks of Mircalla._

_A slam against her shoulder._

**_Her eyes, the most perfect shade of dark brown._ **

_Punch to her stomach._

**_The glorious smile she bestowed upon her whenever Laurel did something she found naïve._ **

_Kick to her lower back._

**_Her husky voice._ **

_It probably lasts five minutes, but it feels like an hour, before the Dame finally orders her men to stop, and walks out of the house, telling her to think twice before informing her father, because ‘We wouldn’t want something to happen to him now, would we?’. Laurel drags herself to her room and closes the windows, before collapsing in bed, the last thing on her mind the image of Mircalla’s face._

_I love you, she thinks, and goes to sleep._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently joined tumblr, so you can find me there under Craploadsofawesomeness, if anybody has, like questions, or comments, or just wants to rip this fanfic apart :)


	19. Chapter 19

2014

‘So her mother is a witch, and she was Laura’s lover back in 1697?’

‘ **Yes**.’

‘I’m sorry, but that sounds ridiculous.’

‘For the first, and probably last time in my life, I actually agree with Xena.’

She has a headache. A huge, blinding, Jesus-what-the-hell-is-happening-in-this-crazy-place headache, and her friends aren’t making it easier. Everybody shot a ‘What?’ at J.P when he told them about Carmilla’s mother being a witch, and then started babbling about how unbelievable it all sounded, like she didn’t know already. Reincarnated long-lost lovers? Witches? She half-expected J.P to bring out vampires from his Data Card of Eternal Bullshit now.

Oh God, please don’t let him bring out vampires.

‘A witch, you said?’

‘ **Well, yes. What else could explain the existence of Silas?’**

‘What do you mean?’ Perry asks him, leaning forward.

**‘The whole village was destroyed by the Dame after Karnstein Hall burned down, and the ritual couldn’t be completed.’**

This is like watching Doctor Who without having any prior knowledge of what the Tardis is (Okay, that’s it, no more binge watching stuff on Netflix).

‘Whoa, bro,’ Kirsch stops her internal monologue ‘Dude, start from the beginning. What is all this about rituals? I’m getting confused.’

**‘Mircalla’s wedding, and the Dame’s insistence upon it, was originally meant to be a diversion. It wasn’t that she wanted Mircalla to get married, it was just that she wanted her wedding to coincide with the Full Moon, so she could carry out the sacrifice on schedule.’**

‘What sacrifice?’

**‘Mircalla.’**

‘Huh?’ Danny says, looking thoroughly confused.

**‘Mircalla was the sacrifice. Killing her would have granted the Dame immortality, because there is power in the spilling of blood of your own offspring. It would have been the ultimate sacrifice, the death of her own daughter. Unfortunately, Will messed up her plans.’**

‘How?’ Laura asks him, inspite of her initial disbelief.

**‘A few days, before the wedding, the Dame left the village, probably to arrange things for the ritual, leaving Will in charge of the security. That was when we planned to help Mircalla escape. Well, like I told you, that was a disaster. Laurel was the only one who managed to get near her, and…..’**

‘Will messed up,’ she completes his statement, not knowing where the words are coming from. There are images passing through her head, the burning building, Mircalla trapped behind the window, desperately banging on the glass, the men restraining her ‘He was supposed to capture Mircalla and wait for Dame Karnstein to get back, but he got angry at her. She probably said some things to provoke him into making mistakes, but it backfired. He had his men beat me……..Laurel in front of Mircalla, and then burned her alive in Karnstein Hall.’

‘That’s why you’re scared of fire!’ Laf exclaims, turning to Carmilla realization dawning on their face ‘That day, at the Lustig, when you passed out……’

‘You passed out?’ Danny asks her roommate, looking highly amused ‘I would have paid to see that.’

Carmilla scowls at her briefly, then returns to glaring at J.P.

**‘So the Dame’s plan was foiled, and in her rage, she destroyed the village. Killed the villagers. There was mindless slaughter carried out by her army of evil. Witches, spirits, dead bodies bewitched into rising again and doing her bidding. She razed the village to the ground, and created Silas.’**

‘Inferi,’ she murmurs, inspite of herself.

‘No, zombies!’ Laf and Kirsch proclaim, sounding excited.

‘Idiots,’ Danny says aloud ‘Complete idiots.’

‘J.P,’ Perry suddenly speaks, her voice startling everyone as it comes after a long time ‘How did she manage to survive this long, if she couldn’t sacrifice her daughter?’

J.P looks sheepish **‘That is something I don’t know. Obviously there is a sort of sacrifice involved, but I’m not sure what it is or how it is carried out. Her plan is working out fine though, with all of you having taken birth in the same cycle, at the same time, and her search for Mircalla to have been successful….’**

‘What search? What are you talking about?’ Carmilla cuts in abruptly, her voice sharp.

 **‘You think your adoption was a coincidence?** ’ J.P asks **‘She has been searching for you ever since Mircalla died in the fire, to complete the sacrifice so she can gain immortality. Every decision she has taken about your life has been leading up to your death.’**

She expects Carmilla to laugh it off, maybe make a joke about past-lives and supernatural beings once again. She is definitely not prepared for the way her roommate jumps up after listening to J.P, and storms off angrily.

‘What the……..’

‘I’ll go,’ she volunteers (it’s not like anybody else is jumping at the prospect of talking to Carmilla, a fact that makes her immensely sad).

She finds her on the rooftop of the building, pacing back and forth agitatedly.

‘Why are you here?’ Carmilla asks her, not stopping.

‘Why are _you_ here?’

‘That son of a bitch J.P,’ she mutters viciously ‘Saying crap like that….’

‘Okay,’ Laura interrupts her, because this has gone on long enough ‘You cannot seriously still be denying that what he’s saying sounds very……….okay, I was going to say reasonable, but that wouldn’t be fitting, considering all the, um, supernatural stuff, but you need to admit that most of what he says fits into our current situation.’

‘I cannot believe you’re buying into it.’

‘And I cannot believe that you aren’t! I mean, you’ve had the weird dreams, and other strange memories crop up in your thoughts too, right? Would it kill you to just, you know consider that what he’s saying could be true?’

‘I can’t, okay!’

‘Why not?’

‘Because admitting he’s right about……about all of it, about Maman searching for me, seeking me out, just to complete some twisted sacrifice, to kill me would just about destroy me. All my life, I’ve convinced myself that her indifference was at best an inability to show affection, all the pain she put me through were simply mistakes on her part. Those days when I was a kid, and all I wanted was for her to love me like the other parents loved their daughters, all those prayers were in vain. When I hoped, deluded myself into thinking that someday she would love me back, she wanted me to grow up so she could kill me, all in the name of some weird Satanic ritual to gain immortality. I grew out of it eventually, and hoped that one day I would be free of her torture, and now if I listen to J.P, I’ll have to admit that I’ll never have a chance. I never really had one. I was always going to be……’

‘Carm…..’ Laura whispers, stopping her in the middle of her hysterical rant, hesitates for a moment, then disregarding everything she has ever known about her roommate (she doesn’t like to be touched, she isn’t used displays of affections), moves forward and envelopes her in a hug. Carmilla stiffens up, then slowly relaxes.

She is trembling, Laura can feel it, but she doesn’t know whether it’s from the cold or whatever just transpired. She runs her hands over Carmilla’s shoulders and tries to calm her down. The dark haired girl is taller than she is, but in her arms, feels so small, her body shaking, and Laura hurts. This place behind her chest is clenching and twisting with each shiver she feels against her, and she is so in love. Sometime during all the roommate battles, weird shenanigans, disturbing dreams, confusing memories and recon missions, she had managed to fall in love with her incredibly beautiful mess of a roommate, and now, standing on a rooftop, with said roommate in her arms, she can barely contain it. The feeling is taking over her, bursting inside her chest, pounding with every beat of her heart against her chest. _Baby,_ she thinks, almost says out loud, but catches herself. It’s not time yet. Later, maybe.

‘You still have a chance,’ she says.

‘Laura…..’

‘You still have a chance,’ she repeats firmly ‘I won’t let her hurt you.’

‘You can’t promise me that, cupcake……’

‘Carmilla,’ she murmurs ‘Just, stop.’

Then she presses a kiss to Carmilla’s hair, and loses herself for a while.

_1697_

_She hurts all over._

_It’s not just a figure of speech. She’s heard Kirsch and Laf say it a lot of times in her life, usually when they were suffering from no more than what could be best described as a very mild sprain, but this, what she feels right now, is a lot of hurt. Inside, outside, sideways, diagonally, everywhere._

_The physical part she can……well, handle isn’t a word she can use, because ouch, but she is dealing with it as best as she can. Being away from Mircalla isn’t helping. How do you heal the loss of a presence? Deal with a huge hole in your chest, where your heart used to be? Stop yourself from craving her voice, when you hear your friends talk? Look forward to living, when you can’t really see a reason for you to, without her in front of you?_

_‘What do you need, Laur?’ Danny asks her, pressing ice packed into a thick piece of cloth to her abdomen, where the bruises are the worst, even though she knows what the answer will be._

_‘Mircalla,’ she groans out ‘I need Mircalla.’_

_Mircalla is the only one who can help her. Take away her pain. A part of Laurel knows that she is being selfish for wanting her, but she can’t help but wish that Mircalla was here, holding her through every agonizing throb of her wounds._

_‘Mircalla isn’t here, Laurel, I’m sorry…..’ Danny tells her, but she is in no mood to listen. So she turns away from the comforting press of the icepack and tries to ignore the pain and go to sleep._

_She drifts in and out of dreams, sleeps fitfully, and dreams of Mircalla in black and white. Dreams of the clearing by the river where they used to meet, of the tree she once taught Mircalla to climb. Dreams of the afternoon she spent with her head on Mircalla’s lap, and the other girl told her stories of all the places she had been to. Mircalla leans down to kiss her, and suddenly it starts raining. She doesn’t know why its raining. It wasn’t raining when they were here last time, dream-Laurel thinks, and then hears her name._

_‘Laurel.’_

_‘Laurel.’_

_She wakes up when she hears her name the third time, suddenly disoriented because the girl she was dreaming of is now sitting next to her bed, and saying her name. Mircalla is here. Mircalla is here. Oh God, Mircalla is here._

_How is Mircalla here?_

_Her confusion does nothing to stop the wave of utter joy bursting through her chest, though. The pain of the bruises fades to the backdrop of her mind, no more unbearable, and her heart speeds up briefly then settles back to the steady rhythm it always falls into whenever she is around Mircalla. The atmosphere shifts into the blanket of peace that always surrounds her when Mircalla is near, and Laurel raises a hand to cup her cheek, which is damp._

_‘You’re crying,’ she whispers, confused._

_Mircalla smiles through her tears for a sweet second, then her smile falters as her eyes move to her stomach. She is covered by a thin sheet, but obviously she has an inkling of what transpired._

_‘Laurel,’ she says, reverently, her voice low as if ashamed ‘I am so, so, sorry sweetheart.’_

_‘What are you talking about?’_

_‘My mother……she told me what she did.’_

_‘I still don’t understand how that translates to this being your fault.’_

_‘Don’t play stupid,’ Mircalla chides her ‘It’s all my fault. I am the only one who is responsible for this. I…..those men…..they hurt you, they hurt you, Laurel because of me. I am the most…..’_

_‘Stop,’ Laurel interrupts her, mid-speech ‘It’s not your fault. She had me beat up because I was shooting my mouth off, not that I regret it. No offense to you personally, but your mother is a vile, vile woman.’_

_‘I know,’ Mircalla says, her voice suddenly taking on a sudden vehement tone that sounds like barely-restrained fury ‘I don’t see how, but one day, she’ll get what’s coming to her.’ Then her demeanor changes, her body visibly shrinking due to shame ‘That doesn’t excuse the fact that if we hadn’t been in love, none of this would have happened and you would still be safe.’_

_‘It’s not like there was a choice. I was already gone by the time I talked to you at that party, and there was no way you could ever have resisted my charm,’ she wiggles her eyebrows up and down, trying to get Mircalla to smile, and it is successful ‘Besides, it doesn’t hurt all that much, really.’_

_‘Really?’ the dark haired girl arches an eyebrow at her, clearly skeptical._

_‘No,’ Laurel gives up the pretence ‘It hurts like crazy. I was just saying that to be a hero. But it is better now that you’re here. Speaking of, how are you here?’_

_‘I was sent by mother to show my betrothed around our village, so after two very boring hours of hearing him brag about his estates and land, and horses, I politely excused myself for a while. He is still wandering the marketplace.’_

_‘Mircalla!’_

_‘Actually I should be leaving right about now, or he’ll get suspicious.’_

_‘Don’t leave me,’ Laurel says, her hand tightening on Mircalla’s, and she is grinning, but it doesn’t really seem like a joke. She doesn’t want Mircalla to leave, she never wants Mircalla to leave ‘You should stay. Make him wander a little….’_

_The door opened with a bang, and Perry ran in, panting ‘Mircalla, dear, Lord Friedrich is looking for you.’_

_‘Let him look,’ Mircalla replies, kissing Laurel soundly, and taking her breath away._

_‘Mircalla!’_

_‘Go,’ Laurel says ‘Go, before he comes looking for you here. When you get back home, though, pack a small bag, and keep all of your important possessions in it, alright? As many clothes as you can manage.’_

_‘You cannot be serious, Laurel, you’re still thinking of eloping after what my mother did to you?’_

_‘Mircalla, we really need to go.’_

_‘Did you actually think your mother could stop me?’ she replies._

_‘Well, I’m not…’_

_‘Mircalla,’ Perry grabs one of her arms, and starts dragging her away._

_‘Bye, sweetheart,’ Laurel calls out ‘Pack a bag. And be prepared. And…..I love you.’_

_Mircalla shoots her a glare, and then disappears out the door._

2014

‘So, we got the book.’

‘And I watched Elvira faint, so win-win!’

‘Danny!’

Carmilla shoots Danny a weak glare, but doesn’t say anything, still tired from the library fiasco part 2 that took place earlier in the day.

J.P had told them the names of all the books that could help them in finding out about witchcraft and satanic rituals, and ordered them to obtain them from the library so they could solve the mystery of the Dean’s immortality. Laf volunteered, of course, but Perry put her foot down and refused to let them go, citing their tendency to seek out trouble as the reason (Yeah, right, if it was up to Perry, she would never let Laf out of her sight, she isn’t exactly subtle when it comes to heart eyes). So Laura agreed to go with Danny, and she dragged Carmilla along to show her the painting  (which had been forgotten in the mad rush to get out of the library the last time), which resulted in an extremely fun trip to the place, with Danny and Carmilla glaring and trading barbs the whole way there.

But that wasn’t the strangest thing that took place that evening. When Laura showed the painting to Carmilla, she was expecting her roommate to express a bit of shock, nothing too drastic (because ‘drama just ain’t my style, cupcake’). Carmilla, though, she took one hard look at the painting of the Dean, herself and Will, and fell into a dead faint.

It took five whole minutes to revive her, and when she woke up, she was…….weird.

She doesn’t know how to explain it, how to explain the expressions that passed over Carmilla’s face when she saw Laura after opening her eyes. There was shock, surprise, relief, and finally, what Laura can best describe as utter joy, before she schooled her face back into a neutral mask. She refused to tell them what had caused her to pass out, and flatly refused a gleeful Danny’s offer to carry her back to the dorm (‘We don’t want you to faint again like a damsel in distress’), so they simply grabbed the books and ran out of there.

Even now, Laura can just feel her roommate sneaking glances at her every once in a while, in the middle of turning the pages of the last book in the pile, which is written in Sumerian (yeah, apparently Carmilla, in addition to knowing how to waltz and being a genius in her Philosophy course, also happens to be fluent in a variety of languages).

‘This is such crap!’ Carmilla exclaims ‘These pages are all empty! At least, they could have written ‘None of your fucking business’ here so I wouldn’t even bother, but no, they had to leave the pages blank, like it’s some sort of……Ouch!’

(Add that to the strange things at Silas: Books reveal their secrets when exposed to blood. Even a minimal amount of blood is enough, like a papercut bleed. Just a papercut and words will start appearing on the pages, like bloody Hogwarts. Silas is ruining Harry Potter for her.)

‘Lophiiformes,’ Carmilla reads out ‘The light that devours. Then some blah blah about Gods and……fish? Then……..some more blah about blood and sacrifices…….and okay, I got it. Five virgins to be sacrificed on a full moon every twenty years for appeasing the Light, and…….that grants you immense powers.’

‘That’s it!’ Laf says, excitedly ‘That’s what keeps your mother eternally young. Or, well, young for twenty years, but……that’s why the girls went missing!’

So that solved the mystery of the missing girls. Every mystery out of the way now. All they have to do now is to find a way to end the Dean, before the full moon arrives, and she can kill Betty….

‘Oh God, Betty!’ she exclaims.

‘Oh God, the full moon!’ Perry says, checking her phone ‘It’s three days away!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently joined tumblr, so you can find me there under Craploadsofawesomeness, if anybody has, like questions, or comments, or just wants to rip this fanfic apart :)


	20. Chapter 20

_1698_

_Laurel isn’t exactly a praying person. She has to go to church because her father insisted on her having a faith after her mother’s death, but she spends that time joking and laughing with her friends at the back. She has never paid attention to the preacher, never carefully read the Bible by going over every passage and psalm. She doesn’t believe in the idea of God in that religious text. How could she, when the only proof of divinity she has ever known talked to her every afternoon till last month, when the only miracle she knew was the fact that the most wonderful, perfect girl existed in her world, and all her prayers, wishes and needs, centered around and were fulfilled by the same girl who was very much human? For some reason though, a long-forgotten passage she had read ages ago, suddenly crops up in her mind now._

**_Love is patient, love is kind_ ** _._

_She wishes her love had been patient. Had her love been patient and able to wait, endure, she wouldn’t have hurried into things. Maybe she would have thought over things, and not let desperation get the better of her feelings. Maybe she would have seen all the warning signs, and given in to her suspicions, checking every detail twice, thrice._

**It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.**

_Envy is a natural part of love, she had thought, just a harmless side effect when you handed over the reins of your life to someone else. Except, what if it wasn’t all that harmless? What if her envy and the fact that she couldn’t stand the girl she loved betrothed to someone else the reason all of this was happening?_

**_It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs_ ** _._

_Self-seeking. That which does not seek things for itself. A love so unselfish, the only thing it takes into consideration is the object of its affections. Well, that was one department she had mastered. After all, Mircalla was the center of her universe, the reason she did everything she did. But what if her impossible adoration for Mircalla and the need to rescue her made Laurel utterly oblivious to everything apart from that, like her own safety?_

**_Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres._ **

_She had made a promise, to never let anything happen to Mircalla, to always keep her safe. Vowed to stand between Mircalla and the forces wanting to hurt her. She would have taken  a thousand blows and suffered a thousand deaths before letting anything touch the girl she loved. Shed a million tears over Mircalla, because she had known that everything would work out in the end. She had hoped. Persevered._

_And look how that turned out._

_She thinks about love now. About the real definition of love, and about her love for Mircalla. The all-encompassing, passionate love she had for Mircalla. And as she strains against her captors now, standing and struggling in front of Will Eisen, she wonders that, if this is where her love has landed Mircalla in, has she been doing it wrong all this time?_

2014

‘So you guys go to wherever this place is, get the sword thingy, and come back safe, okay?’

‘I cannot believe you’re sending me with….’ bursts out of both Carmilla and Danny’s mouths simultaneously, before they stop and glare at each other.Laura restrains herself from rolling her eyes, because this is really getting old. They have been making snide comments targeting the other all through the research session, which lasted a whole day; it was surprisingly difficult to find a weapon to kill a light, and J.P’s helpful suggestions of websites and old manuscripts only turned up solutions like How to Destroy a Rainbow and Fungus killers and Ways to end a Tarantula-Anaconda hybrid, which, by the way, was the most disgusting thing she had ever seen in her life. Finally Laf unearthed a cleverly-concealed footnote in the old Sumerian book, and that was how they read about the existence and the rumored home of the Blade of Hastur, the sword designed to consume the soul of whoever wielded it. So Laura is sending Danny and Carmilla together to retrieve it because A) She doesn’t actually believe there exists a sword, so there is no danger of consumption of souls of whatever or whoever (she remembers Danny saying brightly ‘Besides, we could just get Elvira here to handle the sword. What will it consume if the wielder is a soulless demon?’) and B) She has a plan.

Danny and Carmilla don’t have to be so immature. They have more important things to worry about. Actually, she has more important things to worry about. Speaking of….

‘Danny, can I talk to you in private?’

Carmilla raises an eyebrow and her glare deepens even further (which, again, Laura has more important things to do, but…..is she jealous?), as she walks out of room 307 with Danny following.

‘What’s up, Laura?’ Danny asks her, leaning against the wall.

‘I need you to do me a favor,’ she says, hesitating, because this is probably going to sound very strange to her friend.

‘Okay…..?’

‘I need you to keep Carmilla distracted until after the full moon is over.’

Danny narrows her eyes, and looks at her ‘What are you planning?’

‘Stuff.’

‘Laura!’

‘I have a plan, okay?’ Laura tells her ‘And I don’t know if this blade thing actually exists or not, so you’ll have to get creative with your excuses, but under no circumstance will you let her exit our room. She is the only one the Dean wants, so trap her in a chair if you must, but do not let her get out of the room. I don’t even want to think of what will happen if the Dean finds her…….’ She breaks off, and shudders.

‘What about you? Will you be in danger?’

‘Oh, absolutely not,’ she lies through her teeth, and just knows that Danny can see right through her, because her lying voice comes out all hearty and cheerful, and not like her real voice at all.

‘Maybe I should talk to the Summer Soc girls or……’ Danny runs a hand through her hair, frustrated.

‘You know they won’t do anything until you give them a detailed explanation, which we really don’t have time for,’ Laura tells her ‘Besides, I’ll be fine. Just remember what I told you. Keep Carmilla safe, okay?’

Danny nods slowly, then abruptly pulls her into a hug ‘Be safe, please. I might end up killing Kirsch if you aren’t around.’

She smiles, and is about to say something to reassure the taller girl, but Carmilla’s voice cuts in.

‘If your lover’s goodbye is over, can we go get the damn sword, please?’

‘What are you…?’ she starts, but Danny interrupts her with a ‘Jealous, Elvira?’, and Carmilla’s subsequent sputters and blush almost makes everything she is about to do worth it.

After they’re gone, and its only Laf, Perry and Kirsch left in the room, she turns to them.

‘It’s time.’

‘Laura,’ Laf says ‘You don’t have to do this. And when I tell you not to do something reckless, you should definitely not do it.’

‘This is the only way,’ she insists, looking at J.P.

‘ **What Laura is saying is correct** ,’ he confirms ‘ **But a lot of the plan depends upon the sword** …’

‘Which we’re not sure exists,’ Perry states.

**‘Regardless, you’d be putting yourself in jeopardy. Take it from me, living forever as a candle is very unappealing. And if she’s being especially cruel, which she will be, considering the fact that you messed up her sacrifice, she will probably try to kill you.’**

‘Okay, stop,’ she interrupts J.P, because Kirsch is looking like he’s going to burst into tears ‘I’ll be fine,’ she reiterates, hoping that if she says it enough times, she will be able to believe it herself.

They take it in turns to hug her, then she steps back ‘Kirsch, the Zetas. Laf, the Science department, and if you can convince them, the Alchemy club too. Perry, everyone else. And keep an eye on the tracker. I’m counting on you, guys.’

They wave their goodbyes and she’s off.

Based on their research, only four people had been kidnapped this year. The Dean was still one girl short for her backup ritual sacrifice, which meant that Will would still be on the prowl. If he managed to find the girl who had been his mother’s greatest adversary……

‘I thought you were wiser than this,’ comes a voice from her left, along with the sounds of leisurely footsteps ‘The dark isn’t a safe place anymore, you know.’

‘Yeah, well, Will, you’re the one responsible for that,’ she replies, standing up from the bench she had been sitting on, and holds her hands out when he brandishes a rope. She makes sure to keep her fists as far apart from each other as she can without it being noticeable when he ties the knot, so he thinks her hands are tied tighter than they actually are. Thank you, Google, she thinks, and then starts walking beside him.

‘I hope you appreciate the fact that I’m not knocking you out and carrying you to Mother,’ he says, strangely chatty, considering the fact that he is, for all intents and purposes, taking her to her death.

‘Very gallant of you,’ she deadpans ‘Although, it might be a little difficult for you to knock me out. I am  trained in Krav Maga.’

‘That may be so, but there are a few things you pick up on when you’ve been around for around three hundred years.’

‘Yeah, how did that work out?’ she asks him, taking note of her surroundings. They are moving into a part she has never been to, and the ground seems to be sloping downwards. He grunts out an answer as they exit a creepy building, and keep walking into clear ground.

‘Mother was angry, of course. And it took her a long time to……forgive my mistakes, but she did. And over the years, I have proved my worth countless times.’

‘I’m sure you have,’ she sarcastically replies, and they fall silent for the rest of the journey.

It takes forever in her opinion, but she can tell exactly when they have arrived, because

A)     She can see the Dean and the four girls, tied up in a corner.

B)      There is a light. And lights are supposed to be hopeful, optimistic and symbols of happiness, but it is easily the creepiest thing she has ever seen. The particles of the light are pulsing, throbbing like a mass of worms, and its bright, like blindingly bright, so she closes her eyes.

C)      A second after she registers the above facts, she collapses.

Her head is hit with the most intense wave of pain she has ever experienced in her life (and a part of her, crazily enough, thinks of Harry Potter and his scar). Except, it’s not Voldemort, it’s the Dean who is probably triggering this. And instead of her dad, she sees Carmilla.

There is a garbled mess of images running through her head. She sees Carmilla in a carriage in the afternoon sun; talking to her at a party, drunk from the champagne and her presence; all the times they spent on the tree; the day Carmilla (Mircalla, her brain nudges her, and oddly enough, she accepts it) slapped her and kissed her; the news of her marriage; all the subsequent clandestine meetings; their disastrous attempt to escape; Mircalla trapped in the burning remains of Karnstein; being beaten up by mean, and then darkness.

She wakes up suddenly, her memory restored.

_1698_

_One of the most important things her father has ever taught her is to never bend to somebody else’s will. To never beg, to never bow, to never admit defeat. My girl does not lose, he had always said when she was a child, and she had always risen up and tried to beat him again._

_She remembers that, and feels briefly ashamed, but lets that pass in favor of more important things to do. Like begging for Mircalla’s life._

_‘You can kill me,’ she sobs out, desperately ‘You can kill me, Will, just please, please, let her go. I’ll do anything, I’ll leave her alone, I’ll….’_

_‘What a pity, the only daughter of lawman Edwin Hollis, detective supreme, down on her knees, begging for her life…’ Will drawls._

_‘It’s not my life I’m begging for,’ she shoots back._

_‘What does everybody see in that brat?’ he muses aloud ‘Mother is always talking about her glittering girl, like she is something special, and not the common whore I know her to be….’_

_Blind fury takes over her and she charges, unmindful of the men trying to hold her back. How dare he, how dare he call Mircalla a….That worthless brat, the over-entitled, over-indulged piece of scum who wasn’t worthy to walk the earth Mircalla had graced with her footsteps…._

_‘That temper is going to get you in trouble……well, I was going to say someday, but that someday is right now.’_

_‘How dare you…’_

_‘How dare **you** _?’ _he questions_ _,_ _an ugly scowl marring his face ‘You are but a peasant, an unworthy girl who somehow managed to bamboozle my sister. I am the one with the power here, you understand? I am going to kill the girl you love in front of you, and you won’t be able to do anything about it. At all.’_

_She hates the thought of her defenses being so down that she is reduced to begging in front of this vile man, but she thinks of Mircalla, and God, she would do anything for Mircalla._

_‘Will, please,’ she tries to reason, but he quiets her with a sharp word._

_‘It’s time,’ he says ‘Karnstein Hall is on fire tonight.’_

_Karnstein hall is indeed on fire, but that is not the part she is concerned about. Mircalla is in there, trapped._

_‘NO!!!!!’she screams, but the people stopping her don’t let go, instead one of them replies with a punch to her abdomen .The pain registers but only as a blip in a large ocean, her whole focus is on Mircalla. She has never known this much fear and panic before, her blood has frozen in her veins, her heart is beating out of her chest with adrenaline, and the only thing in her mind is a loud ‘Kill me, spare her’._

_She kicks wildly around, trying to break free, but the men tighten their death grip on her, and hit her again and again. It had never crossed her mind that she might somehow find herself in this situation, trapped uselessly while the girl she loves is being burned alive. She has never known this much agony in her life, and it hurts._

_She looks up and Mircalla has disappeared. She tries to fight her captors off, but a blow catches her in the head, and her world goes black, the last thing on her mind being Mircalla._

2014

She feels fury.

It’s not a feeling she is used to experiencing, especially not when confronted by an all powerful witch with the power to end your existence (the correct feeling in this situation is fear), but she has no space in her head to be scared, not when the two people responsible for Carmilla’s death are standing in front of her. The man who had her burned alive and Laura beaten to death, and the woman who wanted to sacrifice her in a bid for power.

‘Where is my daughter?’ the Dean asks her.

‘Somewhere safe,’ she replies, looking the woman straight in the eye, and desperately hoping this place isn’t too difficult for her friends to track her down.

‘Oh, I hope she isn’t out there looking for the blade of Hastur,’ she says, and at Laura’s look of surprise, smiles cruelly ‘What do you think of me, dear? I am the most powerful witch on earth, you don’t think I know of every weapon that poses a danger to me? That blade is useless against me. Besides, it consumes the soul of whoever is unlucky enough to hold it. Also, do you think my army will stand idly by while you children attack?’

Laura takes in the sheer number of people standing behind the Dean.

‘My real family,’ Carmilla’s mother waves a hand towards them, proudly ‘Witches from countries across the world.’

‘I don’t get it,’ she says suddenly ‘You could have killed Carmilla anytime. She lived with you. Why wait this long?’

‘Her eighteenth birthday,’ the Dean replies, apparently in an accommodating mood ‘Tonight at the stroke of midnight would be the perfect time. Besides, the sacrifice has to be made willingly.’

‘That’s ridiculous,’ bursts out of her ‘Why would Carmilla agree to her own death?’

‘The same reason she would have agreed to kill herself back in 1698. For you, dear. You being here, is the best thing that could ever have happened. I know my daughter. I know she will show up to save you.’

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no…….

What has she done? Why did she ever think this plan up? Her only hope now is that Danny can manage to keep her from coming here….

A loud rumbling breaks her train of thought. A sound growing in intensity, and the glimmer of flickering lights in the distance.

‘What the….?’ Will mutters beside her, and his query is answered by the mob of angry torch yielding students of Silas.

It’s a battlefield, and she has never seen anything like this, ever.

The next half hour is a blur of untying her wrists, going over to help the girls escape, grabbing a torch from a very-helpful Kirsch, and declaring war on the witches and zombies that pop out of inconvenient places and stagger towards you in their quest for brains. There is Laf hitting anything that moves around them, Kirsch and his Zeta bros screaming ‘ATTACK’ and going for the dead people (because Zetas don’t hurt no hotties, even when they are evil as shit), and Perry mostly ducking and swatting with no particular aim. It’s the Dean who waves a hand and creates a circle of fire around her to prevent anybody from attacking. The Dean who has made it a personal mission to kill her in the most painful way possible, judging by the balls of fire that she keeps shooting at her in between ducking and slashing through the torch Laura keeps waving at her. Laura is holding her own, though. She may only be a 19 year old girl fighting for her school, but she’ll be damned if she lets this old hag win. It’s only when she hears a familiar voice shout a ‘ONWARDS, SUMMER SOCIETY!’ that Carmilla’s mother manages to catch her in the shoulder with a painful blow.

‘Maman!’ she hears, and does two things simultaneously. She mentally warns Carmilla to stay away, and mentally swoons that she showed up to save her ‘Don’t…….dont hurt her. I’m the one you want. You can have me. You can sacrifice me.’

‘Carmilla,’ she grits out ‘With all due respect, shut the fuck up.’

‘Good to see you too, cupcake,’ Carmilla snarks, but Laura can hear the relief in her voice. The Dean suddenly loosens her hold, and Laura scampers away.

‘Carm,’ she calls out, but her roommate pays her no attention.

‘Laura,’ she replies, circling her mother with a sword in her hand ‘Go.’

‘But…..’

‘Please, cupcake. This is between me and mother. Go.’

The order is clear, so grudgingly Laura runs off and joins in the circle of students battling Will. He is powerful, Laura has to give him that.

‘The asshole isn’t dying, Laura,’ Laf says, fighting alongside her ‘Why is the asshole not dying, Laura?’

‘You are children,’ he says, viciously attacking two Zetas ‘Mere mortals who can’t….’

He doesn’t get to finish that statement though, because the next thing she knows, he is going up in flames. Perry appears from behind him.

‘Did I kill him?’ she asks, incredulous, but her small voice is lost in the cheer of the students.

‘That was so hot,’ Laf says, and she doesn’t want to say ‘I told you so’ because they are so endearingly sweet.

And the fight continues.

Laura has lost track of how many witches and dead bodies she has burned by the time the shout goes up. One moment she is killing a man, the other she is aware of the people jostling her to get to the exit, because ‘Hotties and Bros! The place is going down!’

She turns towards Carmilla who is still fighting her mother.

‘Carmilla!’ she screams.

‘Go on, cupcake’ Carmilla calls back ‘I’m right behind you.’

‘I’m not leaving without you!’

‘Kirsch!’

It takes Kirsch and Danny to drag her out of the building, and then ten Summer Soc sisters to stop her from going back in. So she watches as Kirsch goes in to find Carmilla. She watches as the building cracks and crumbles. She watches as the light grows impossibly, and then fades out into black. She watches as the students beside her tend to their wounds, uncaring about the girl who is in there, battling her mother for them.

Finally, she watches, as Kirsch returns out of the ruins without Carmilla.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently joined tumblr, so you can find me there under Craploadsofawesomeness, if anybody has, like questions, or comments, or just wants to rip this fanfic apart :)


	21. Chapter 21

2014

Laura wishes everyone would just leave her alone.

Two days have passed since the war of Silas, and life seems to have receded back to normal for every student here, or at least, as normal as Silas allows. The missing girls have been restored, and Betty dropped by her room to express her deepest sympathies. She has been living in the Summer Society building, because when the question of the girls’ housing came up , Laura thought of her sleeping in Carmilla’s bed, occupying Carmilla’s space, and nearly burst into tears. It seemed unbearable, almost obscene that somebody would try to live there. As if Carmilla could be replaced that easily.

People keep dropping by. Perry came over at mealtimes and forced her to eat, Danny and Kirsch tried to get her to come out in the open and do normal people stuff (like ‘living’, Kirsch had said, which had made her think of Carmilla’s death, and that was it, she had started crying). Laf was the only one she could stand around her, because they didn’t make her do anything she didn’t want to. Just sat next to her quietly, and let her blubber all over them as she mused about what had occurred and what could have been. What Carmilla and she could have been.

‘Maybe you should make a video, Laura,’ they had said yesterday evening after they’d tried to make her watch Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and she had started sobbing when Harry kissed Cho, because she never got to kiss Carmilla (not in this life, anyway), and this really wasn’t fair ‘And I’m not telling you what to do, I mean, I don’t want to force you into anything, but maybe it’ll be good for you. Therapeutic or something like that. Talking about your feelings might get it out in the open……maybe give you closure.’

‘Which is what brings me here,’ she addresses the computer screen now ‘Welcome gentle viewers, to The Wreckage of Silas Part 2. You’ve pretty much heard the basics from my friends or “the heroes of Silas”, as Kirsch refers to us, but if you don’t remember, well, I sent Danny and Carm…..Carmilla,’ she chokes over Carmilla’s name, still unable to say it without it sending a stab of pain through her chest ‘To get the blade of Hastur, and then set off to get caught by Will, so he would have five girls for the sacrifice, and Danny would keep Carmilla trapped in our room so she wouldn’t get ki…..killed.

‘But that did not work, because, no, wait, that part came later. The Dean was talking to me, and telling me about her evil plan to take over the world when Kirsch, Perry, and Laf along with the rest of the students of Silas burst into the place and declared war on the witches she had standing around for backup. So the Dean raised these weird dead bodies from the ground, and they started shuffling towards us to attack, while she herself picked me to fight with her…….because 300 year-old feud and all that. When she actually had me trapped and was about to end my life…..I heard Carmilla’s voice telling her mother to spare me, and take her instead,’ she smiles sadly through her tears, no longer able to keep them in ‘The idiot fought her mother for me. Battled an all-powerful witch with nothing but a stupid sword in her hand. And then, ordered me to go away because that was between her and the Dean, which, like an idiot I listened to.’

Laura rubs at her eyes, furiously trying to get rid of the tears, takes a deep breath, and continues ‘Then Perry killed Will. She actually, honest to God, destroyed a powerful witch’s second in command just by sticking out her hand in the dark and burned him up, like he was nothing. After that, things were kind of easy. For us, anyway. When the building threatened to fall down, there was a mess of students just rushing towards the entryway to get out. Kirsch and Danny had to grab me and drag me out of there, because, Carm, she was still fighting her mother and the Dean wasn’t showing any signs of losing, and she told me to get out, but I couldn’t……’

‘Kirsch and his bros went to check the area around the ruins, because the rest of it was still unstable, but there was no sign of Carmilla. Or the Dean. Or the light. I guess she really, actually, managed to do it. She defeated her mother. She saved us all,’ Laura pauses, takes a deep breath ‘In other events, Silas is being rebuilt, and the broken parts are being restored, all by the students, because turns out, nobody knows the school even exists except for the……Board of Directors, who nobody can get a hold of, because Silas school records are woefully inadequate, and nobody can figure out the Dean’s password. We have tried.’

(They had. Apparently it’s not Iwanttokillmydaughterandherroommatewhohappentobepastlifelovers1697)

‘In the meantime, a lot of things changed. Laf and Perry have been spending a lot of time together, and I think they are…..dating? I caught them kissing yesterday when they thought I was asleep, which would be cute, except for the fact that….ew, because it’s kind of like catching your parents making out or something. Kirsch has been following Danny around like a puppy ever since she saved him from getting eaten by the Hungry Light, and her reactions are hilarious……..it’s just that I don’t feel like laughing a lot these days.’

‘Look,’ she takes a sip of hot chocolate out of her mug, trying not to let her voice break pathetically ‘I know she was kind of a douche. I’ve talked about it so many times now, about her leather pants she left lying on the floor, all the books lying here and there, all her snide comments, her sarcastic remarks when I said or did something she found idiotic. She was a terrible roommate. But she was my terrible roommate. And she came charging into a fight with her mother to save me. She did that for me.’

‘We may have been lovers in 1697, but that whole part just seems so disconnected to me I can’t even think about it. There may be all sorts of romantic passionate feelings going through my mind that weren’t there before I remembered 1697, but that doesn’t make a bit of a difference to the way I feel about her. I had fallen in love with my incredibly brooding, grumpy, asshole roommate even before I realized that we had been past-life lovers or some shit like that….’

‘Whoa,’ a voice interrupts her monologue, and she freezes, astounded because the voice isn’t Perry’s, or Laf’s or Kirsch’s or Danny’s.

It’s Carmilla’s.

She wheels around in her chair abruptly to find her roommate, completely covered in dust, and mud, and with some streaks of blood stuck to her arms, staring at her in shock.

Then she faints.

******************

Stephenie Meyer had said – Life sucks, and then you die.

But apparently, she had forgotten to mention, that after you die, you come back.

Because she’d never attended Silas.

Laura comes to, and sees the strangest sight she has ever had the good fortune to view in her life (and which immediately confirms her assumption that she is dreaming) : Perry is fussing over and scolding Carmilla, and her badass, snarky roommate is simply listening, Danny looks like she wants to hug Carmilla, Kirsch looks like he already has, and Laf is playing doctor. Admittedly the last part isn’t really a surprise, but the patient they are playing doctor over is Carmilla, so……..

‘Oh God,’ she groans.

‘Ah, it’s awake,’ Laf says, smiling wide.

‘No, you idiot,’ she replies ‘I’m dreaming.’

Carmilla looks concerned, and everybody else looks amused ‘Um, no you’re not.’

‘Yes I am.’

‘You’re awake, Laura.’

‘But Carmilla’s alive.’

‘Would you rather I was dead?’ the dark haired girl asks her, arching an eyebrow.

‘Don’t say that!’ she chides, because it’s not true. She’d give her own life to see Carmilla alive, sell her soul, and apparently, dream a very vivid dream…… ‘Ouch!!!’

‘Do you believe us now?’ Danny asks, after pinching her arm.

This is crazy. This is crazy. This is absolutely crazy. This is so crazy it’s practically Silas. But she hasn’t woken up yet, so…..

She turns to Perry ‘You see her?’

‘I’m touching her, sweetie.’

‘And you see her, Laf?’

‘Considering I’m the one bandaging her wounds, yes.’

‘Before you ask us, yeah, we see her too, Laura,’ Danny answers for Kirsch too.

She’d cried over Carmilla two days straight. Refused to eat, stayed in bed, simply replaying videos in which her roommate was included. Mourned the loss of her love. Carmilla’s death had nearly destroyed her. And now….

She sits up, leans over Perry’s arm, and whacks Carmilla right on her arm.

‘Three days. Three freaking days. What were you doing for three freaking days?’

Carmilla raises her arm to ward off future blows, and looks alarmed ‘It was Silas, okay?’

‘Carmilla, I swear to God if you don’t start making sense within the next ten seconds I’m going to….’

‘Silas is built on the ruins of that town. I mean, the place where the sacrifice took place, it used to be Karnstein hall. There was a secret passage running through the ground and I think when the building collapsed I fell right into it, and banged my head really hard. So hard that I passed out for like…..a day or something. After I woke up I had to find my way out of there, and that took another day. I promise, I got here as soon as I could.’

She looks right at Carmilla, who is staring back earnestly, as though begging her to believe. Laura takes in the sight of her, completely covered in dust, her hair tangled, a bruise marring her forehead, still the most beautiful girl she has ever seen, and believes her.

‘Guys,’ she addresses her friends, not taking her eyes off Carmilla ‘Can you give us a minute?’

Her friends file out in silence, and she waits until the door has closed to speak.

‘You’re alive.’

‘I am.’

‘No messing around, right?’

‘No messing around.’

The next few seconds are a blur, but the next thing she knows, she’s in Carmilla’s arms, and sobbing hard.

‘You were dead,’ she blubbers, drinking in the smell of dust and ground and grass and Carmilla, so much Carmilla ‘I thought you were dead…..and I didn’t know what to do, and God, Carmilla, I missed you so……so much, don’t do that to me again please, Carm….’

‘Hey, hey Laura…….baby,’ Carmilla whispers gently, running a hand through her hair, and Laura stills, a smile threatening to come over her face through her tears (she called me baby, she thinks, and her heart threatens to burst with joy. Carmilla’s alive, she’s alive, she’s really alive…..) ‘Don’t cry, please. Romantic passionate feelings aside, I really don’t know how to….’

Right. Oh God.

‘Speaking of,’ she starts, face still buried in Carmilla’s shirt ‘Is there any chance you didn’t hear the whole thing?’

‘Oh, I heard the whole thing.’

‘Oh.’

‘It felt so nice, the girl of your dreams calling you a damn hero and proclaiming her love for you…’

‘If you remember,’ she interrupts, raising her head, completely mortified ‘I also called you a brooding, grumpy asshole….’

She can’t say anymore, because Carmilla tips her chin up, and presses her lips to Laura’s in the middle of her speech.

Her head is currently a mess of ‘Oh God’ and ‘What the hell’ and ‘Girl of her dreams’ which, did Carmilla really say that, she thinks hazily. The entire world has been reduced to an insignificant dot which she probably can see out of the corner of her eyes, but she doesn’t want to, because Carmilla is kissing her, and her whole body is tingling and buzzing as though every atom on the surface has come alive and is ready to party, and yeah, they’ve got a reason to party because Carmilla Karnstein is kissing her and ‘Holy whooeeee, your lips are so soft.’

‘Um, thank you,’ Carmilla replies, amused.

There is complete silence for a while, the kind of silence in which she just stares into Carmilla’s eyes and Carmilla stares into hers.

‘I do remember, you know,’ Carmilla whispers.

‘Remember what?’

‘1697. That day at the library……I knew when I saw the picture.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘I didn’t want you to think that I only liked you because of 1697. I didn’t want you to be obligated to like me back because we were past life Juliet and Juliet. I wanted you to like the sarcastic, lazy, grumpy…’

‘Wow, you’re really giving me a great reason to like you back,’ she says, and her roommate chuckles.

‘I’m just saying, 1697 or 2014, I like you all the time. Because you’re annoyingly cute, and ridiculously funny, and crazy awesome. Not because you were Laurel once.’

‘Laurel was kind of an idiot,’ she mumbles.

‘So was Mircalla. But, 2014 Laura is kind of awesome.’

‘Wish I could say the same for 2014 Carmilla.’

Carmilla smirks, then suddenly growing serious, looks her in the eye ‘Laura?’

‘Yeah?’

‘You know, right?’

It took them more than 300 years to get here. 317 to be exact. And they only got here because of a psychotic witch who was obsessed with killing both of them. But they did get here. And they did fall in love, despite not remembering anything about their past. She has no idea how two completely different people managed to find each other two different times, but guesses it’s magic. The kind of magic that only exists in Silas. The kind of magic that makes people fly and turn into barn animals and grow weird things on their heads may not be conventional magic, but it’s her kind of magic. It’s the kind of magic which spreads when Carmilla smiles, the kind of magic which speed up her heart when the girl laughs. It’s the magic that brought them together.  

Carmilla kisses her again, and her heart skips a beat.

Yep, definitely magic.   

 


End file.
